New Year's To-Do List

I love To-Do Lists, I really do. I'm sure I've written enough To-Do Lists in my life to fill a book the size of War and Peace. So, this year instead of writing New Years resolutions I decided to make only one resolution. I hereby resolve to complete the following To-Do List before January 1st of 2009. I figure that, as I will be turning 30 in 2009, I should have 30 things to accomplish. Here they are, in no particular order other than the way my brain produced them:

1. Paint a picture for Cookie's and Sweet Terror's bedroom.

2. Paint a picture for Pablo's and Monster Man's bedroom.

3. Finish my novel no matter how silly, or badly written it has to be.

4. Submit my advice column to a publication.

5. Submit it to another publication.

6. Submit it one more time before giving up.

7. Buy new bedding for my bed (which will hopefully lead me to actually decorate my bedroom for the first time since I was 17).

8. Read the Deerslayer by James Fenimore Cooper (I started it several months ago and never got past page 3. I hate to leave classics unread.)

9. Write 100 personal letters, not emails, to loved ones and friends.

10. Send Grandpa some cinnamon rolls.

11. Learn to play I Stand All Amazed on the keyboard.

12. Teach Pablo to ride the two wheeler he got for Christmas.

13. Teach Monster Man to read.

14. Potty train Sweet Terror.

15. Have Pablo write 15 letters to loved ones and friends.

16. Re-pot all my house plants.

17. Reupholster the 2nd chair (I reupholstered the 1st one and then lost the desire to tackle the 2nd one).

18. Take, print, frame, and hang current pics of the kids.

19. Get a current family photo taken (the last one we had taken was 4 years ago)

20. Organize a holiday binder so I will be better organized in dealing with the holidays.

21. Fully update my address book so I can actually send the Christmas cards I write next year.

22. Walk a total of 365 miles. (you know, as in, "Yes Doctor, of course I'm exercising," kind of walking.

23. Teach Pablo to make lunch till he can make 5 lunches for the family all by himself.

24. Do the same with Monster Man and have him make 3 family lunches all by himself.

25. Teach Cookie to make dinner and have her make 5 dinners for the family all by herself.

26. Watch Ben-Hur with DSSH.

27. Wear my fancy necklace in public at least once.

28. Go dancing with DSSH.

29. Make or buy myself a new apron.

30. Eat stuffed salmon at McCormick & Schmick's (It is stuffed with blue crab, shrimp, and brie cheese. YUMMMM. I will eat this on my Birthday because I didn't get it this last year.)

Resolutions

Are you getting all fired up to make your New Years Resolutions? The Ensign is here to help. Here are some great articles that might help push you in the right direction this coming year.

Trying to cut out the amount of time you spend in front of the tube?

Want to spend less and save more?

Hoping to fight less in your marriage?

Determined to start going to church again?

Want a whole new way to exercise?

And here are two blog posts that are also helping me with my resolution planning:
Using Time Wisely
Putting The Resolve In your Resolutions

Happy Reading!

Cheese-ing Up The New Year

Did you get any of those surprise goodie plates or gifts from neighbors, friends, or people you didn't even think knew you? Are you feeling guilty? Are you wishing there was a way you could return the favor without looking like you are only giving in order to return the favor? Were you left without the time or means to give to them before you were swallowed up in the all-consuming rush of Christmas? Well, worry no more, because the cheese ball is here to rescue you. No, no, no, I'm not talking about me, silly, I'm talking about the real deal.


Last year was our first Christmas in this neighborhood and I was totally unprepared for all the gifts we received from others. Then I remembered my favorite Christmas loophole, New Years. Most people still have their Christmas trees up on New Years Eve, people are still getting Christmas cards and presents that were late in the mail, everyone is still eating Christmas goodies, and therefore most everyone is still in the tail-end euphoria that is Christmas. For this reason I have deemed it legally Christmas until New Years Day. This means I still have 3 more days left to get out Christmas cards and to give goodies to all the people I missed. Now, even though it is "legally" still Christmas, no one is going to be very impressed with another plate of Christmas sugar at this point so I will save them the trial of having to pretend they are so glad to get another one. Instead, I like to make and deliver cheese balls and crackers. It is the perfect New Year's Eve snack, they can be made ahead of time, and I don't have to bake or risk burning myself with molten sugar again. Here are my do's and don'ts about giving cheese balls:

1. Never give a whole cheese ball. No one, not even at a party, actually finishes a whole cheese ball. For this reason I split one cheese ball into thirds (or fourths if giving two to each person) and make small cheese balls.
2. Don't make the usual Cheddar/Worcestershire cheese ball because those are the kind that never get finished. I like to make several different kinds of cheese ball, ones that are unique or not that common. (See bottom of post for recipe links)
3. Do give the recipe with your cheese ball. Not only will it save them from having to ask you for it if they like it, but with allergies these days people really need to know what you've put in it.
4. Do give crackers with your cheese ball. Do keep crackers wrapped in their original packaging because you don't know when they will get around to eating your cheese ball and soggy or stale crackers are never impressive.
5. Avoid using nuts to coat your cheese ball. Many people have allergies to nuts, some people just don't like nuts, and if they wait a few days to eat the cheese ball the nuts can become soggy. For this reason I prefer to roll my cheese balls in fresh herbs (NOT basil, it turns black), grated parmesan cheese, bacon bits (REAL bacon), or sprinkled all over with paprika.

