There is an ooooold joke that everyone likes to tell in Rexburg, Idaho that goes like this:

You know how Rexburg was founded, right? Well, the pioneers were trying to get to Oregon when a giant wind storm stopped them in their tracks. They had to stop and set up camp and wait for the wind to stop before moving on. But the wind never did stop...

These are some goofy photos I took of Monster Man trying to stand still in one of Rexburg's wind storms.



Yeah, it can get pretty windy.

The Loner/Loaner

Today, Monster Man got off the bus wearing this lovely little number:
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I asked him where the coat came from and he said it was a loaner jacket because he didn't have his own jacket for recess. I could have sworn I gave him his jacket this morning, but I guess I didn't. Isn't he an 8o's stud muffin in this get up? I love it.
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So, Monster Man, will you remember to wear your jacket tomorrow so the whole neighborhood doesn't think we're starting Halloween early this year?
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Lesson learned!

Boys and Guns

Documented proof that kids can make anything into a pretend gun:

Of course after I made Monster Man repeat this on video I sternly told him that babies are NOT guns.

I'm responsible like that.

Monster Man Is 6.

Happy Birthday, Monster Man. You are still just as passionate about life as ever. We tease you about the fact that you never walk, you are always running, skipping, or jumping. I just hope that you don't rush too fast through life. Slow down and enjoy it with me every now and then, ok?

Such a stud man. Even with all your "cracks" (scars) you are amazingly handsome. You melt hearts all around you with your enthusiastic (some say decapitating) hugs and kisses. It is hard to stay mad at you for very long because I can't help smiling when looking at your wonderful face and it's lively expressions. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, you look so much like your daddy, and I continue to fall in love with you everytime I see your face.

You have been so excited to become a big brother. Thank you for all your help with Cheeks. He loves it when you talk to him, and I love it when you hold him. You are so unselfish and eager to please. Thank you, Monster Man, for continually teaching our family how to love. We love you so much!!!

Great Literature Part II and Friday Preschool

I've been wanting to post about how I get my children to love Great Literature for a while now and finally stole some time today to do so. Here is how I am instilling a love of good books (that have nothing to do with SpongeBob, Scooby Doo, Or Captain Underpants) into my son, Monster Man:

Every Friday I open my doors to a group of silly, rambunctious, rowdy, loud, and overly energetic boys, and I happen to be the mother of one of them. After we made the decision to put Pablo into public school I realized that Monster Man was going to need something extra in his life to keep from getting lonely and bored in his homeschooling. In order to help him I decided to invite the sons of several of my friends to join us every Friday for a couple of hours for preschool/kindergarten (we are also part of a co-op that meets on Tuesdays). The curriculum I'm using for these classes comes from Five In A Row. I had always heard great things about this but was too cheap to invest in it. A friend let me borrow her manual and I have to say I LOVE IT! I'm being greedy and holding onto her copy until I get my own, or until she pries it from my cold, dead fingers.

What is Five In A Row? Click here for the web site, but I must say I didn't find their web site to be very user friendly. It is boring to read, has no pictures, and doesn't help an impatient, tightwad, person like me. So, I will give you my best go at a review here. FIAR takes good, classic children's literature/picture books and helps you squeeze every little bit of learning you can from them. With each children's book you cover the subjects of Social Studies, Language Arts, Art, Math, and Science. If you do just one subject a day and read the book each time, you've covered the story five times in a row (see how they get the title?). One of the great things about this technique is that you can apply it to any of your favorite children's books. So what I do is, on Friday, we start the class with Social Studies, then we read the book, we try to do one or two more subjects, and then I send them home with things to finish. Here is what I did for one of my own favorite books that wasn't in the FIAR manual.

Bells of Santa Lucia

(You can read the book description by clicking here)

We started class by using our globe. We found where we live and then we took an imaginary journey by train, then boat, then car, then donkey, into the village of Santa Lucia in Tuscany, Italy. We talked about modes of transportation, and how some villages, even today, require people to enter on foot or by small pack animals. We learned some basic Italian phrases and tried to use them as often as we could through the class time.

Then finished by coloring the Italian flag and circling the location of Tuscany on a map of Italy.

Then we read the story of a young girl who lives in the "city of bells", but because of her sadness she can't stand the sound of bells. Then, in the end, she learns that bells are good things, they help us and help those we love, and she is happy again.

After the story we talked about modern day bells (fire alarms, car horns, alarm clocks, doorbells, etc.) and each child was given a little jingle bell tied to a ribbon to wear on their wrist "So their mommies would know where they are." =)

I explained personification to them and we went back through the book to find examples. Then we drew pictures of the personifications on this worksheet (it was so cute seeing pictures of grapes drinking a sun through a straw, or clouds munching on the sun):

Then I made up this little worksheet for math using a bell theme to teach the idea of subtraction. I try to stick with fact families for math, which is why they begin with 6 bells for each problem.

