Sunday Notes

Do you believe in the Ten Commandments? Do you believe that they are just a good guideline for how to live your life, or do you believe that they are actual commandments, literally written in stone by the hand of God himself? I believe that they are in deed commandments from our literal Father in Heaven.

As a young mother I had to decide what kind of parent I would be. Would I be as strict as my parents were, as lenient as my husband's were, would I be sweet and gentle, or strict and domineering? After reading the ten commandments one day it suddenly struck me, the fact that "Honor thy father and thy mother" was written on the very same stone tablets as "Thou shalt not kill" and "Thou shalt not steal". It was a pretty heavy realization for me at the time and has continued to be a guiding thought as I strive to be a good mother. I try not to sweat the small stuff and to pick and choose my battles but we have always made respect for parents a MUST in our home and I have seen so many good things come of it for our children. They are constantly being praised for their manners and ability to talk with adults. We are able to have so much fun together without loosing our roles as parents because our children understand that we have a job to do as their mom and dad.

I've often wondered, since that moment of enlightenment, about the fact that no where on the Ten Commandments does it say, "Pick your favorite three to obey." Yet that seems to be the attitude of many who say they believe in the Ten Commandments. The only Commandments I ever here quoted by others are the ones about killing, stealing, and adultery. But if they were all important enough to be etched in stone by the hand of the Lord, shouldn't they all be just as important to us as not killing, stealing, or committing adultery? It can be very hard to keep some of the softer sounding commandments like, "Thou shalt not bear false witness" or "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain," but I think they have all been written for very very good reasons and should not be ignored. Currently we, as a family, are really working on, "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy." It is one thing not to work on the sabbath, it is much harder to "keep it holy." So, if any of you have any suggestions on how to keep the sabbath day holy, please share them with me.

Smart Habits Saturday

I started participating in SMART Habits Saturday quite a while ago and promptly stopped just a short while later. Now that all the vacations are over I'm ready to jump back in again and get SMARTer. I am still JUMPING out of bed every morning and loving the habit. I'm ignoring all the other habits I proposed because they are not habits. I'm going to have to rethink them and try again. For this week I am going to make picking Cookie up from school my new habit. No, I don't forget to pick her up, its all about how I pick her up. I want it to be a habit to have all the younger kids dressed and ready to walk to Cookie's school by 2:50 every day. This way I don't have to leave them, we don't have to hurry, and we can all have a nice leisurely walk to and from her school. We will do this rain or shine, the only exception will be if one of the kids is too sick to be outdoors.

Lizzy 101

Awww, man! I missed my momentous 100th post. Oh well, I'll just have to make do with 101 =). So here is the crash course version of Lizzy 101 (or 101 very random things about me).

1. I was homeschooled until 6th grade.
2. I am one of 7 children.
3. My father passed away at age 42 from cancer.
4. I was 16 when he died.
5. I started school in a brand new state just two days after he died.
6. My mother remarried when I was 18.
7. My step sister was a friend of mine when I was little.
8. I am totally ok with all of this.
9. I love ice cream.
10. I love food.
11. I don't like that I love food so much.
12. I LOVE eating out.
13. I don't eat out often but WAY more than my parents ever did.
14. As a kid fish sticks, tater tots, and spaghetti Os were the coolest food on earth.
15. I still like tater tots.
16. I love The Office
17. I love Dilbert
18. I've never worked in an office.
19. I like lizards, bugs, and other gross things.
20. I really wish I had a pet.
21. I grew up with a Golden Lab Retriever named Crystal.
22. Crystal gave birth to puppies twice.
23. I saw one of her puppies after it had been shot by a farmer.
24. The puppy died but Crystal lived with three bullet scars on her hindquarter.
25. I once brought a hamster back to life with a heating pad, a medicine dropper, warm milk and a lot of gentle massaging.
26. I was always mean to my boyfriends.
27. My husband was never a boyfriend.
28. He was smart and went straight from friend to husband.
29. I was married at 19.
30. I wasn't going to get married until 26... I'm glad I grabbed love when I could.
31. I have curly hair.
32. It is actually a mixture of curly, frizzy, and straight so I have to use a lot of mousse to make it all stick together and look curly.
33. I am much shyer now than I was as a teenager.
34. I have always wanted to sing the theme to Love Boat for karaoke but they never have it in their song list.
35. Whew, this is a long list.
36. I have a hard time finishing things that take me more than 5 minutes to do.
37. I love watching old movies and listening to oldies on the radio.
38. People have mistaken me for being older than I am ever since I was 14.
39. I only feel old when I am doing what should.
40. I like doing weird things.
41. It isn't fair that men can pee so easily. Gross, yes, but it is still unfair.
42. I am a cheap skate.
43. You wouldn't want me to draw your name for Christmas.
44. I wish I had the money to buy my husband a black BMW m5 with cinnamon leather interior.
45. My dream car is a full rebuilt/refurbished VW bus with a custom paint job.
46. DON'T drink out of my cup!!!!
47. DO NOT eat out of the ice cream carton. Get a bowl, or a new spoon with every bite.
48. It bothers me when people are unaware of food on their face and then don't wipe it off when you tell them they do.
49. I hate cleaning.
50. I don't mind a messy house.
51. My table is messy right now because the kids just ate lunch and I'd rather keep listing silly things than get up and clean.
52. I will clean it because the milk is out and that is just wrong.
55. Good enough for now.
56. I have a tattoo of a lizard on my foot.
57. I like my tattoo but I don't recommend getting one to anyone else because if they make a mistake (or if you make one) there is NO going back, unless you want to pay TONS of money to fix your own stupid mistake.
58. Are you still reading this???
59. I like math and hope my children will too.
60. I like to read classics and hope my children will too.
61. I really wish Hollywood would start producing movies worth watching again.
62. Cary Grant is a FABULOUS actor if you watch his movies more than one time. His facial expressions are always spot on.
101. I like to cut corners.