Other good New Year's Eve gifts are spiced nuts, carmel or kettle popcorn, Cinnamon rolls (who wants to make breakfast on New Year's day?), and other silly stuff like that.

HAPPY CHEESE-ING AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

White Cheddar Cheese Ball
Roquefort Cheese Ball
Feta Cheese Ball
Spinach Artichoke Cheese Ball
Spicy Cheese Ball
Pineapple Cheese Ball (I add bacon bits to this one and roll it in bacon bits too)

Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I have lots to post about but I am keeping my computer off till after Christmas and I probably won't be blogging much till after the New Year begins. I hope you are all well and happy during the festivities and miracles of Christmas.

More On My Special Christmas Story

If you were touched by the special Christmas story I shared yesterday you can listen to it tonight on the Dave Ramsey Show. My sister sent the story in and was asked to tell it again on air via phone tonight. I am so excited that she is sharing this story with such a large audience because it truly is a story about Christ-like love and generosity. Some details I left out were the fact that the mother of this family was a single mother raising 4 children on her own. AND, not only did she help us when our dad was sick, but she ended up passing away from cancer herself not too many years later. This lovely saint's name was Sylvia Bierman and her children's last names are Smith and Ferguson. THANKS FOREVER!!!

Details: Dave Ramsey Show airs tonight on the http://www.foxbusiness.com/our-team/on-air/index.html?cid=509480&st=now

"Stink. Stank. Stunk."

I was as cuddly as a cactus, I was as charming as an eel. I had all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile. I was a total Grinch last night. It started at 8:30pm and by 10:30 I was mentally biting my husband's head off and chewing it with a side of sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich. I'm glad I kept my Grinch mouth shut but I'm sure he felt some of my laser beams melt his soul as I glared at him for daring to try to snuggle me after I had just wrapped 20 presents ALL BY MYSELF. Can you hear the martyrdom dripping from those words? Yes, I had taken the liberty of using my quiet time to watch a fun movie (Bourne Ultimatum) while the kids napped, therefore leaving me no time to wrap presents again until they went to bed in the evening. Well, just because I used my time to watch a full length movie shouldn't mean that my husband should be allowed to play a computer game (the first one he has played in weeks) to wind down after his long 10 hour day at work! Luckily I was smart enough to realize that I was overly tired and mostly wrong so I went to bed; and in my grumbling I vowed not to do anymore Christmas work after the hours of 9pm for the rest of the year! Even if all of my husband's presents have to be wrapped in plastic grocery bags on Christmas morning (just kidding). After all, Christmas doings should be done cheerfully, with joy in the heart and and a song on the lips (and with plenty of holiday goodies to munch on). So, on with the Spirit of Christmas and off with the fuzzy green Grinch hair!

In honor of my refound Christmas Spirit, here is a fun tag I got from Simple Life At Home.
1. List 12 random things about yourself that have to do with Christmas2. Please refer to it as a 'hoopla' and not the dreaded 'm'-word3. You have to specifically tag people when you're done. None of this "if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged" stuff is allowed...then nobody ends up actually doing it. The number of people who you tag is really up to you -- but the more, the merrier to get this 'hoopla' circulating through the blogosphere.4. Please try and do it as quickly as possible. The Christmas season will be over before we know it and I'd like to get as many people involved as possible.

1. I love really weird Christmas tree decorations. Among some of my favorites are a Ringo Star doll, a glittery gold boot, and my tinfoil Jesus Star that I made when I was 4.
2. I like to stay up really late on Christmas Eve and I am always the first one awake.
3. It really bothers me that I wake up before my kids do.
4. I will lie awake in bed for one and a half hours on Christmas morning and then I wake the kids up and have them wake DSSH up.
5. We carry on my parents' tradition of having dear friends over and making homemade pizza on Christmas Eve.
6. I have to watch Will Vinton's Claymation Christmas every year. This year I almost had a heart attack because it is an old VHS that my mom recorded off TV and it is starting to get fuzzy.
7. I start quoting from the movie Christmas Story as soon as the tree goes up and I don't stop until it comes back down.
8. The first bite of my mom's homemade Almond Rocca brings with it the first true feelings of Christmas for me.
9. When we were kids our parent's always had us do 12 days of Christmas drop offs to certain peoples' homes. The best part was trying to hide before the person answered their door. One year, I was 7 and my sister was 10, the snow was especially deep. My sister and I snuck up to the door, picked a tree to run to, and rang the bell. The person answered the door WAY to soon so we had to improvise. I jumped behind a bush and my sister just lept off the front porch and did a full body slam into the snow. She instantly disappeared under several feet of snow and proceeded to just lay there, face down, in the snow while the person looked around saying, "Is anybody there?" and looked all over for any sight of us. My sister rocks!
10. Growing up we had a fake Christmas tree and it had to be weighted down so that it wouldn't tip over. To secure it my dad would send us little girls down to his gun shop to get his bags of metal pellets. Those bags were H E A V Y and we had to drag them all the way upstairs. It was a test of toughness for us, though, and we loved it. Each of us gloried in the year when we were finally big enough to pick the bag up and carry it the entire way. I'm sure I will suffer some back problems when I'm older because of it.
11. My sister (same one who jumped in the snow) loved peeking in the presents. I don't think I've forgiven her yet for peeking at all of mine one year and telling me what they were. The whole point of wrapping paper is so you DON'T RUIN THE SURPRISE!!!
12. My most special Christmas was the year that my dad was very sick with cancer. We didn't have a lot of money in our family of 9, and were trying to focus on being cheerful and enjoying our time with our father so were we very surprised to wake up and see so many presents under our tree that they overflowed into the living room. As we opened each gift (and they were really nice gifts) we kept asking everyone who had done this. Mom and dad interrogated each of us but no one had any idea who had done this or even HOW they had done it. It really was as if Santa had snuck in and delivered all these wonderful things. It wasn't till many years later that my oldest sister finally confessed that she had unlocked the back door for a dear friend of ours so that he could sneak in and leave all the gifts that his family had bought for us. I'm crying now even as I type this because I don't think we've ever been able to fully thanks them for what they gave us that year. it was one of our last magical moments with our dad and it was beautiful.

