Thursday, July 3, 2008

Ah ha!

Michal from Relishing Motherhood is having a writing contest. She has graciously extended the due date for procrastinators like me (though I think childbirth is a purty good excuse to use this time).

The Topic: An Ah-ha Moment of Motherhood. Tell about a time when something really clicked for you and you saw motherhood in a new way. Or when you felt enlightenment in regards to your role as a mother or how you should handle a situation in your family. Or when you had an epiphany about your own mother.

Calling On Mom
"Hi, mom? It's Liz. I'm just calling to, once again, apologize. Remember all the times I complained about the haircuts you gave the boys when we were little? Yeah, I always just assumed you didn't know what hair was supposed to look like. Now I know that the "concentration camp" haircut is the only kind you can give a squirming 3 year old boy. I'm sorry!"

"Hi, mom, it's me again. You were SO right. Life isn't fair, and it never can be no matter how hard I try. I was sure that I could prove you wrong when it was my turn to be a parent. I now realize that the only thing I can give my kids is that same piece of knowledge, "Life isn't fair." Sorry, mom."

"Moooooom, she hates me! Was I this mean to you when I was six? If I was, I'm sorry."

"Mom, how did you keep the boys from killing each other, or keep yourself from killing them?"

"MOM, HOW DID YOU DO THIS WITHOUT GOING COMPLETELY INSANE???"

As a child I dismissed much of my mother's actions as those of the bizarre alien race of "parents." I figured she just didn't understand kids and so I tried to be patient with her. As a teen I learned that mom was good at listening to my problems but was annoyed that she never seemed to have the "right" solution. When I first moved away from home I considered myself as finally being free from her silliness. I could now rise above my mother and show her how life was supposed to be lived. Even in the early years of marriage I considered myself wiser and smarter than my mom, secretly hoping she was watching my good example. Yes, I was vain, vain and stupid. But then a funny thing happened. I had kids.

Now I constantly seek out my mother's holy wisdom. I am forever asking forgiveness for the vain ideas of my naive past. Suddenly my mother is my anchor, my guide, and my friend in this twisted world called parenting. Now I realize that I am doomed to seem silly, stupid, irrational, and useless to my children for many years. I understand now that my only hope to see true respect in their eyes is to wait for them to have children of their own. When they do I will wait by the phone for that wonderful day when they call to say, "Mom, you were right," to say, "I'm sorry," or call to ask me for help. Until then, I'll just call my mommy, because she understands.

13 comments:

manager mom said...

Someday, I am thinking our kids will grow up and read our blogs, and be SHOCKED that we were real people with actual thoughts and feelings and stuff like that.

It will either be a very cool or very uncomfortable day when they do.

Sam said...

What a lovely post! It all begins to make sense when you mother your own children and begin to realise that perhaps your Mother was right!

After all, isn't the saying "Mother knows best"!! ;-)

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Thanks, I needed this.

Tirzah said...

This is an awesome post! It is amazing what we all think when we're young!

Amy Y said...

I hear you, Mama. I thought I was super mom and was going to do everything better than my mom did. Now I know that if I turn out to be half as good a mom as she was, I'll have something to be proud of!

Magirk said...

Sheesh, girl. I can't stop crying!

I sooooo identify with this post.

Having struggles with a 4yo Princess. Enough said??

Thanks for writing this, and sharing it.

Hope you and baby, and ALL of you, are doing well!

Shimmy Mom said...

I think we all have that Ah Ha moment at times in parenthood.

An Ordinary Mom said...

You definitely captured the life cycle of parenting very well!

P.S. At some point I want to hear about your labor and delivery :) !!

Amber said...

A great post! My relationship with my mom is unique in that my entire adult life, I have mothered her more than she has me. While I never go to her for advice, just having her around is so important!

Sonja said...

Dang! You hit it right on the nail.

again.

And right after giving birth too.

sheesh.

Michal said...

i am impressed that you are functioning at such a high level. i have to check out from the world when i have a baby.
i loved this ah-ha moment. it's good to remember that some day our kids will appreciate all that we've done for them, just like we now do for our moms.
wonderfully expressed.

Prudy said...

I'm amazed that you're still truckin' after just having had that adorable baby boy! You must be Mother Earth.

LaDonnaMobile said...

Amen, Sister! A fitting tribute to the mom we *thought* was always wrong!