And there you have it.

P.S.

P.S. Here is the link for Wonder Years. I figured out how to get You Tube on my blog, but I couldn't get it to stay there and embed a link in the text at the same time.

typophile film festival 4 (Opening Credits)

This is amazing! I love blogging because I find so many cool things that I never would have seen on my own. This film made me smile and want to cry and it is all thanks to the husband of a soon to be new blogging friend of mine, Wonder Years.

Don't Be So Dramatic

Today was my first day teaching drama at our weekly co-op and it was a lot of fun. I thought I would post what we did because it actually makes a great game for family home evenings, family reunions, or any silly party. First I had everyone take a diologue card. I took these lines from random plays. Everyone reads their line. Then Everyone takes a Drama Card: Blue is your character, purple is your point motivation (current emotion), and green is your prop. Now everyone has to read their line again but in character now. It was so cute! The kids were laughing and having so much fun (and so were the adults). Some of these were pretty tricky. Monster Man was a bunny, who was worried, with a carrot, and had to say, "Maybe tomorrow, ask me tomorrow." He hopped around nibbling on his carrot and squeaking out his line. Last night I showed the game to DSSH and he and I played a few rounds. Good times!

Good Morning Sunshine

I am off and literally running to my co-op class this morning. Until I can get back and blog about some cool homeschooling things I thought I would leave you with this lovely painting by Michael Sanders. This goes with my whole Sunrise theme. I love this painting because of the way he shows sunlight. I would swear that if I were to touch the wall of that building I would feel the warmth of the sun on it. I also love the stark contrast made by the shadow of an unseen banner or hanging sign and the arch of the doorway. It is amazing how instantly dark things become when they are denied the light of the sun.

Sunrise

“What is the good of your stars and trees, your sunrise and the wind, if they do not enter into our daily lives?”
E. M. Forster
“There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope."
Bern Williams If you live in Seattle, or near it, then you know what will be happening for the next 5-6 months. RAIN. Along with that rain comes a lot of depressed people. Now, when I first moved here I thought that all these depressed people were rather funny and I would just roll my eyes and think, "You all just need to get off your butts and get over it." I no longer laugh so easily at "those depressed people" now because last year I became one of them. Last winter was almost a record breaking rainy winter and I gotta tell ya, it did a number on me. I will never forget my first experience with deep depression. I was driving along in my car, it was raining and the sky was a very soul sucking gray, and for some reason my brain wasn't functioning. I could not manage to make a very simple and often used exit on the freeway (by this I mean I got lost 5 times and ended up taking over an hour for a little 15 minute trip). Suddenly I felt very small and I knew that I had to give up on my very important errands and just go home and get in bed, and never get out of it. I felt like I was being swallowed in quicksand and wanted it to swallow me whole. Luckily a flicker of thought was able to escape the mire and I was able to tell myself, "Liz, I think your are feeling depression." Having never felt this before I was curious and decided to observe myself. My back was hunched over, my eyelids were lax, my hands were cold and so were my feet and the sides of my torso. I could feel the color grey throughout my whole body. I would have sworn that, had you cut me open, my blood would have oozed in a greyish rotting mass. It was rather scary and extremely unpleasant. Once I felt I had quenched my curiosity I went into survival mode and delved into those dusty file cabinets in the back of my brain. What is it that I'm always saying that depressed people should do to get out of their depression?