If you want to participate, I'm tagging:
La Donna
Misty
and In The Life Of A Child

Taking My Own Medicine

It is a challenge being a parent, no doubt. The hardest part, for me, is knowing that the only way to teach children is by example. You can talk till you are blue in the face, but in the end it doesn't matter a smidge what you say. The most idiotic words a parent can say to their child is, "I don't want you to end up like me." So, how do I get my daughter to understand that I really don't want her to parent the way I have parented her? Notice I don't say "the way I parent," because, as we all know, it is nearly impossible to parent each child the same way. For some reason I am able to consider myself a pretty durn good mom to my other children but not to Cookie. This has been a ache in my heart for many years. I don't know when we started having problems, maybe it was because she was so hard to nurse so we didn't get that relaxed bonding. Maybe it was because I felt jealous when I first realized that I was no longer the only woman in my husbands heart. Maybe it is because she is so much like me and I don't like having a sentient mirror image of myself following me around, demonstrating all my faults. Maybe it is because she is the oldest and so I expect WAY too much from her. Maybe it is a little bit of all these things. What it really comes down to, though, is that I'm not at peace with my child... and that is unacceptable.

This has been a self improvement project of mine for the past 2 years. The best step I took was sending her to public school. As much as it hurt me to give up homeschooling her we really needed that time away from each other for me to gain control of my reactions to her actions, and also just to give us time away from each other to develop our own personalities. But, I hadn't really improved any of my parenting, I had just gained a bit of freedom and the ability to avoid her for half a day.

Lately our biggest struggle has been the way she treats her brother, Monster Man. She hasn't really liked the poor guy since he was 2 and has been rather obvious about it. It took us two years to get her to eat at the same table with him. She still won't sit next to him at dinner, church, or during family prayers. I was able to just accept it as sibling stuff and we set things up so that Monster Man wouldn't notice. But lately things have gotten REALLY bad. Cookie is a good kid and doesn't get in trouble for the most part but it seems like I am lecturing her all the time about the way she treats and talks to her brother. I finally sat her down for a talk and this is basically how it went:

Me: Cookie, what have you been getting in trouble for every day lately?

Her: For talking mean to Monster Man

Me: Do you love him?

Her: (Shrugging) yeah

Me: Honey, if something awful were to happen to Gabe today, if he were to die right now, what would be the last thing he heard you say?

Her: Yelling at him (she is tearing up now)

Me: Have you ever noticed that any time I have to get mad at one of you guys I always end it with hugging you and telling you what I love about you? I do that because I want to make sure that the last thing my children hear from me is how much I love them. When was the last time you told Monster Man that you love him?

Her: I don't know

Me: When was the last time you hugged him?

Her: I don't know

Me: When was the last time you asked him to play with you?

Her: I don't know

Me: When was the last time you said something mean to him?

Her: Just a few minutes ago

Me: Cookie, I know that deep down you love him, but do you think he knows you love him? Now, I have talked to you about this over and over again. You've gotten in lots of trouble and even been punished for the things you've said to him. Nothing I've done has made you stop being mean to him and I think I know why. It isn't enough for you to try to stop being mean, you now have to start actually doing loving things to him. Starting now I want you to tell him you love him at least once a day. I want you to start telling him why you love him. I want you to start hugging him and playing with him. Because unless you start showing him that you love him he will never know. And the more you show him your love the harder it will be for you to be mean to him because you won't like the way it makes it feel anymore.

Later that night I layed in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about why this situation had gotten so bad. Then I started realizing that I needed to show her how to be loving. I am ubber loving with my other kids but, for many reasons, I find it very difficult to be loving to Cookie. It is highly probable that her treatment of Monster Man is simply another reflection of the way I treat her. Ouch! Talk about your humble parenting pie. So, I am determined to be loving towards my daughter. I am going to try the same experiment I gave her. I am going to tell her I love her before she tells me. I am going to ask her if she wants to play chess instead of telling her I don't have time. I am going to stop correcting her unless it is something serious, and even then I will count to ten first. I am going to hug her for no reason. I am going to look at her and tell her she is beautiful. I am going to tell my husband only good things about her for the rest of the year. I am going to start seeing the humor in her little quirks rather than let them make me bristle. I am going to do all of this because, frankly, if she were taken from me this moment I could not be confident in thinking that she knows how much I really love her. No child should have to wonder if their mother really loves them or is just putting up with them.

I love you Cookie, more than I will ever be able to make you understand.

Fun To Watch

Last Saturday our church had a Night At Bethlehem party and we all dressed in ancient garb. Monster Man went as a shepherd and stuffed his pockets with livestock. Here is his little act:

Next up is what happens when the Tax Collection Enforcer asks to see the Shepherd's license to sell livestock in the open market:

On the way home we drove around looking at Christmas lights. Think you have awesome Christmas lights? Check these out.

