Super Easy Stockings

I love the first week in January because all the Christmas stuff is super cheap at 75% off. Now is a great time to buy pretty Christmas placemats for making super easy stockings. I bought each of these placemats for $1.25 or less, which comes out to $2.50 or less for each stocking. Booya!


On the back of one placemat draw out the stocking shape you want, trying to get as much stocking as you can from the material. Then trace around that shape again giving yourself anywhere from 1/4 to 1/2 an inch for a seam allowance. (I try to get 1/2 inch because I'm not very good with a sewing machine). I also make the top 2 inches of my stocking a bit wider so as to give enough room for a folded cuff.


Now use that first stocking cutout as a template for the rest of your placemats. Now comes the only tricky part to this. In order to make the top cuff of your stocking (and you don't have to have a cuff if you don't want to, or you could even add your own fancy cuff if you are so talented, but I'm not) you need to:
1: Put two stocking shapes together with the right sides facing (make it look inside out). Then, starting 3 inches, or so, from the top, sew around the edge of your stocking and stop 3 inches, or so, from the top on the other side.
2: Turn stocking right side out. Now, sew up both sides of the stocking top. Does that make sense?

See, here I've sewn most of the stocking, turned it rightside out, and am finishing up the top.

See? On the green one I made the mistake of only sewing the cuff part inside out. With the cream one I was smarter and added an extra inch to that insideout seam.

The reason for adding that extra inch is so that the raw edges on the inside aren't so near the top (which makes them visible and sloppy looking). See?

And here they are, all finished. Now I will use a stencil and some gold craft paint to personalize each one. Another reason I like using placemats is that most of them have some sort of interfacing inside them which makes them rather sturdy. I didn't add any loops to hang them from because we rarely have a fireplace and usually just prop them up on the couch, but I'm sure you could easily add a loop before sewing it together.

Or you could just buy the premade pretty stockings on super clearance. But what fun would that be?

400

This is my 400th post. To celebrate I'm going to get caught up with all the things I meant to post this month and didn't (because I was too busy watching every episode of Dr Who that I could possibly get my hands on).
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First up is what would have gone in our Christmas cards this year... that is IF I had ever gotten around to putting them together and getting them sent. I'm putting all the blame for my inabilities on Cheeks this year. Yup, when in a fix, always blame the baby. =)

(It only took 17 tries to get this lovely photo. Mr. Hotness didn't want me to use it because he says it is customary for the wife to be sitting. I told him he didn't get a customary wife and I would likely kill my children if we tried to take one more photo.)

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Merry Christmas!.

Another year, another baby, another bunch of Ice Cream craziness. We’ve enjoyed a year of good health, a little wealth, too much food, and lots of fun. Now, with the buyout of Mr. Hotness' bank (Washington Mutual), we are looking forward to a new adventure. Mr, Hot will be staying with the bank till the end of April 2009 as he helps with the transition. After that... who knows, we might just end up knocking on your door, asking for a place to stay. =) No worries, though, we feel fine and prepared for whatever the New Year brings. And now on to the semi-speedy family update:
Mr Hotness has been learning all about Mozart this year and is fascinated with the idea of child prodigies. And he should be, seeing as how we expect all of our children to be prodigious.
Liz would be busy getting her degree, practicing her art, working on her abs of steel, and writing her own homeschool science curriculum if she weren’t so busy being a human wash rag. All bodily functions aside she is absolutely enjoying her new baby boy and trying to savor all the little giggles and delicious baby fat before they disappear for good.
Cookie is now old enough that she has asked me to call her by her real name when we are around her friends but is still sweet enough to forgive me each time I forget.
Pablo has found a passion for comic book writing and furiously doodles in his notebooks all day.
Monster Man has learned to channel his intense strength and energy to good things and is becoming my little knight in shining armor. He loves to open doors for me and is a super big brother to Sariah and Aaron.
Sweet Terror…. *sigh* What can I say? She is the most animated and entertaining spoiled brat I’ve ever known. We would have disowned her long ago if she weren’t so stinking adorable.
Cheeks is a super pukey, drooly, cutie pie.
And, th-th-th-that’s all, folks! We sincerely hope this finds you healthy, happy, and full of love this Christmas season.

Love the Ice Cream Gang

Here is the apron Cookie painted for her teacher. She was so sad that she couldn't get it to him in time for Christmas but they missed the last 1/2 week of school due to snow closures.