1. Move, get your blood pumping. I turned the radio on to the oldies station , turned up the volume and started singing loudly and dancing in my seat (car dancing, it's an art).

2. Force yourself to do what you are supposed to do. I had actually turned my car towards home so I turned myself around again and made myself finish my very important errands.

3. Get around other people. While doing my errands I chatted with every salesperson I met instead of just rushing out with barely a "Thank you."

It worked! I was able to get myself back to normal, or what is normal for me anyway, and I was very grateful for that. The rest of the winter, though, I was doing battle with the greyness. I could tell you some of the horror stories of things I found myself doing but I will spare myself the humiliation. Needless to say, I had joined the ranks of the Seasonally Depressed in Seattle. Now, Autumn is here and while that means lovely colored trees and holiday excitement it also means, for me, the coming of the grey. Last year I was caught off guard, but this year I hope to be ready for it. One of the things I've realized is that I CAN NOT DEPEND ON THE SUN FOR MY HAPPINESS. When I lived in Idaho it was all fine and well to take a day off from life on a rainy day and stay curled up at home; but, when rainy days are everyday... well it's just not gonna work like that. So, this year I have decided to give myself a theme to work on to keep me out of the grey.

MAKE MY OWN SUNSHINE

I will be focusing on finding ways to create sunshine, and all that it represents to me, in my home and in my personal being. This week I thought I would kick it off with a sub theme of SUNRISE: Starting the day off right. Right now it is grey and rainy and I want sooo badly to stay in my sweats after my morning walk, but I am going to go take a shower and put on something bright and sunny and wear earrings or a necklace for some extra brightness.

And now, because I just found out how to add video to my blog, here is a little bit of sunshine to start your morning off right:

Please pardon Sweet Terror's PB&J face, I just didn't want to loose the moment just for the sake of a clean kisser.

Monster Man Strikes Again

You should never laugh at your child when they are misbehaving as it will only encourage them to repeat the misbehavior. ~Anyone who can say that with a straight face hasn't met my Monster Man.

Monster Man is supposed to be eating his carrots. It isn't that hard, we are eating chicken noodle soup and all I've required of him is to eat all his noodles and carrots. He has been stalling all night. First the soup was too hot, then it needed salt, then he had to pick every little bit of parsley and onion off his carrots before he could put them in his mouth, then Sweet Terror stole his spoon (the one he wasn't using because it wouldn't pick his carrots up just right), then one of the carrots fell on the floor, etc, etc, etc, then he finally pulled out the big one, the one excuse that can never be argued with, "I have to go to the bathroom." He "goes" and it takes him forever. I yell, "Monster Man, finish and get back here and eat your carrots!" I really wish I didn't sound so much like Miss Hannigan when I yell. Monster Man runs out and flashes me his just-try-to-stay-mad-at-me smile and I patiently ask, "Did you wash your hands?" He runs back into the bathroom. I hear enough water coming out of my faucet to fill a bathtub (Ooooo, I could really go for a warm, quiet bubble bath right now) and so I yell,

"Monster Man.... MONSTER MAN!!!!"

I am just about to charge into my bathroom to yell at said Monster Man when he comes rushing out and smiles up at me with a ridiculously large set of plastic, glow in the dark, vampire teeth in his mouth.

I tried not to laugh, honestly I did.

I did manage to mumble, in between fits of unparent-like giggling, that vampires need to eat their carrots too so that they don't die.

I Know What I Want For Christmas

Is it too early to start making my Christmas List for Santa? I found this cute little Ice Cream Cozy over at Cuteable's blog. She always finds the coolest things. Anyway, after finishing the two pints of B&J's that I bought yesterday my hands are really cold and I'm suddenly thinking that the Ice Cream Cozy is BRILLIANT!!!