Say, "Cheese!"

AAAAAAAUUUUURRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

6 years! This makes six years that I have thrown, what I consider to be, an awesome Christmas party and in all those 6 years do you know how many pictures I have to prove its awesomeness??? NONE, ZERO, ZIP, NADA.

It was on the list, "Empty camera card and check batteries." I had it sitting there, ready and waiting to document my once a year coolness. And once again, just like every year, it wasn't until I was walking around my empty house picking up plates and half-full cups that I see it. My perfectly unused camera was just sitting there sadly gathering dust. I was so sure that I wouldn't forget this year because now I'm a blogger, and heavens knows that nothing will get you to take more pictures with a digital camera than becoming a blogger. And what better time to tell people to, "Say, 'Cheese!'" than at a cheesy nacho party?

Ah well, c'est la vie. I remember my parents throwing lots of big parties and I only remember a few that were photographed. It was a lot of fun. I was very unready this year, though, and had guests showing up before the cheese was warm and before I could change out of my grubby cooking clothes and put on some makeup. No one seemed to care and everyone helped me get things finished and out on the table. There weren't as many people here this year but it was a good thing because it gave me time to talk to most everyone more than once. People kept telling me I should sit and relax and enjoy my own party but I have a really hard time doing that. I get very nervous at parties and have learned that if I stay busy I don't freak out. Over all it was a total blast, for me, and I hope everyone else enjoyed themselves. Now, it is time to go and clean out DSSH's office which is where I was shoving, stuffing, and hiding things in that last half hour rush of cleaning =).

***Merry Christmas***

WHEW!!!

YES!!! WHEW!!! I DID IT!!!

2 pounds of chocolate pretzels
100 caramels (or somewhere around that much)
2 big ziplock bags full of cashew rocca
2 big ziplock bags full of almond rocca
Peppermint bark
Cranberry almond bark
DONE

None of it burned, or sugared, and I didn't accidentally use egg nog instead of cream in my caramels this year =). Now, all I have left to do is to mop the kitchen and dining room, clean the master bathroom, keep the kids from getting into the candy, hang up the new towels I bought in the master bathroom (first new towels in 10 years, yipee!), clean and close my computer armoire, hang the rest of the Christmas lights and garlands, set up chairs, make a parking sign, keep the kids clean, use a Mr Clean Magic eraser on EVERYTHING because my hubby invited the landlord and his wife (Thanks a lot, dssh), remember to feed my kids, finish putting away the Mt. Rushmore piles of clean laundry that are still on my couch, scrub the mysterious brown streaks and drips off my front door yet again, vacuum everything again, set up tablecloths and paper goods, make 3 different salsas, my favorite guacamole, and butter black beans, do last minute shopping, take a nap so I will be well rested (yeah right), conduct major plastic surgery on myself so that I will look like I really want to look, try on 30 different outfits and put on too much makeup because I remembered that I can't afford plastic surgery, find something clean for the kids to wear, make sure the bedrooms are presentable, put everything out, and sit and calmly wait for guests to arrive.

Think I can do it all by 6:30? Just you watch me. Hopefully I will remember to take pictures this year...

Have a great weekend everyone!

Rocca Rocca Everywhere, And Not A Bit To Spare

Mom's Almond Rocca

*This is an absolute Christmas necessity in my family. It’s only made once a year because it’s a pain to make but its ooooohhhh sooooooo good!!! Very good as gifts.

(This is for a double batch and can easily be halved)
2 cans Smokehouse Almonds (Blue Diamond is a good brand)
Chop nuts as fine or as chunky as you like (reserve half a cup and chop very fine for topping)

In a heavy pot (like a dutch oven) melt 1 pound real butter (don’t use unsalted!).
Add 2 2/3 C. white sugar, 1Tblsp light corn syrup, & 6 Tblsp. water.

Stir over meduim-high heat until it starts to boil. Then wash the sides of the pot and the stir spoon down with water on a pastry brush, eliminating any sugar crystals. Cook, stirring occasionally (frequently/occasionally and avoid scraping the sides of the pan. only scrape the bottom of pan) until it reaches the hard crack stage (300 degrees on a candy thermometer). You’ll have to stir continually after it reaches 280 degrees to keep it from scorching.

At 300 degrees turn heat off and quickly stir in nuts (again, try to avoid scraping the sides of the pan) Pour onto an ungreased cookie sheet (or two overlapped sheets of aluminum foil on your counter top) and let set for about 5 min. Then, gently sprinkle with a 12 oz. Bag of your favorite chocolate chips and let set until chips are melted and ready to spread. Spread chocolate and sprinkle with reserved nuts and let set till chocolate hardens. Then break up into desired size pieces

My extra tips;

1. Wait till it gets to just 1-2 degrees above 300 degrees before you remove from heat (I find that if you take it off too soon the Rocca is a bit chewy)
2. Don’t bother putting the candy thermometer in until the mixture turns a deep golden brown or you’ll be bothered by it for longer than necessary.
3. The best stirring spoon is a long handled, flat bottomed, wooden spoon
4. When the mixture starts to boil wear an oven mitt on your stirring hand (you will prevent many a blister this way)
5. If you cool it on Aluminum foil, loosen it from off the foil before trying to break it, otherwise it will shatter rather than break.