I'm very proud of myself for letting her do it all herself and not being a boss-hog like I wanted to be. She did a great job.

I got a little carried away with the pipe cleaners. *blush*

We made cookies

We put some on plates to give to our neighbors but Sweet Terror ate them for breakfast before we could deliver them. Sorry, neighbors!

This is the very first year where I let the kids decorate the entire tree themselves and haven't rearranged it. There are empty spots and all the stars are on one side of the tree and the glass balls are all hanging from the bottom branches and you know what? Christmas will still come and the world will keep turning.

This is also the first year where we have put up so many lights on the outside of our house. I love it!

3 words people: Truth in advertising!

We have snow!!! And not the usual inch or two that melts the next day. We actually have lots and lots of snow and it is staying!

We also have piles of wet coats, mittens, pants and shoes scattered all over the mud room.

And we have lots of kids screaming because apparently snowball fights are never very fair.

Merry Christmas everyone! See you after the New Year.

Pipe Cleaner Fun

I love pipe cleaners. Anytime I want a little peace and quiet from the kids I can always toss them a big package of pipe cleaners and escape to my room with the baby and a book.

Last week I spotted this fun craft idea from Bella Dia via the Crafty Crow: Tinsel Trees

Ever since first seeing the Charlie Brown Christmas Special I have been a bit obsessed with the idea of those tacky aluminum/plastic Christmas trees. Now, I get to indulge that obsession by creating millions of tiny tacky tinsel trees just for me.

Nothing says Christmas like gold and pink tinsel!

For that extra special bling at holiday parties you can always loop the stem around for an out of this world ring.

And if you get so caught up making trees that you neglect to decorate the real tree don't worry. The kids will decorate it for you. =)

Cheesy Update

Hi. Anyone still here? I hate when people just stop blogging without so much as a see you later, it makes me worry. So what do I do? Just stop blogging without so much as a see you later, of course. Do as I say, not as I do! Actually I've just been busy (as I'm sure everyone is right now) and I've been trying to avoid my internet addiction by keeping my computer off. It is working. I've been crafting and cleaning. Today I even made "Barbie" clothes (if I type it in quotes they can't sue me, can they?) out of some of Cookie's old clothes. I found a fun trick that takes out half the work and I'm taking lots of photos so I can blog about it later.

So, have you been dying to hear about the Nacho Party? We had a smaller group this year (had major invitation problems using evite and old email addresses) and lots more kids than usual but it was a very enjoyable evening. The kids practically disappeared thanks to my basement and our new classic Christmas television four disc DVD set. I took pictures of the food but the party was almost over and it was looking pretty messy so I'm not posting those.

These were my favorite decoration. Some wooden peppers I found for 25 cents at a yard sale that I dressed up with a gold paint pen. I don't think anyone even noticed them but I LOVE them.

Here is Cheeks the reindeer. Egads he is so cute!!! He sat in his high chair being an angel until he blew out his diaper in a major way. Luckily I was chopping tomatoes so Mr. Hotness had to do the honors.

Here Mr. Hotness is being spoiled with female attention by his babysitter and her two sisters.

Here I am with Lucy from An Ordinary Mom (can you tell that I photoshopped my double chin out? I call it digital plastic surgery. Sure, if I didn't say anything you wouldn't know, but then you wouldn't know the mad photo shop skills I have either. Botox=$300 Having Liz digitally fix her face for free=priceless). I also removed all the shiny spots from my face and hid my bra strap. I LOVE the digital age.

Mr. Hotness hanging out with his trusty pal, Jason.

My blogging buddies: 32 flavors, Shark Daddy, Lucy Van Pelt, and Lucy.

I'm not posting photos of the rest of you unless I get your permission first, but if you want me to send you the rest of the pics from that night just email me.

Well, time to get back to the sewing machine to make very very tiny fashion ensembles.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Christmas Cheese

'Tis the season for nachos and lots of cheese. And this year I am going to get pictures. Really, I am. I need proof, proof that I can get my house to look clean once a year. Proof that I'm still hip enough to party. Proof that people like me enough to eat my free food.

If you are one of my nearby friends reading this and thinking, "Hey, why didn't she invite me?" then please email me. I sent invites with evite.com and I'm not sure I had everyone's current email addresses. Hope, I know yours bounced back to me yesterday. You are invited, I promise. Please, come eat my cheese. The party is tomorrow (Friday) so I'm going to be up til midnight making Christms candies. I'm eating almond rocca as I type. Oooooh, baby, is it ever good.