Scribbit Write-Away Entry (Late as usual)

Things have been a bit hectic over here with the start of homeschool and potty training so I haven't had much time to write or blog. This is why I am going to "cheat" and recycle an old post for the Write-Away contest that was created and is hosted by Michelle of Scribbit. The grand prize is a purse that Michelle hand crafted herself (She sells them here). Wish me luck!

Making Room For Real Growth

I don't have a green thumb, by any stretch of the imagination. I bring in stray plants that follow me home and I beg, plead, and promise, "I'll water it everyday, I'll fertilize it, I'll re-pot it when it gets too big, I promise! Pleeeeease let me keep it". In about 5 weeks I have a brown twig sticking up out of a little pot of moldy mud. My main gardening fault is that I have no stomach for the butchery that is required. I plant my little row of carrot seeds and happily watch their little green shoots popping up from the ground. Then I read on the back of the seed packet that I'm supposed to "thin" them out (which means pulling up and killing more than half of my new little babies that I worked so hard to plant). I can never bring myself to pull those innocent little shoots that hold so much potential. I leave them there, hoping that the seed packet was just joking, and give them lots of water. After about a month I still have a pretty little row of green shoots, but they seem to have stopped growing. In reality I have actually prevented every single one of my precious green shoots from reaching their potential and might as well not have planted a single one to begin with. I also have the same issues with "pinching back". I started to buy the pre-grown tomato plants from Home Depot so I wouldn't have to suffer the death of young shoots. But the instruction card tells me that I must "pinch off several inches" from the top of my beautiful plant. I look at my strong looking tomato plant and I reason to myself, I can't pinch it, what if I kill it? I'm sure the first wild tomato plant wasn't "pinched back" and it survived. So I allow my plant to grow without limits, I will not be responsible for holding this energetic plant back in life. It grows to amazing heights and I am proud that I broke the social mores of gardening. It grows, and grows, and yet there is only one tiny tomato on my behemoth bush, and it never turns red. Covering my face with my hands, I weep because what I thought was plant freedom was really just undirected and unused energy going to waste. So, after all the useless deaths, and wasted fertilizer, have I learned my lesson? I have been growing an avocado tree (you know, where you stick toothpicks in an avocado seed and stick it in water) and it is actually getting somewhere! I did research on how to grow them this time. I got to the dreaded part of "pinching back" new growth and... I put it off (it still makes me queasy, I know I'll never be a plant surgeon in this life), and put it off a little more. Then, just a few days ago, I took a deep breath, placed my fingernails around the top of my lovely, fragile plant, gave a little moan of apology, and pinched. I almost feinted. Every day I have watched my plant, waiting for the amputation to cause gangrene and then the death of my little guy. To my amazement, my plant suddenly has leaves! It had grown "leaves" before but they were supper tiny and are just barely noticeable going up the stem, but the two tiny leaves under the amputation just started growing, and fast! I am starting to realize that sometimes we have to cut back in order to have the energy to really produce anything of real worth. I am starting to look at my own life and I am seeing many areas of my life that maybe need pinching back, or thinning out. Am I choking myself, or expending useless energy, when I could be producing valuable fruit? Well, watch out world, Lizzy has her gardening gloves on and a pair of pruning shears and she is ready to GROW!

Potty Training Update

1 peepee on the floor

1 peepee in the chair

5 peepees in the potty chair

2 poopoos in the potty chair

One naked bum running around the house wearing a batman mask and cape.

Oh yeah, we are having fun!

Ewwwwww!

Can you guess what I'll be doing for the next two weeks?

Sunday Notes

Convert: Con=with Vert=to turn Convert=a turning (or changing) in order to "go with"

Last night I was able to attend the adult Stake Conference meeting (if you're not LDS just think of it as church on Saturday night) and one of the speakers gave a great talk on converting to the Gospel of Christ. He mentioned 5 things that a person needs to be able to do in order to allow for a full conversion. I think that these points hold true no matter what you are converting to, whether it be a healthier life style, developing good habits, loving yourself, or any other major change that you want to make in your life.

1. KNOWLEDGE You need to educate yourself so that you know the hows and whys of your conversion.
2. UNDERSTANDING The knowledge is of little use if it doesn't make sense to you.
3. CONSCIOUS DECISION to fully convert, fulfill requirements, participate, and do what is required (Faith without works is dead)
4. SACRIFICE Any change you make in life will require sacrifices. you may have to sacrifice friends, locations, pride, ideas, personal comforts, etc.
5. FAITH IN THE OUTCOME You have to truly believe that steps 1-4 will be worth it in the end, even through the tough times. You must be able to endure to the end before you can obtain the prize.