Cashew Rocca

this is a variation that I started making sevearl years ago and it is SO very yummy. Make rocca as stated above, only swap out the almonds and chocolate chips for cashews and white chocolate chips. ENJOY!

Christmas Candy

Today is the major candy making day. I'm scrubbing down my kitchen from top to bottom and then I will be making chocolate covered pretzels, peppermint bark, cranberry almond bark, almond rocca, cashew rocca, caramels (Oh YUM), and maybe I will make fudge (I always say maybe but I usually don't because I don't like fudge). I would post recipes but I don't have the time right now, so maybe later...

Here is my secret to making LOTS of chocolate covered pretzels without going crazy: Melt your white chocolate in the microwave or in a heavy sauce pan. Throw in a bunch of pretzels and gently stir them with a big rubber spatula until they are all coated. Now take a wooden or metal skewer and try to get it to go through as many pretzel holes as you can. Now, lift the skewer up and hold it over a sheet of wax paper. Using another skewer, slide the pretzels off one at a time. While chocolate is still wet, have kids sprinkle with holiday themed sprinkles, or drizzle dark chocolate over them. MMMMMMMMM

Santa Is Every Parent's Dream Man

Some people blame every holiday on Hallmark and the greedy toy stores. That may be true for some but I am more than willing, as a parent, to take some of the blame. The more I play this parenting game the more grateful I am for things like the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and the evening ritual of dessert. The first tooth lost in our household was Cookie's. I swear, she was willing to let those teeth rot in her mouth before she was ever going to let us pull one of them. After looking at her twisted toothy smile I couldn't take it any longer. I grabbed a wad of toilet paper, tackled her to the ground, grabbed that sucker and it popped right out. She looked at me as if I was Freddy Kruger's evil twin sister. But, the next morning, after finding the loot left under her pillow she was more than willing to bring me a wad of toilet paper the next time she had a loose one.



I was never raised expecting dessert after meals and I was going to raise my children the same, healthy way. but then I had two little boys that refused to eat vegetables. Suddenly dessert became my partner in crime as I bribed my way through pounds of broccoli and bushels of green beans.



Now, just today, Santa Claus came to my aid once again. We were cleaning devils. We cleaned everything but the kids' bedrooms which weren't that bad so I was willing to let them wait for tomorrow. Then, Monster Man, the boy who HATES to clean, tugged on my shirt and with a very worried countenance said, "But mommy, Santa is going to check if our rooms are clean. We need to clean my room." So, they are downstairs cleaning their rooms so that Santa will bring them more toys.





(I have to admit to a little lie here. Last week, at dinner time, I told the kids that I had talked to Santa and he told me that he wasn't delivering new toys to any children who weren't taking care of the toys they already had. My two oldest know that when I say Santa I mean Mom and Dad. The youngest is too young to even care what I say about anything. I didn't think about Monster Man though and he truly took it to heart. Oh well, the lie was told and I plan on riding it all the way through New Years if I can.)

Of Motes And Beams

Matt. 7: 3-5

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

Just the other day, I was about to reach over and give a tug to someone's mote when I remembered this scripture. I gave a little chuckle and thought, "Oops, better look for my beam." When I found my beam I was shocked, SHOCKED. It is the kind of shock one feels when they realize that they have gone all day with their zipper down, baby puke down their back, spinach in their teeth, and their skirt stuck in their pantyhose. Why on earth didn't someone tell me my beam was so freakin' huge??? I had to laugh because it wasn't just a beam but an elaborate domino effect. My home is in shambles, and it happened all too quick. My counters are covered in crumbs... several days worth. I have piles of trash in the corners of my kitchen and dining room. My children are all grumpy, I'm never dressed, I am not feeding anyone, and nothing else is getting done either. How did this happen? I'm not sure where, when, or even how it started but I do know that it must stop. Lets start with the morning domino (even though I know it isn't the domino that started it all). I have completely stopped doing my awesome SMART Habit Saturdays so I am not jumping out of bed. The bed isn't getting made so the room isn't getting cleaned, so the laundry isn't getting in the hamper and the laundry room, so I'm out of pants and underwear, so I don't shower, so I feel down and decide to blog before starting my usual morning routines, so the kids aren't doing their chores, so the kitchen is still dirty when it is time to make lunch, so I don't make lunch, so the kids feed themselves and make a bigger mess, so I half heartedly ask them to do chores, but I'm so behind in my own chores that I don't have time to help them finish their chores, so we never finish and therefore never start our school work, so when Cookie comes home we are nowhere near ready to start our after-school chores, so by the time DSSH gets home the house is still trashed and I haven't even thought about dinner, so dinner is lame and very late, so i don't have time to read scriptures with the boys, so the kids go to bed late, so I go to bed late, so I wake up too tired to jump out of bed. There are also a gazillion other things that aren't getting done because of all of this. Quite the beam, wouldn't ya say? So this morning I jumped out of bed. the laundry is going like crazy, the dishes are washing, I know what we are having for dinner tonight, and I unplugged the TV (again) until the chores and school work are done. I know I am always blogging about my start-overs and new goals and new plans. I need all these start overs because I'm just not one of those people that is good at consistency. I guess you could say that I could build my big dream house out of all the beams I've collected through the years. The important part is that I keep trying again, right? So, here is to another beautiful day of laundry, routines, and blissful order in the home. And as for the person with the mote, I've learned that other people's motes never look as bad once my beam is removed so they can just keep 'em.