The Place Where Friends Are Made

When the Build-a-Bear workshop was first spotlighted on Oprah several years ago I remember thinking, "What a cute idea. I bet a lot of suckers are going to fall for it." As good, smart, friends of mine started buying their children Build-a-Bears I would smuggly think, "SUCKER!" When my daughter first asked for a Build-a-Bear I said, "Oh, honey, they are so expensive. I think you should ask Santa for something else." But what I was really thinking was, "Not on your life, you silly little girl."

Around our house there is a plethora of unused stuffed animals. Everytime we take a load of stuff to the Deseret Industries or Goodwill there is usually a stuffed animal or two in the bag. I don't buy them, ever, but other people keep giving them to us. And, not only do we have plenty of stuffed animals, we also have garbage bags full of cute little baby clothes that we save after every baby. Basically, we have all the makings of our own Build-a-Bear workshop right here. I suggested this to my dissapointed daughter and with the look she gave me I had one of those defining, "Oh no, I've become my mother," kind of moments.

***Flashback Moment***

When I was a kid I wrote a Christmas list that plainly showed my obsession with Strawberry Shortcake. On it I had everything from a Strawberry Shortcake blanket to a tube of Strawberry Shortcake lipgloss. I figured if everything I asked for was Strawberry Shortcake, and if I gave Santa a good price range to work with, I was sure to get something that I asked for (We never had much moeny growing up so I knew that Santa needed price ranges). The next morning as I unwrapped my mother's lovingly homemade strawberry shortcake doll and homemade strawberry shortcake blanket my heart was crushed. I acted pleased and happy but my heart ached. (I still have the doll and blanket and cherish them now that I'm old enough to realize what my mother had done for me out of love). There was also the Cabbage Patch doll dreams of my sister that just couldn't be fulfilled by the lovingly handmade Cabbage Patch style doll my mom made her. Who would have thought that the simple commercial ideas of strawberry scented hair and signatured bums would mean so much to a child?

Who would have thought that a simple fabric heart, that you rub all over yourself and then never see again once they sew your bear up, would mean so much to my child? Well, after 2 1/2 years of consistently being asked for a Build-a-Bear at every birthday and Christmas I finally decided to call her bluff of, "All I want is a Build-a-Bear. I don't want any other toy but that." She didn't receive a single toy from anyone this year; instead I gave her a coupon for lunch at the mall and $40 of Grandma Christmas money to spend on a Build-a-Bear. I bit my tongue through the whole agonizing, lovely, memory making event. Keeping my mouth shut as I forked out $23 for her, her friend, and I to eat in the food court (How on earth do all those teenagers have the money to eat here everyday???) I told myself I was paying for memories. Standing in line for over and hour (NEVER go to the Biuld-a-Bear workshop on the Saturday after Christmas) I was so proud of myself for not trying to talk my daughter into getting the cheapest bear (I listened to other mothers doing what I usually do and I could hear the original joy being sucked away as each little girl had to choose between her dream bear and making her mother happy). 2 1/2 hours later we ended up with just enough money to buy the most expensive bear-cheetah available (my girl has taste) and a cute shirt and jean skirt.

Was it worth it? Did having a full body rubbed heart (seriously, you need to hear the whole cheesey heart rubbing routine they give these kids in the store. It is ridiculous), a hand picked outfit, and a cute little lint removing shower really make this stuffed cheetah any more special in the eyes of a 9 yr old girl? YOU BETCHA IT DID!!! This cheetah is like the coolest toy ever. Everyone wants to hold it. The girls take turns taking it to bed with them. DSSH gets no end of pleasure out of threatening to cut it up or throw it away while his girls chase him screaming. And, though I held my tongue so well at the cash sucking mall, I get the daily pleasure of trying to keep that $40 stuffed animal out of the toilet, off the floor, away from hot chocolate spills, and giving my daughter the constant reminder that I won't replace it if it gets lost, stolen, or ruined. *Sigh* I am my mother's daughter after all.