Top Ten

An Ordinary Mom is hosting an awesome giveaway and today is the very last day to participate. (How is that for procrastination? I'm tellin' ya, I am the best at putting things off to the last minute). At first I was all excited because I love free stuff, but then I remembered that we just had our last stroller burning party because angel #4 had grown out of the whole "stroller thing," so I decided not to enter. But then I saw something hilarious while out running errands in the Supervan. There was a comically shaped middle aged man pushing a pug dog around in a stroller!!! My children thought I had lost it, yet again, as I was snorting, chuckling, and mumbling spurts of, "Gives new meaning.... HA!" , "Yeah, you're, 'Walking your dog'... Hee heee." And, "Wouldn't want precious puppy to get tired... BA!" Ok, so it had been a long day and I probably enjoyed that little scene far more than was healthy; but it got me thinking: What other uses might I find for the ultra fancy Chicco Ct0.1 Stroller? Here is my top ten list:

1. For pushing around a dog when you go for "walks". After all, it is called, "Going for a stroll around the park." (Ok, I'm still laughing about that man and his pug).

2. And because of the Ct0.1's awesome reclining seat feature I am not limited to just small dogs. I could push around an anorexic St. Bernard or even a medium size goat.

3. For carting groceries around. Think about it, you wouldn't have to worry about the bothersome task of returning the cart or getting yelled at for leaving it in the middle of the parking lot. Just fold it and throw it in the car (just watch out for the eggs!)

4. Give it to the kids and tell them it is the go cart they keep begging you for. I'm sure that with all the Ct0.1's safety features it should be perfectly safe for kids to push each other down the Smith's very steep and very curvy driveway in.

5. Park it next to the treadmill for extra laundry draping space.

6. Give it away at the next baby shower so you can make all the other guests look like cheapwads for only giving blankets and onesies.

7. If your granny is small enough you can give it to her and tell her it is a walker/wheelchair combo. She might even put you back in her will for such a thoughtful gift.

8. Train your children to push YOU around in it while you go window shopping in the mall. Hey, turnabout is fair play.

9. Give it to your son on his 16th birthday. After all, he only wrote "Cool new wheels" on his birthday wish list.

10. Bring it home and put it in your living room. When your husband, or boyfriend, asks why it is there just give him a shy smile. After he is done having a heart attack you can all have a good laugh over your funny joke.

With all these great non-baby uses who wouldn't want to enter this contest?

It Is So Hard To Find Good Help These Days

(Sing to the tune of Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?)

Where is my babysitter?

Where is my full time nanny?

Where is my in home cook?

Where have all the good maids goooone?

My sister and I often console one another over the impossibility of "getting it all done". We are both stay at home mothers, we both have four children, we both homeschool, and are both involved in the managing of very tight budgets. We are constantly asking, "How is it that we spin our wheels like crazy and still feel like we are standing still?" As I type I am rubbing the bottom of my foot across the cuff of my jeans to wipe off crumbs, AND I JUST SWEPT 15 MINUTES AGO!!! By the end of the day it is obvious that something always has to give. If I am a good homeschooler I usually miss the laundry and dinner. If I am a good neighbor I never seem to manage homeschooling or sweeping. When I am a fun mom I usually haven't done any of the things on my perpetual "To Do" list on the fridge. And if I manage to get everything done in one day I am hardly a good wife by the time hubby gets home. I have heard it said many times that stay at home moms work the equivalent of 5 full time jobs. That sounds great, but I'm sure that I'd have been fired from at least 2 of those jobs by the end of every day (and, honestly, some days I've even fantasized about getting those pink slips). And even though I am the first to tell other women that they shouldn't feel guilt just because they aren't Superwoman, I am all too ready to add "self beater" to my professional resume. Well, Ladies, I am here to proclaim that I officially

NO LONGER FEEL THE GUILT!