Time To Check The Fire... Again

Shiver me timbers it is cold in here. This year we are keeping the furnace off and the wood stove hot. Let me just say that I really feel for the women and men of old. We were lucky to have a big ol' pile of free wood dropped at our door this summer. All we had to do was spend an eternity piling it and cleaning it up. Back in the old days men had to go on day long trips all year long to fall trees, hitch them to cattle, drag them home, chop, stack, chop, stack, and chop some more. Women weren't able to turn up the heater anytime their little pinky toes got cold. Nope, they were up getting the fire going so as to be able to heat up the stove for breakfast. I just can't believe how much time fire tending takes. Not only must you bring in wood throughout the day, but the fire must be lit, it must be continually fed so it won't die, you have to clean up the ashes, you have to plan when best to light it for your schedule that day, and you must constantly make sure that there is a clean perimeter around the stove at all times, etc. I am used to checking things throughout the day, like the time, my email, the kids, the phone messages, but it is hard for me to remember the fire and I often forget it until my toes start freezing and the fire is already out. I'm just so glad that I live in the rather temperate Pacific Northwest. I can't imagine trying to survive the windy coldness of Idaho right now (though maybe it is easier to keep a house warm in dry cold rather than the wet cold we have here). So, even though I know of no one that would need this and it will probably sound more like whining, here is a list of what I've learned from using my wood stove:

1. Construction not only uses a lot of wood, but wastes a lot of wood. The neighbor that gave us the huge pile of construction scraps said that if people don't take it to burn it goes in the landfill (Why don't they chip it and give it to landscape companies?)

2. Don't forget to bring in a pile of wood before you go to bed because the last thing you want to do in the very early morning is run out in your bathrobe and coat to get a load of wood while praying that the neighbors don't see you.

3. The first 1 1/2 stove fulls of wood don't heat your home, they heat the stove so that the stove can eventually start heating your home.

4. Kids love to sit by the fire and then roll on the floor pretending they are actually on fire.

5. If you are OCD about checking your doors, windows, lights, and kids before going to bed you shouldn't use a wood stove to heat the house. My bedtime checking routine is ridiculous. I have even turned back home, halfway to the library, because, even though I new I had checked it, I couldn't remember what I saw or did when I had checked the fire before leaving. (I'm not clinically OCD but I annoy myself many times with my "tendencies")

6. Kids may logically know not to play near the fire but it won't stop them from melting plastic toys against the stove just to see what will happen (Surprisingly it was NOT Monster Man who did this... and did it repeatedly. But I will protect the identity of the heavily-lectured-to child)

7. Don't carry superwoman sized loads of wood into the house when you are pregnant. Having sciatic nerve spasms are not fun for anyone when mom is shrieking in pain every now and then. Don't worry, I've learned my lesson.

8. Using a wood stove to heat your house can suddenly change your whole outlook on the usual post Christmas pile of cardboard boxes. Cardboard is great for starting fires.

9. PRIME YOUR FLU. If the fire has been out long enough for the chimney to get cold it causes air to come from the outside in. So, when you light a fire the initial smoke will just pour into your house, giving everything that lovely just-came-home-from-camping smell. To prevent this you have to light a bunch of newspaper right up close to the chimney opening. This also means that I end up with soot on my arms and hands and must wash before I touch anything.

10. Don't get competitive with your husband over who lights the better fire because one day you will be in a rush and will light the kind of fire you are always preaching against and you will have to eat your own crow.

11. The trick to good wood stove usage is to maintain a constant, steady heat. If you pile the wood stove super full to try and reduce the amount of feedings you have to give it all you will do is waste wood, over heat the house for a small amount of time, and it will also burn up fast without leaving coals so you will most likely have to start the fire again.

12. If you smell smoke, don't wait till your hubby smells it too, run and check it out. We had a smoldering coal in a cold stove and it was filling our entire basement with nasty smelling smoke.

13. Keep baby blankets piled in the same room as the wood stove. These will be needed for performing the smoke detector dance whenever someone doesn't properly heat up the flu (or for situations like the one above). My kids know their stations and their jobs. It makes me glad I have so many of them (kids) because we have a lot of smoke detectors.

A Christmas Play

Here is the play that I wrote for our co-op to perform this year. I had to write one myself because I couldn't find one that I liked and that fit the number and type of children we have in our group. I like the way this play is set up because the lines of the Elves can be changed, mixed, cut, and combined without it affecting the main story, so it is adaptable to different sized groups. And the lines for Santa, when he is handing out the ornaments, can be written on a paper inside the box, making it easier for him to remember so many lines. Sadly, I procrastinated getting it written so basically the kids only have two weeks to learn it, practice it, and perform it. Wish us luck =). Oh, and it has been 13 years since I took drama calsses so my stage writing is probably all wrong.

The Greatest Gift Of All

Characters:
Santa
Jingle
Jangle
Grumpy
Snowflake
Elf #1
Elf #2
Elf #3
Elf #4
Elf #5
Elf #6
Elf #7
Elf #8
Stage set up: Left Stage: Everyone but Santa, Grumpy, and Jangle are on stage. Elves are sitting at tables working on toys. Jingle is walking around with a clip board checking the elves’ work and taking notes. Center Stage: A large, empty chair sits waiting to be filled by Santa. Right Stage: An empty Christmas tree.