More On My Special Christmas Story

If you were touched by the special Christmas story I shared yesterday you can listen to it tonight on the Dave Ramsey Show. My sister sent the story in and was asked to tell it again on air via phone tonight. I am so excited that she is sharing this story with such a large audience because it truly is a story about Christ-like love and generosity. Some details I left out were the fact that the mother of this family was a single mother raising 4 children on her own. AND, not only did she help us when our dad was sick, but she ended up passing away from cancer herself not too many years later. This lovely saint's name was Sylvia Bierman and her children's last names are Smith and Ferguson. THANKS FOREVER!!!

Details: Dave Ramsey Show airs tonight on the http://www.foxbusiness.com/our-team/on-air/index.html?cid=509480&st=now

"Stink. Stank. Stunk."

I was as cuddly as a cactus, I was as charming as an eel. I had all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile. I was a total Grinch last night. It started at 8:30pm and by 10:30 I was mentally biting my husband's head off and chewing it with a side of sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich. I'm glad I kept my Grinch mouth shut but I'm sure he felt some of my laser beams melt his soul as I glared at him for daring to try to snuggle me after I had just wrapped 20 presents ALL BY MYSELF. Can you hear the martyrdom dripping from those words? Yes, I had taken the liberty of using my quiet time to watch a fun movie (Bourne Ultimatum) while the kids napped, therefore leaving me no time to wrap presents again until they went to bed in the evening. Well, just because I used my time to watch a full length movie shouldn't mean that my husband should be allowed to play a computer game (the first one he has played in weeks) to wind down after his long 10 hour day at work! Luckily I was smart enough to realize that I was overly tired and mostly wrong so I went to bed; and in my grumbling I vowed not to do anymore Christmas work after the hours of 9pm for the rest of the year! Even if all of my husband's presents have to be wrapped in plastic grocery bags on Christmas morning (just kidding). After all, Christmas doings should be done cheerfully, with joy in the heart and and a song on the lips (and with plenty of holiday goodies to munch on). So, on with the Spirit of Christmas and off with the fuzzy green Grinch hair!

In honor of my refound Christmas Spirit, here is a fun tag I got from Simple Life At Home.
1. List 12 random things about yourself that have to do with Christmas2. Please refer to it as a 'hoopla' and not the dreaded 'm'-word3. You have to specifically tag people when you're done. None of this "if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged" stuff is allowed...then nobody ends up actually doing it. The number of people who you tag is really up to you -- but the more, the merrier to get this 'hoopla' circulating through the blogosphere.4. Please try and do it as quickly as possible. The Christmas season will be over before we know it and I'd like to get as many people involved as possible.

1. I love really weird Christmas tree decorations. Among some of my favorites are a Ringo Star doll, a glittery gold boot, and my tinfoil Jesus Star that I made when I was 4.
2. I like to stay up really late on Christmas Eve and I am always the first one awake.
3. It really bothers me that I wake up before my kids do.
4. I will lie awake in bed for one and a half hours on Christmas morning and then I wake the kids up and have them wake DSSH up.
5. We carry on my parents' tradition of having dear friends over and making homemade pizza on Christmas Eve.
6. I have to watch Will Vinton's Claymation Christmas every year. This year I almost had a heart attack because it is an old VHS that my mom recorded off TV and it is starting to get fuzzy.
7. I start quoting from the movie Christmas Story as soon as the tree goes up and I don't stop until it comes back down.
8. The first bite of my mom's homemade Almond Rocca brings with it the first true feelings of Christmas for me.
9. When we were kids our parent's always had us do 12 days of Christmas drop offs to certain peoples' homes. The best part was trying to hide before the person answered their door. One year, I was 7 and my sister was 10, the snow was especially deep. My sister and I snuck up to the door, picked a tree to run to, and rang the bell. The person answered the door WAY to soon so we had to improvise. I jumped behind a bush and my sister just lept off the front porch and did a full body slam into the snow. She instantly disappeared under several feet of snow and proceeded to just lay there, face down, in the snow while the person looked around saying, "Is anybody there?" and looked all over for any sight of us. My sister rocks!
10. Growing up we had a fake Christmas tree and it had to be weighted down so that it wouldn't tip over. To secure it my dad would send us little girls down to his gun shop to get his bags of metal pellets. Those bags were H E A V Y and we had to drag them all the way upstairs. It was a test of toughness for us, though, and we loved it. Each of us gloried in the year when we were finally big enough to pick the bag up and carry it the entire way. I'm sure I will suffer some back problems when I'm older because of it.
11. My sister (same one who jumped in the snow) loved peeking in the presents. I don't think I've forgiven her yet for peeking at all of mine one year and telling me what they were. The whole point of wrapping paper is so you DON'T RUIN THE SURPRISE!!!
12. My most special Christmas was the year that my dad was very sick with cancer. We didn't have a lot of money in our family of 9, and were trying to focus on being cheerful and enjoying our time with our father so were we very surprised to wake up and see so many presents under our tree that they overflowed into the living room. As we opened each gift (and they were really nice gifts) we kept asking everyone who had done this. Mom and dad interrogated each of us but no one had any idea who had done this or even HOW they had done it. It really was as if Santa had snuck in and delivered all these wonderful things. It wasn't till many years later that my oldest sister finally confessed that she had unlocked the back door for a dear friend of ours so that he could sneak in and leave all the gifts that his family had bought for us. I'm crying now even as I type this because I don't think we've ever been able to fully thanks them for what they gave us that year. it was one of our last magical moments with our dad and it was beautiful.