I know, you either don't believe me or you are insanely jealous (or you just think I'm crazy and have skipped to someone else's blog by now). No, I am serious. A lot of my guilt came from this stupid pride I've always had that "If the pioneer women can do it, so can I." But I am learning that the pioneer women either had awful lives that I don't want to have, or they didn't do it all because they lived with family, had slaves, hired hands, servants, or young ladies to help them. Heck, they even hired women to breast feed their babies for them!!! I was recently reading Little Men by Louisa May Alcott because it is about Jo and her husband running a school for boys (basically an over grown homeschool) and they had little money and I thought it might make me feel better. While it is a great book I couldn't help wincing at yet another "nanny" and "cook". The straw that finally broke my back was when my sister called me with the disgusted proclamation that I wouldn't believe what she had just found out. Apparently even my grandma had a young girl from down the road come in to help her with the cooking and cleaning while her children were young. My very poor grandma, I might add. So, were is my "young girl from down the road?" She is at the mall. She doesn't need my very piddly $8/hour for watching my kids or scrubbing my floor because her parents gave her an ipod and $20 last night for nothing. Well, I may not be able to afford a french tutor for my children, a maid for my floors, or a cook for my kitchen, but I will be darned if I ever feel guilty for not making the 10 Greatest Homemakers of America list anytime soon. And with that, I am making frozen corndogs for dinner!

When does a package of Ramen Noodles become part of a major science experiment?

When you cook it using water in its three states of matter. This was our science experiment for the day. After reading What Is The World Made Of? by Zoehfeld we started our lunch using solid water ice cubes. We heated them in a pot until they became liquid. When our pot started producing gaseous water we added the noodles. We also held a cold cookie sheet over the steam to show how water vapor can cool and condense to return to the liquid state. The kids had a lot of fun doing this and I was more than pleased that we were able to finish a science experiment and make lunch all at the same time. Bon appetite!

Que Hora Es?

What time is it when the bottom of your feet are green, the water in your bucket is black, your laundry room is actually empty, and your knees are about to buckle?

TIME FOR ICE CREAM!!!

This place is almost as clean as it was when we moved in. I'm pooped!

To My Monster Man

To my wonderful little guy,

Happy Birthday buddy. You are so full of energy sometimes it seems like you will just burst. Daddy and I often joke that you are unable to walk. If you aren't sleeping you are either running, jumping, or climbing. When we try to get you to walk you still have to skip because you just can't walk. You are very intense and live life with passion. I've never seen anyone dramatize the eating of green beans the way you do, or display such fright at the sight of blood. Sometimes (often) your intense energy and passion lead you to make mistakes, or to hurt others; in those moments your sorrow over having done wrong wins all hearts and you are quickly forgiven. You are very strong. You give hugs that cut off a persons windpipe, but, when you remember, you can give some of the sweetest hugs ever. you want so badly to be "smart", to learn new things, and to be "good", to do what's right. Everyday you work at being better and everyday I see you improve. Thank you for opening all my doors. Thank you for learning to share with Sweet Terror (even though she was so mean to you for all these years). Thank you for being Pablo's best friend. Thank you for telling me I'm beautiful and for all the hugs and kisses. I love you Monster Man. Happy birthday!!!

Prepare Yourself For Lots Of Ice Cream

My son, Pablo, hates making mistakes. When he was younger he would have a total melt down if one of his letters wasn't written perfect, or if one of the eyes on his smiley face was too big. Last year he was taking a writing class and before he went in the classroom I would have to say, "And remember what we say about mistakes?" And he would nod his head and respond, "Mistakes are good!" then smile and give me thumbs up. Well, folks, I am here to say it once again. In fact mistakes aren't just good, they are FANTASTIC, BRILLIANT, GRRRRREAT! and if I could find the guy who made a particular mistake last weekend, I would kiss him! (don't tell DSSH)

I haven't had much ice cream since I've come back from Idaho because I've just been too busy to sit and enjoy anything. Monday was a very busy day full of gruesome back breaking spring cleaning (I know I'm late) and DSSH could tell that I was in need of some serious ice cream. He packed us all in the car and saved me from having to make dinner by taking us out for dinner. Afterword he pulled up to a Safeway and said, "I'll sit here with the kids while you go get some ice cream. I slowly dragged myself in the store but with little hope of finding anything I like because every time I find a favorite they stop making it. As I peruse the Breyers section something catches my eye. There is just a corner of a carton peeking out from the shadows behind several cartons of Breyers Fried Ice Cream (NOT a favorite) and I think, "No, it couldn't..... but what if..." I open the freezer door, step onto the bottom shelf and pull myself up (No I am not above crawling into a freezer in public) and there, hiding all by itself, is a beautiful carton of Breyers Sarah Lee Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream. I am giddy to the point of hyperventilating. I desperately search the paper tags on the shelf to see if there is a spot for it, hoping that they are once again carrying my favorite flavor. They aren't. Somehow, somewhere, this ice cream accidentally got shipped to my Safeway and the store stocker didn't know where to put it so he just crammed it in with the Fried Ice Cream (bless him).