Enter Jangle and Grumpy

Everyone: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Jangle: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. (Turning to Grumpy) Why don’t you ever say Merry Christmas?
Grumpy: “Why should I? It’s just another day like any other.”
Elf #1: Hurry, hurry, it’s almost time!
Elf #2: Almost time?
Elf #1: Yes. Almost time.
Grumpy: Aw, what’s the rush? Santa doesn’t leave ‘till midnight.
Elf #3: Doesn’t he know?
Elf #4: Yes, doesn’t he know?
Elf #5: No, he’s new this year.
Everyone: Ooooohhh.
Jangle: (turning to Grumpy) Every year before Santa leaves, he helps us open the Greatest Gift Of All.
Grumpy: So, what’s the big deal? We make presents all year long. What makes one more gift so special?
Jangle: You’ll see.
Elf #8: (Standing, shouts) Everyone, everyone, here comes Santa!
Everyone: YAY! (everyone cheers and claps)
Santa: (enters and goes to sit in his chair) Alright, alright. I know you are all excited. Jingle, will you please bring me The Greatest Gift Of All?
Jingle: (Saluting) Right away, Santa! (Goes to get the big present from under the tree) Here you go, Santa.
Santa: Thank you. Gather round everyone.
(Everyone sits to stage left of Santa and faces him)
Elf #3: (turning to one of the elves next to him) Oh boy, I can’t wait!
Elf #5: This is my favorite part of Christmas
Snowflake: SHHHHH, it’s time to listen
Santa: A long time ago, before there was Christmas, and before there was me, there was a baby.
Grumpy: The greatest gift of all is a doll? We make dolls everyday. Some that sleep, some that cry, some that even wet their pants. What’s so great about…
Snowflake: (Standing and turning to grumpy) SHHHH
Elf #5: He’s not a doll!
Snowflake: Shhhhh
Elf #1: He was the most amazing baby ever.
Snowflake: Shhh, let Santa tell about him.
Santa: Thank you, Snowflake. As I was saying, there was a baby, the most amazing baby ever born on earth. And it was this baby who gave us the Greatest Gift Of All.
Elf #6: It isn’t toys.
Elf #7: And it isn’t gold.
Santa: It isn’t anything that could be made, bought, or sold. Jingle, do you remember what the Gift is?
Jingle: (Standing and facing the audience) The Greatest Gift Of All is His life.
Santa: Yes, and his was the Greatest Life Of All. (taking a star out of the box) He chose to come to earth knowing that his life would be very hard.
Jingle: (Takes the star and hangs it on the top of the tree)
Santa: (Taking a crown ornament out of the box) Though he had the blood of kings running through his veins he was poor and wandered the earth teaching.
Elves #1 and 2: (Take crowns and hang on tree)
Santa: (Taking Candy Canes out of the box) He cares for all of us the way a shepherd cares for even the littlest of his flock.
Elves #3 and 4: (hang Candy Canes on the Tree)
Santa: (Taking fish ornament out of his box) He not only fed the multitudes food but he fed us the eternal words of our Heavenly Father.
Elf #5 and Snowflake: (Take fish and hang on tree)
Santa: (Taking red crosses from the box) He healed many people from their pains and afflictions and He gives this same power to his disciples that they may heal in his name.
Elf #6 and 7: Take red crosses and hang on tree.
Santa: (Taking the red tinsel from the box) He bled for our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane, that we might be able to repent.
Elf #8 and Jangle: (Take tinsel and hang on tree)
Santa: (Taking the cross and tomb ornament from the box) And then he allowed men to take his life so that he could be resurrected, thus allowing us to be resurrected after death too.
Grumpy: (Taking the cross and reverently hanging it on the tree. Turning to sit, wiping a small tear away)
Jangle: (To Grumpy when he is about to sit down) What so you think about the Greatest Gift Of All, now?
Grumpy: I’ve never…it’s… Oh, wow! I can’t believe that he would do all of that for me. What was his name? He should have a special day every year dedicated just to him. (Turning to Santa) Oh, what was he called?
Santa: His name is Jesus Christ, and Christmas is his day.

Everyone: (Standing and turning to audience with a big smile) MERRY CHRISTMAS!

If You Can't Say Anything Nice...

My kids are awesome. They are. I think that because I am around only them most of the time it is easy to pick out their faults and to be annoyed by any small thing they do. All it takes, though, is to be around someone else's kids for just a few minutes for me to realize how much I like my kids. And I'm sure others feel the same way about their kids after only spending 5 minutes around me and mine. Why is it so easy to complain? Whenever I catch myself complaining I feel so ashamed. I have NOTHING to complain about but yet I still do. Here is my self-psycho-analysis:

1. Complaining gives a person a feeling of valiant worth. "If things weren't so bad, I wouldn't be so amazing for dealing with them."

2. Complaining garners recognition from others. "If I make it look easy no one ever says thank you. If I complain a little then they will notice me."

3. Complaining gives a person something to talk about. We are susceptible to the journalistic theory that if it isn't awful no one will be interested. So, if we don't have anything interesting to talk about we can complain and start a sympathy conversation.

4. Complaining is a cover for laziness. "I was so lazy and now the house is a mess. I'd better start complaining so that my husband will think that it isn't because I'm lazy, but because my job is so hard." I hate when I do this because, basically, it is lying.

Here is how I'm trying to fight the complaining monster in my life.

1. I remember hearing on public radio that the best musicians are the ones who can make difficult pieces look easy. So, the best mother/wife/woman should make it look easy.

2. If no one ever says thank you then I should tell them that I would like to hear them say thank you. Sometimes people feel gratitude and just forget to express it.