If you want to participate, I'm tagging:
La Donna
Misty
and In The Life Of A Child

Fun To Watch

Last Saturday our church had a Night At Bethlehem party and we all dressed in ancient garb. Monster Man went as a shepherd and stuffed his pockets with livestock. Here is his little act:

Next up is what happens when the Tax Collection Enforcer asks to see the Shepherd's license to sell livestock in the open market:

On the way home we drove around looking at Christmas lights. Think you have awesome Christmas lights? Check these out.

WHEW!!!

YES!!! WHEW!!! I DID IT!!!

2 pounds of chocolate pretzels
100 caramels (or somewhere around that much)
2 big ziplock bags full of cashew rocca
2 big ziplock bags full of almond rocca
Peppermint bark
Cranberry almond bark
DONE

None of it burned, or sugared, and I didn't accidentally use egg nog instead of cream in my caramels this year =). Now, all I have left to do is to mop the kitchen and dining room, clean the master bathroom, keep the kids from getting into the candy, hang up the new towels I bought in the master bathroom (first new towels in 10 years, yipee!), clean and close my computer armoire, hang the rest of the Christmas lights and garlands, set up chairs, make a parking sign, keep the kids clean, use a Mr Clean Magic eraser on EVERYTHING because my hubby invited the landlord and his wife (Thanks a lot, dssh), remember to feed my kids, finish putting away the Mt. Rushmore piles of clean laundry that are still on my couch, scrub the mysterious brown streaks and drips off my front door yet again, vacuum everything again, set up tablecloths and paper goods, make 3 different salsas, my favorite guacamole, and butter black beans, do last minute shopping, take a nap so I will be well rested (yeah right), conduct major plastic surgery on myself so that I will look like I really want to look, try on 30 different outfits and put on too much makeup because I remembered that I can't afford plastic surgery, find something clean for the kids to wear, make sure the bedrooms are presentable, put everything out, and sit and calmly wait for guests to arrive.

Think I can do it all by 6:30? Just you watch me. Hopefully I will remember to take pictures this year...

Have a great weekend everyone!

Rocca Rocca Everywhere, And Not A Bit To Spare

Mom's Almond Rocca

*This is an absolute Christmas necessity in my family. It’s only made once a year because it’s a pain to make but its ooooohhhh sooooooo good!!! Very good as gifts.

(This is for a double batch and can easily be halved)
2 cans Smokehouse Almonds (Blue Diamond is a good brand)
Chop nuts as fine or as chunky as you like (reserve half a cup and chop very fine for topping)

In a heavy pot (like a dutch oven) melt 1 pound real butter (don’t use unsalted!).
Add 2 2/3 C. white sugar, 1Tblsp light corn syrup, & 6 Tblsp. water.

Stir over meduim-high heat until it starts to boil. Then wash the sides of the pot and the stir spoon down with water on a pastry brush, eliminating any sugar crystals. Cook, stirring occasionally (frequently/occasionally and avoid scraping the sides of the pan. only scrape the bottom of pan) until it reaches the hard crack stage (300 degrees on a candy thermometer). You’ll have to stir continually after it reaches 280 degrees to keep it from scorching.