I was about to rush out of the store with my heaven sent Sarah Lee when my wits returned and I realized that I would need back up ice cream, you know, like a filler to help make the Sarah Lee last longer. Again, there wasn't anything jumping out at me, and then... I saw them...

Now, I have to preface this with admitting the fact that I am a hypocrite. Every year I self righteously announce my disgust that they put out Halloween and Christmas decorations WAY too soon. They only do it to make us buy more, to extend the shopping season, etc. I show my disdain by refusing to buy anything Holidayish until AFTER the holiday is over and I can get it all on sale. But, when I saw that Dreyers has followed suit and prematurely put out their holiday ice cream flavors, I just couldn't restrain myself. Glancing around to make sure no one was looking I hurriedly grabbed a carton of pumpkin ice cream and peppermint stick ice cream. I rushed to the checkout and refused to make eye contact with anyone. DSSH knows I'm crazy, so I was just reinforcing that knowledge by skipping out to the car giggling about my secret ice cream discoveries. I was like the Grinch, clutching and cackling about how I was going to steal a little bit of Christmas early this year. BwAHAHAHAHAHA.



This isn't unhealthy, is it?

STOP!

THIS IS BIG NEWS PEOPLE!!!!

Do you realize that for years now mothers have been throwing away one of the world's greatest toys without even realizing it? It is a common enough occurrence, kids use markers to draw a picture, or to draw on the wall, or their face, or their baby sister's face, and then leave the scene of the crime without putting the lid back on the marker. Following the usual routine a mother will follow behind them, sighing as she thinks about how much money is being thrown away each time they have to buy new markers because the "old" ones are now all dried out. Bending over to pick up the uncapped markers we think of little else, except the possible ab work out that all this bending over is giving us. We gather the now "useless" items and quickly toss them in the waste basket. STOP! They aren't completely useless. Go ahead and toss the dried up marker, that part is useless; but, whatever you do, don't toss that lid. With just a bit of imagination marker lids can be one of the greatest toys ever invented. Here are just some of the many uses for a small Ziploc bag full of old marker lids.

1. Use them to teach colors.

2. If you have lots of lids you can have kids sort them into piles of same color, size, or style.
3. Kids can line them up in small legions of soldiers and have marker lid battles (small color pencils seem to make great swords, lances, and spears in this game)
4. If your little girl has the same imagination as Sweet Terror she can pretend they are barbies dancing, animals playing, birds flying, etc...
5. You can build tricky little towers with them.
6. And last, but certainly NOT least, you can use them as fake fingers.


The best part is that they are small. I can fill a little sandwich baggie with them and keep it in my diaper bag for times when I need the kids to be quietly entertained. Sure, they can be a choking hazard, but then they were just as much of a hazard when they were on the marker to begin with. So, now instead of counting markers as wasted money just think of it as buying marker lid toys that come with a bonus of disposable markers.

There's No Place Like Home

Ahhhhhh, home at last.

Top ten signs that it is time to stop vacationing:
1. The answering machine is full.
2. While driving into your driveway you say, "Look kids, we're home!" and they ask, "Who's home is it?"
3. You enter your house and wonder, "Has my house always smelled like this?"
4. Just the thought of handling another wet swimsuit makes you want to cuss in front of your children.
5. You actually turn down one last dip in the hot tub because of sign #4.
6. Home cooked food sounds so good it brings tears to your eyes.
7. Doing your own chores sounds fun.
8. There is more sand in your car than there was at the beach.
9. You have spent more money on toothbrushes and sunscreen than you have on gas.
10. Your mailbox is full of sympathy cards because people think you have up and died.

I'm not sure how long it is going to take me to get all the sand out of our shorts, or the campfire smell out of our shoes. I'm not sure if my kids will believe me when I tell them that this next weekend we are just staying home. I'm not sure if I will be able to fully unpack and catch up on laundry before Christmas. But this I do know: I'm stayin' put for awhile. So, don't get married, have a baby, hold a family reunion, have an anniversary, offer me tickets to a big game, invite me to your beach house, ask me to go camping, or any other such fun because I will not get in that car one more time (Well, unless it's to run to the store for some stress relieving ice cream. Anyone want to suggest a new flavor for me to try?).