3. If I don't have anything to talk about then I need to start doing something in my life worth talking about. Read a book, watch a movie, meet a new person, learn something new.

4. The only way to stop a lie is tell the truth as soon as you open your mouth. If I've been lazy I now tell my husband as soon as he walks through the door. I should never make my kids look bad, or my life look unpleasant, just because I wanted to take a day off. People will understand.

I really do have an awesome life and it only makes me look bad when I am foolish enough to complain about my blessings.

Picture Time

It is time to empty my camera and I'm sick of waiting for DSSH to do it for me so here is my first time getting pictures from my camera to my computer all by myself (don't make fun of me. I CHOOSE to be technologically ignorant. I fix the plumbing, DSSH is supposed to do the computer stuff).

This clip shows all too well why I call her Sweet Terror. See how cute she is until she realizes that it is a certain brother (Monster Man) who is singing?

Here is DSSH helping the kids build a snowman on the most amazing day of snow we've ever had while living here in Seattle. See how big it is??? We used a gigantic sweet potato for a nose and some cups for the eyes. Sadly he disappeared the next day in the torential rainfall that lasted 3 days. Ah well, it was fun while it lasted.

My Christmas Tree. It looks crooked, and if it is I'm not going to fix it. I will explain why in my ranting post about real vs. fake Christmas trees later. See my uber cute Mrs. Claus? She is my new favorite ornament. She and the little santa up in the corner there both belonged to my grandma. I remember them on her tree and I remember her everytime I look at them. I actually have a lot of her ornaments because most of my siblings thought they were ugly. Lucky for me =).

Resistance is Futile

My first introduction with blogging was when I read an article about the thousands of dollars that could be made just by sitting at home and writing about what you love. Sounded awesome. I tried to set up a blog, already dreaming of the millions I'd be making, but couldn't figure out how to get it up and running. Then a good friend kept telling me I needed to be an advice columnist so I thought I would set up a blog for that. After 5 failed attempts at getting those blogs up and running I finally called my buddy, Lucy, to come over and help me figure out the mysteries of the blog generators. Lucy, unsatisfied with the very impersonal advice blog, kept pestering, uh... I mean encouraging me, to set up a personal blog. I would smile and and politely say that it just wasn't my thing. After awhile, though, I finally decided to give personal blogging a try. Just like I'm always telling my kids at the dinner table, I tried it and I liked it. Once converted I set out to get recruits of my own, like a pyramid scheme. I've been bugging my amazing Super Sister for months now to set up a blog and FINALLY she has been suckered into this thing. If you get some time today stop by her new blog and say hi. I'm so excited to see what she does with it.

Here is her web site for Classical Education

Cheese, Please.

Here it is: #6. Make some silly pic on the computer that somehow involves a tortilla chip. (By the way, this is the only thing I got done on my crazy to do list. But we have already had the tree tipped over and spent more than 4 hours troubling over our half working strands of Christmas lights so I think I'm still on track with the holiday festivities)

I'm pretty proud of my silly tortilla pics, considering the fact that I made them in Paint. I really wish I had a photo shop program. Here are the pics I made for Christmases past:


The Vance's Cheesy Christmas Nacho Party has been an annual tradition of ours for 5 years now. It is my version of the Christmas goodie plate. Instead of taking plates of goodies to people we just invite everyone to our place and feed them here. We serve an all-you-can-eat super nacho bar with all sorts of yummy toppings and LOTS of nacho cheese. I make all my Christmas candies and leave them in bowls around the house for people to nibble on. We pack the house with all our friends (it is pretty much the only time when DSSH's world of friends and my world of friends comingle). It is a ton of fun. The best part about it is that it is non traditional, so I don't have any rules to follow. We make a big point about the fact that it is a cheesy party in every way. My Christmas decorations are cheesy, my party planning is cheesy, my paper plates are cheesy, nothing Martha Stewarty to be found any where. Ahhh, I love it.

December 1st

This is why I love blogging. If I had written my last two posts in my regular diary they would have just sat there on the page, staring back at me in total silence. I write them on my blog, however, and I have many voices commiserating with me, giving me kind advice, celebrating with me, and making me feel deliciously normal. Thanks to everyone who leaves a kind word!!!

HAPPY DECEMBER 1st: Let the jolly madness begin.

1. Super clean the living room so we can cover it in Christmas stuff.

2. Pull out the BIG box of Christmas decorations.
3. Hammer lots of holes in my walls to hang up lots of red and green things.
4. Start Christmas cards.... NOW! Go go go! Write lovely personal notes in each one till your fingers fall off.
5. Find some nonexistent free space in the home that the kids don't know about to hide all the presents in.
6. Make some silly pic on the computer that somehow involves a tortilla chip (more on that later)
7. STOP buying ANYTHING from fabric or craft stores RIGHT NOW. If I haven't made it by now it will never happen so don't waste the money.
8. Write another Christmas card. Don't forget to apologize for still not having a family photo to send this year.
9. Make and ship cinnamon rolls to Grandpa.
10. Try to find something festive to wear that will make me feel sexy and smokin' hot and that fits my big-enough-to-be-putting-on-lots-of-weight-but-not-big-enough-to-look-pregnant-body.

BUT, before I do anything today, before I allow myself to be sucked in by my own ideas of holiday must-dos, I am going here:

Many people wish for peace on earth at this time of year. I feel so blessed that I know where to find it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS