Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Jam In My Pockets

For some people it is ketchup packets, for others it is little bottles of shampoo. Have you ever swiped a little something or other from a hotel or restaurant that was complimentary... but it still felt like stealing? I knew a guy who used to get his kicks from swiping the toilet paper rolls from public restrooms. He said it was offered and he took it. I say it is only offered for immediate use and outside of that immediate use it is "swiping" and it is morally wrong. WRONG, I TELL YOU, WRONG!!!

Well, I'm a bad, bad girl because I totally swiped myself some jam the other day. I had the audacity to ask my sticky lipsticked waitress for more jam (after using all that was on the table) just so I could stuff my pockets. I couldn't help it. I was unprepared for its yumminess, it was so swipeable, and... and... and I really wanted to enjoy it on my toast today. Why would I do something so obviously sinful? Why would I risk the fate of my very soul for a couple single serving packets of jam? Because, this was no ordinary, rubbery, tasteless gelatinous brick of single serving jelly. No, this was (DUN DUN DUN) freezer jam. Yes, at The Family Pancake House amid all the coffee cups and old people you can find the bright, sweet, fresh taste of heaven that is freezer jam. Oh sweet goodness. And as I sit here licking my jam dabbled lips I can't help but think that my soul wouldn't have it any other way.

(I didn't really stuff my pockets. I just brought home these three so that I could blog about it. Blogging has apparently turned me to the Dark Side.)

22 comments:

sariqd said...

I'm not confessing to anything... but have you tried the blackberry? Oooh my!

Becky said...

Oh, I am so with you. Freezer jam gets me every time. It is heaven. My husband's grandma makes it, so every time we go to their house, I scarf down too many pieces of jam-laden bread. Then last summer she taught me how to make it, so my freezer was packed with it for a full...four months. Yes. We went through 24 cartons of freezer jam in four months. For my birthday, Grandma gave me some raspberry freezer jam (best yet), which I just used up (I always saved it for special occasions), and recently, a friend gave my husband some boisenberry freezer jam as a thank you for the work he did on her house (but she also paid him). I just lathered my toast with that boisenberry jam this morning and thought to myself, "I must make more freezer jam...I must make more freezer jam...I must make more freezer jam..." I'm addicted.

Packer Family said...

your post made me crave toast with jam (pregnacy cravings are the best) I couldn't find the Jam so I called Nate and he said he ate the last of it the other day!!!! I'm so sad!

Jen said...

Naughty!

I have never done this, but I had roommates who would raid the MCDonalds bathroom for TP before they would buy their own, grrrr..

In some countries you have to buy the TP, and when we were on a trip last year to New Orleans, there were places that would charge $2 to use the bathroom.

Leslie said...

Yuh - um!!! I love freezer jam! We had such good cheap strawberries this summer that I actually made my own for the first time this year! I always used to make cooked jam...which is hot, sticky, time consuming and in the end...simply delicious...but I now have a new obsession in strawberry freezer jam. The best party...quick...easy...still simply delicious!!!

scrap chair potato said...

That is funny. Looks yummy!
My husband was on a business trip staying in a very nice hotel in Vegas. He asked the woman cleaning the room where he could buy one of the nice terry cloth robes they had in the rooms. She said, "You take that one, I will put a new one in your room."
I love my new robe! :)

Awesome Mom said...

Wow you really are a hardcore blogger! Facing jail time just so you can blog about sealing something.

I heart freezer jam! It is so worth the guilt of stealing.

Magirk said...

Oooooh, I love freezer jam!

I probably would have done the same thing, if we didn't already have more than a year's supply in our freezer already.

Whew! I'm saved. At least, on that one point....

rabbitofinle said...

ha! I was at PJ's BBQ the other day, and I SO wanted to swipe all of the handi-wipes. The action was inspired by the fact that we waited for a half an hour (we were sitting inside). But my partner kindly told me that I may use one after my BBQ, but that was it.
Oh well... I'm sure I'll come across a time again where I can swipe something like jam, ketchup, sugar, or HANDI-WIPES :)

Michal said...

freezer jam is one big reason that i feel put upon for having gone a full year without an extra freezer in our garage. i just don't have room in the kitchen freezer for everything i want and need. unfortunately, i have also had to cut out ice cream from time to time when a spectacular meat sale was on!:)
if i happen to be in a restaurant that has knotts berry farm boysenberry, i will confess that i have been known to throw a couple in my purse. boysenberry jam is the best on earth.

Sam said...

My Dad totally does this!! It drives us all batty - the silly thing is that the stuff that gets swiped rarely gets used!! It just ends up hanging around the house until Mum throws it away!!

It's usually nothing more than sugar packets or jam pots and stuff like that, but it really winds us all up!!

Amber M. said...

I see you in a whole...new...brighter...light now! I've never swiped anything like this before, but I just might if I ever found something worth swiping.

Richelle said...

That is funny! It sounds delicious, though.
I always ask for more breadsticks at Olive Garden after I am done eating, just so I can bring some home, does that count?

CC said...

Uh oh! soon you'll be wearing a black mask and saying "I am your father...." :)

An Ordinary Mom said...

It is often said that blogging changes a person :) !!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

True Confession time? I totally swipe the wooden stir sticks from Starbucks for home eyebrow waxing. I do.

We can visit each other in hell. We'll have jam toast and shapely brows.

Tirzah said...

Welcome to the dark side, baby!

Now I am craving warm homemade bread with my MIL's freezer jam! MMmmm!

Caffienated Cowgirl said...

LOL...and I didn't walk out of a French hotel with a mini Nutella packet in my purse...nope, no siree :)

Pennies In My Pocket said...

ROTFL this is hilarious. I've totally taken the little tabasco bottles that come with room service because I think they are just so adorable and plus, once they are open they will just throw them out anyway. lol My mom takes stuff all the time from hotels. I can't tell you how many shampoo, conditioner and lotion bottles she has from places she's been. Oh and she takes extra napkins ALL the time. I swear she never needs to buy them! lol

Just wandered onto your blog from another one...don't ask me which one cuz I can't remember. lol FUN blog you got here!

~melody~

The Lazy Organizer said...

Well you are half way to repentance now that you have confessed. Forsaking might be the hard part in this case. I'll pray for you.

My friend gave me a jar of freezer jam a couple months ago and I'll tell you I'm ready to break into her house to get more. It seems easier than learning to make my own.

Sarah said...

mmm, freezer jam...I wonder if they sell it online?

elena jane said...

i have never heard of this, it sounds amazingly decadent.
in nashville i snitched a small glass tub of dickinson's strawberry jam like the ones my mom always had. the jam was divine...