1. Decorate your home with large, beautiful baskets so that when unexpected company comes over you can quickly stash and hide all the toys, junk, piles, socks, etc.
2. Keep cookie dough in your freezer AT ALL TIMES.
3. Don't EVER allow your husband to buy you a wonderfully thick, nice, fluffy bathrobe. Who wants to wear clothes when you can wear a cloud all day?
4. Make code names for all your children so that you can talk about them without them getting embarrassed (and change the code names often).
5. Don't let your children listen to any radio station other than the one you love. They will think you are all knowing because you know all the words to every song that comes on.
6. Never run out of cold cereal. Children can survive the momentary loss of a mother (think books, movies, phone conversations, and the random sporadic nap) if there is cold cereal in the house.
7. Puke bowls and towels. Know how to use them. If you can have fire drills you can have puke drills.
8. Keep wet wipes on hand at all times and in all places till the day you die.
9. Never compare yourself to other mothers unless you know you will win.
10. Accept that children will make guns out of innocent blocks and their own fingers. Don't try to fight it, just get really good at playing dead.