No Turning Back
Oh great, Patti is going to be sick. She better not barf. I can't believe she still won't give me the window seat, she isn't even going to look out. She looks green.
"Ha ha ha ha, hey girl, your friend looks like she is going to puke! Ha ha ha!"
Stupid drunk man, why doesn't his wife make him shut up? Oops, maybe he is handicapped, or on a special medication. Still, that lady should tell him to stop laughing at us, it isn't Patti's fault she is sick.
"Lizzy, I'm going to be sitting back here with your dad and Bugga. Can you help Ben with Joseph?"
"Sure mom. Joseph, buckle up. Hey, Ben, wanna trade seats? I want to sit near the window."
Ben takes one look at Patti, another out his window, and quickly shakes his head. Darn! Anna has her earphones on and I swear she isn't looking at me on purpose.
"Ha ha ha! Haven't you ever flown on a plane before?
I put my head back and close my eyes, trying to ignore everything around me. I'll just ignore Patti, and that stupid laughing man. I'll ignore the fact that we are leaving New York and all the friends I've made. I'll just ignore the fact that dad is getting worse and that I'm worried about him making this flight. If I just close my eyes none of this will be real for just a moment. It feels so good to ignore..."
Rrrrruuummbbbbblllllleeeeeee. The plane is taking off. I continue ignoring everything, even that obnoxious man, but I open my eyes to look past Patti and out the window. Here we go! Going to Idaho, back where we started, back to family, back to an easier place for mom to be a single mother, back to the place where there is a cemetary plot, next to Grandma, waiting for dad. There will be new adventures, new friends, a new landscape, and new problems. I'm excited, scared, and numb. I always wanted to travel, but this isn't traveling, really. This is survival, and that is different. We aren't just leaving a place, or people, we are leaving a way of life, and things are never going to be the same, ever again. This is a one way ticket for our family. The trip will continue and each of us will take many different paths, but none of us can go back to where we were and ever have it be the same. Maybe if I explained all this to the laughing man he wouldn't laugh so hard...