At 300 degrees turn heat off and quickly stir in nuts (again, try to avoid scraping the sides of the pan) Pour onto an ungreased cookie sheet (or two overlapped sheets of aluminum foil on your counter top) and let set for about 5 min. Then, gently sprinkle with a 12 oz. Bag of your favorite chocolate chips and let set until chips are melted and ready to spread. Spread chocolate and sprinkle with reserved nuts and let set till chocolate hardens. Then break up into desired size pieces

My extra tips;

1. Wait till it gets to just 1-2 degrees above 300 degrees before you remove from heat (I find that if you take it off too soon the Rocca is a bit chewy)
2. Don’t bother putting the candy thermometer in until the mixture turns a deep golden brown or you’ll be bothered by it for longer than necessary.
3. The best stirring spoon is a long handled, flat bottomed, wooden spoon
4. When the mixture starts to boil wear an oven mitt on your stirring hand (you will prevent many a blister this way)
5. If you cool it on Aluminum foil, loosen it from off the foil before trying to break it, otherwise it will shatter rather than break.

Cashew Rocca

this is a variation that I started making sevearl years ago and it is SO very yummy. Make rocca as stated above, only swap out the almonds and chocolate chips for cashews and white chocolate chips. ENJOY!

Christmas Candy

Today is the major candy making day. I'm scrubbing down my kitchen from top to bottom and then I will be making chocolate covered pretzels, peppermint bark, cranberry almond bark, almond rocca, cashew rocca, caramels (Oh YUM), and maybe I will make fudge (I always say maybe but I usually don't because I don't like fudge). I would post recipes but I don't have the time right now, so maybe later...

Here is my secret to making LOTS of chocolate covered pretzels without going crazy: Melt your white chocolate in the microwave or in a heavy sauce pan. Throw in a bunch of pretzels and gently stir them with a big rubber spatula until they are all coated. Now take a wooden or metal skewer and try to get it to go through as many pretzel holes as you can. Now, lift the skewer up and hold it over a sheet of wax paper. Using another skewer, slide the pretzels off one at a time. While chocolate is still wet, have kids sprinkle with holiday themed sprinkles, or drizzle dark chocolate over them. MMMMMMMMM

Santa Is Every Parent's Dream Man

Some people blame every holiday on Hallmark and the greedy toy stores. That may be true for some but I am more than willing, as a parent, to take some of the blame. The more I play this parenting game the more grateful I am for things like the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and the evening ritual of dessert. The first tooth lost in our household was Cookie's. I swear, she was willing to let those teeth rot in her mouth before she was ever going to let us pull one of them. After looking at her twisted toothy smile I couldn't take it any longer. I grabbed a wad of toilet paper, tackled her to the ground, grabbed that sucker and it popped right out. She looked at me as if I was Freddy Kruger's evil twin sister. But, the next morning, after finding the loot left under her pillow she was more than willing to bring me a wad of toilet paper the next time she had a loose one.



I was never raised expecting dessert after meals and I was going to raise my children the same, healthy way. but then I had two little boys that refused to eat vegetables. Suddenly dessert became my partner in crime as I bribed my way through pounds of broccoli and bushels of green beans.



Now, just today, Santa Claus came to my aid once again. We were cleaning devils. We cleaned everything but the kids' bedrooms which weren't that bad so I was willing to let them wait for tomorrow. Then, Monster Man, the boy who HATES to clean, tugged on my shirt and with a very worried countenance said, "But mommy, Santa is going to check if our rooms are clean. We need to clean my room." So, they are downstairs cleaning their rooms so that Santa will bring them more toys.





(I have to admit to a little lie here. Last week, at dinner time, I told the kids that I had talked to Santa and he told me that he wasn't delivering new toys to any children who weren't taking care of the toys they already had. My two oldest know that when I say Santa I mean Mom and Dad. The youngest is too young to even care what I say about anything. I didn't think about Monster Man though and he truly took it to heart. Oh well, the lie was told and I plan on riding it all the way through New Years if I can.)

Cheese, Please.

