Zoom! Pow! Crash! Zing!
Faster than a speeding bullet, using her sonic-boom voice, zapping everyone with her laser beam eyes, Wonder Woman is on the scene. She grabs one villain by the straps of his overalls, lifting him into the air with one hand, while at the same time extending her stiletto heeled boot to prevent another from running past her. Then she goes in for the kill, lassoing the leader with her rope of truth and asks, "What the heck is going on down here? I asked you guys to watch Dora just one more time with your sister so I could take a shower. Is that too much to ask? How am I supposed to fight crime and save the world today if I can't even take a little shower? Now, put the Dora DVD back in the machine and stop all this fighting!"
Super heroes are made every day by radioactive slime, the bite of a bug, random mutation, ancient/alien lineage, the possession of a powerful artifact, or by the very natural melding of genetic materials in a body which creates new life. Some scientists theorize that the combining, splitting, and specializing of atoms that happens in a woman's womb during gestation must 'cause the abnormalities or, as some like to call them, "gifts" that often manifest in the human female species after giving birth. Specialized hearing, "voice of death," rearward visual capabilities, lie detection sensory, and an uncanny ability to stop tears of others are just a handful of known post-natal abilities that we have on record.
At first governments were concerned that such unique abilities might pose a threat to regular civilians. Talks were being held to argue the need for contraceptives and sterilization methods to prevent the rampant spread of these phenomena. These measures were deemed unnecessary upon further study of the situation. It soon became obvious that these super humans came with their own set backs, a natural Kryptonite, if you will. It was found that, along with the super powers, these women also developed super inhibitors such as morbid paranoia: a fear of fatal catastrophes harming their loved ones at all times, hyperbolated guilt: an unfounded belief that self satisfaction can only be had at the cost of vital comfort to their loved ones, and bad body image: a feeling that they could never go out in public wearing the skin tight spandex that all super hero costumes are made of causing them to wear sweat pants which aren't conducive to flying or telepathic travel.
Despite these hold backs, Wonder Women everywhere continue to amaze and astound their children and husbands on a daily basis with their amazing feats of knowing it all and being able to fix almost anything.
Wonder Women, where ever you are, what ever you are doing, we salute you!
This is my last minute, bounce baby on my knee, as I type one handed entry into Scribbit's WriteAway contest. The theme is Wonder Woman. =)