Shocked

Have you just been begging for a reason to boycott Dora the Explorer, to rid your home of all things Spongey, or to reduce the time your kids spend online or watching TV? Well here is a really good reason and one you can explain to your kids. I am hereby boycotting Nickelodeon.

Click here to see why.

It isn't often I boycott things or get too riled up about issues, but this one has me steamed and willing to boycott to the hilt. I checked it out by going to nickjr.com and sure enough, down at the bottom, listed under "nickelodeon kids and family websites" you will find 5 links to addictinggames.com which is host to some very very disturbing games gear towards kids. For Nickelodeon to do this just boggles my mind. I know lots of parents who consider NickJr to be a safe site for their kids to play online. But if your kid gets curious and starts clicking on things, or hears about this cool site from a friend and goes to check it out, your child might end up playing a game where they get to imagine their teacher naked or mutilate their classmates. Not so sweet, not so educational, not so NickJr, is it?

I sent a personalized letter to Steve Youngwood, Executive Vice President, Digital, Nickelodeon kids and family group. Tomorrow I'm going to tell my kids what I told Mr. Youngwood: that until they stop supporting such a heinous site and issue a grand scale apology to all the families and children who's trust they have betrayed, that we will not be renewing our cable once we move, that from this day on my children will not be allowed to watch Nickelodeon, that all Nickelodeon sites will be blocked on our computers, and that not a single cent of ours will be spent on any Nickelodeon licensed merchandise.

I won't ask you to do the same, I just wanted to let you know this was out there because I was glad someone let me know.

What You Didn't See

What you saw: A young, skinny cub scout crying his heart out as a heartless mother walks ahead of him coldly ignoring his sobs and hiccups.

What you didn't see: A boy who spent the past three days getting angry with his mother over every little single thing she did for him. It was her fault he left his shoes out in the rain, and her fault he didn't do his homework before bedtime, and her fault that there was only green beans and no carrots for the vegetable at dinner. It was obviously her fault that the first two shirts he put on for school were stained or had holes in them, and she was cruel enough to find him a clean pair of socks 1 minute later than he wanted them. So, after days of abuse topped by an extremely bad day of little boy yelling at his mom for everything, the mom goes to pick her son up from cub scouts and (after mom has sat for 15 minutes in the parking lot with 3 kids and a crying baby so that he can have extra time to play with friends) interrupts his game of dodgeball (which had him crying because someone dared to hit him with a soft Nerf ball) to tell him it is time to go home... well, I'm sure you can guess his reaction. Apparently it is her fault that cub scouts ends at 8:15pm on a school night with a 20 minute drive home. So this mom had a very calm but serious talking-to with this young boy and the boy didn't like it. Mom basically says, "You keep apologizing to me for the things you say and do to me. From now on I don't want your apologies, I just want to see you change!" And then the sobbing started.

What you also didn't see the next day (and following 3 days): A son who has been very respectful, loving, and helpful. I've seen him tense up in anger, catch himself, take a breath, and choose a better way to deal. Sometimes parenting means making your child cry and looking bad in front of others, but sometimes it's what a child needs to realize that they can be a better person.

So, to the person who saw my boy crying and gave me a look that said, "Why aren't you comforting your little guy? What kind of mother are you?" I just want to say that you didn't see everything.

Ah ha!

Michal from Relishing Motherhood is having a writing contest. She has graciously extended the due date for procrastinators like me (though I think childbirth is a purty good excuse to use this time).

The Topic: An Ah-ha Moment of Motherhood. Tell about a time when something really clicked for you and you saw motherhood in a new way. Or when you felt enlightenment in regards to your role as a mother or how you should handle a situation in your family. Or when you had an epiphany about your own mother.

Calling On Mom

"Hi, mom? It's Liz. I'm just calling to, once again, apologize. Remember all the times I complained about the haircuts you gave the boys when we were little? Yeah, I always just assumed you didn't know what hair was supposed to look like. Now I know that the "concentration camp" haircut is the only kind you can give a squirming 3 year old boy. I'm sorry!"

"Hi, mom, it's me again. You were SO right. Life isn't fair, and it never can be no matter how hard I try. I was sure that I could prove you wrong when it was my turn to be a parent. I now realize that the only thing I can give my kids is that same piece of knowledge, "Life isn't fair." Sorry, mom."

"Moooooom, she hates me! Was I this mean to you when I was six? If I was, I'm sorry."

"Mom, how did you keep the boys from killing each other, or keep yourself from killing them?"

"MOM, HOW DID YOU DO THIS WITHOUT GOING COMPLETELY INSANE???"

As a child I dismissed much of my mother's actions as those of the bizarre alien race of "parents." I figured she just didn't understand kids and so I tried to be patient with her. As a teen I learned that mom was good at listening to my problems but was annoyed that she never seemed to have the "right" solution. When I first moved away from home I considered myself as finally being free from her silliness. I could now rise above my mother and show her how life was supposed to be lived. Even in the early years of marriage I considered myself wiser and smarter than my mom, secretly hoping she was watching my good example. Yes, I was vain, vain and stupid. But then a funny thing happened. I had kids.

Now I constantly seek out my mother's holy wisdom. I am forever asking forgiveness for the vain ideas of my naive past. Suddenly my mother is my anchor, my guide, and my friend in this twisted world called parenting. Now I realize that I am doomed to seem silly, stupid, irrational, and useless to my children for many years. I understand now that my only hope to see true respect in their eyes is to wait for them to have children of their own. When they do I will wait by the phone for that wonderful day when they call to say, "Mom, you were right," to say, "I'm sorry," or call to ask me for help. Until then, I'll just call my mommy, because she understands.