Here it is: #6. Make some silly pic on the computer that somehow involves a tortilla chip. (By the way, this is the only thing I got done on my crazy to do list. But we have already had the tree tipped over and spent more than 4 hours troubling over our half working strands of Christmas lights so I think I'm still on track with the holiday festivities)

I'm pretty proud of my silly tortilla pics, considering the fact that I made them in Paint. I really wish I had a photo shop program. Here are the pics I made for Christmases past:


The Vance's Cheesy Christmas Nacho Party has been an annual tradition of ours for 5 years now. It is my version of the Christmas goodie plate. Instead of taking plates of goodies to people we just invite everyone to our place and feed them here. We serve an all-you-can-eat super nacho bar with all sorts of yummy toppings and LOTS of nacho cheese. I make all my Christmas candies and leave them in bowls around the house for people to nibble on. We pack the house with all our friends (it is pretty much the only time when DSSH's world of friends and my world of friends comingle). It is a ton of fun. The best part about it is that it is non traditional, so I don't have any rules to follow. We make a big point about the fact that it is a cheesy party in every way. My Christmas decorations are cheesy, my party planning is cheesy, my paper plates are cheesy, nothing Martha Stewarty to be found any where. Ahhh, I love it.

December 1st

This is why I love blogging. If I had written my last two posts in my regular diary they would have just sat there on the page, staring back at me in total silence. I write them on my blog, however, and I have many voices commiserating with me, giving me kind advice, celebrating with me, and making me feel deliciously normal. Thanks to everyone who leaves a kind word!!!

HAPPY DECEMBER 1st: Let the jolly madness begin.

1. Super clean the living room so we can cover it in Christmas stuff.

2. Pull out the BIG box of Christmas decorations.
3. Hammer lots of holes in my walls to hang up lots of red and green things.
4. Start Christmas cards.... NOW! Go go go! Write lovely personal notes in each one till your fingers fall off.
5. Find some nonexistent free space in the home that the kids don't know about to hide all the presents in.
6. Make some silly pic on the computer that somehow involves a tortilla chip (more on that later)
7. STOP buying ANYTHING from fabric or craft stores RIGHT NOW. If I haven't made it by now it will never happen so don't waste the money.
8. Write another Christmas card. Don't forget to apologize for still not having a family photo to send this year.
9. Make and ship cinnamon rolls to Grandpa.
10. Try to find something festive to wear that will make me feel sexy and smokin' hot and that fits my big-enough-to-be-putting-on-lots-of-weight-but-not-big-enough-to-look-pregnant-body.

BUT, before I do anything today, before I allow myself to be sucked in by my own ideas of holiday must-dos, I am going here:

Many people wish for peace on earth at this time of year. I feel so blessed that I know where to find it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Here Is A Little Peek

Just like Toad from Wind In The Willows, "I have a new mania." For over two years now I have had an intense desire to make felt food. It all started from a chance encounter with a felt slice of pumpkin pie that I found on the internet and then grew to Captain Nemo-like proportions upon seeing a felt banana. I. Must. Make. Felt. Food. The only things I had standing between me and my Martha Stewart Dreams were the fact that you have to go to a craft store or Wall Mart in order to get felt, and you must have at least 5 minutes with which to, in a sane manner, pick out colors for your food items, and I have had four kids with me AT ALL TIMES. Have you ever taken four kids to the craft store? They start out just as sweet as cream as they point out all the fun things they see. But this isn't the toy isle in K-Mart, and I will not let them pull everything out to play with it. Therein lies the rub my friends. Suddenly everything is boring to them and they just want to go home and they make sure that you, and everyone else in the store, knows it. I usually end up running for the door with a few things that I managed to grab from the check stand displays and crawl home in utter defeat, only to realize that I once again am without my precious colors of felt. So, what has changed, you ask? Did I sell my soul to the Devil? No, no, no. I actually found someone who is willing to exchange babysitting with me... on a regular basis.... I'm so happy I could cry!!! I watch her kids for a few hours on Monday and she returns the favor on Thursday. Last Thursday I spent a heavenly, quiet, relaxed hour and a half at Michael's Craft store and came home with two bags full of perfectly planned projects, and one of those bags was full of my variously hued felt. Thus far I have whipped up two spears of broccoli, two carrots, two hot dogs in buns, half a dozen pink frosting sugar cookies, and I am currently working on 6 slices of double layer chocolate cake with white frosting and strawberries on top (this is my piece de resistance). Next I plan to make some frosted doughnuts, some cupcakes, maybe a sandwich or hamburger set... the possibilities are endless. I will just keep sewing until a new mania hits me, which I'm hoping will be the paintings I am planning for the kids' bedrooms.

P.S. No, these are not photos of my felt food (curse my camera/computer issues) but if you click on them you will be taken to sites of people who are far craftier than I who can inspire your crafty minds.