I've given each child their own folder and I write the title of each book we cover on the front of their folder along with a small circle for every worksheet or assignment they are given. For each completed assignment they get a sticker to fill in a circle. This helps motivate them to finish their work at home through the week.

I can't say enough good things about this program, and am loving it to death. If anyone would like to try it without buying the book (though the book is worth the money) I have made worksheets and have lesson plans that I would love to share for the following books:

Harold and the Purple Crayon

Make Way for Ducklings

The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton

The Man Who Tried To Save Time

Tikki Tikki Tembo

And here is a photo of my darling boys and the paper dragons we made after reading Tikki Tikki Tembo (you'll see Pablo in the back because he had a day off school that day. Now he is constantly talking about the next time he will get to do FIAR with us so I plan on doing it through the summer, hopefully):

How I Raise Boys

(Click on this picture to see where you can buy the armor)

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I had a girl first. I thought I was so smart way back then. She was perfect and I figured that perfection had come from my parenting skills... right? Then I had a boy and he quickly proved me wrong. With him it seemed that nothing I did was right. He liked to eat books as a small baby, and loved to break anything he could get his hands on, and for some reason he thought that garbage and toilet paper from the toilet tasted better than cheerios. And forget vegetables, as far as he was concerned it was the vegetables that belonged in the garbage. Then came boy #2, and boy #2 felt that he needed to out-boy boy#1. So, boy #2 took it upon himself to try and die in a new and gruesome way everyday. He created messes the likes which only Katrina can top. And once these two boys were old enough to play together I quickly learned that choking and kicking each other in the throat was the way that they were going to decide who got to sit in which chair, or who got to turn on the TV first.

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My first conclusion upon learning all this was that I am an awful parent. I cried a lot, I went a little crazy, and then I decided to throw out all my original ideas about parenting (you know, the ones about being publicly acceptable, owning unbroken jewelry, and talking in a normal voice) and just try to love these new creatures that I had been given. Letting go of preconceived notions was the best thing I ever did, I only wish I had done it earlier, it would have saved some of my sanity I think. I also learned to embrace and love all things boy. Now I have always been a sort of Tom-boy and already loved dirt, worms, and catching bugs. I had even raised my daughter to love these things. No, I'm talking about REALLY loving pirates, swords, knights, sports, physical contact, and pain. But the best thing I ever did with my boys was getting them excited about knights.

First I let them play *GASP* a computer/video game called Age of Empires with their daddy. I bought them lots of swords and staged many family sword fights with them. We practiced hand to hand combat and perfected our playing dead skills together. We read books about knights, we watched movies about knights, we had knight themed parties, we bought plastic armor, etc. (mind you we were also doing many other things, but I was taking this knight stuff seriously).

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Now, why did I work so hard to get my boys to love knights? Because along with the fun, I was able to teach them about manners, how to play without hurting, and that obeying rules is heroic. My boys learned that the privilege of owning swords is earned by using the sword with discipline. Just ask them about the rules and they will say:

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1. Swords only touch swords

2. We only fight with people who want to fight

3. If someone isn't having fun we stop

4. If the sword touches a person it gets taken away

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And then sit back and watch them go at it. Because they have to be mindful of each other they have learned to carefully choreograph their fighting and it actually has made it more fun for them. And boy do they get upset when other kids don't follow these rules!

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I taught my boys that all knights have to protect a Queen, and that I (until they are married) am their Queen. Knights bring flowers, give kisses, open the door, and are very gentle with their Queen (this was especially important for boy#2 to learn because he is abnormally strong and would often hurt me). This has also come in very handy with this pregnancy because I am often rendered incapable of bending over due to pain. They are the first to run and pick up things that I need. And I am a good Queen and reward my knights with smiles and kisses and they love it! I teach them that all women are princesses and to be treated with good manners (though they often need reminding of what those good manners entail).

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Are my boys perfect now? Well, what do you mean by perfect? Their faces, and feet are often dirty, their room is often a mess, they still fight dirty on occasion, and the Queen still has to reprimand them on an almost daily basis. But, they are kind to me, they do not yell at me (though they find subtle ways to let me know how they feel), they play well with each other 90% of the time, and they really have a desire to do what is right. And as far as I'm concerned that is just about as perfect as it gets.

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What unique tricks have you learned for raising difficult children?

Recorded for Posterity

As I was writing this morning's post Pablo came to tattle tale on Monster Man for going outside. I mumbled something about not tattling and kept writing. A few minutes later Monster Man came inside and I called, "Hey, Monster Man, come here!" and he just ran right past me. I was about to get upset when I realized he was running to the bathroom. Shrugging my shoulders I go back to blogging. About 10 minutes later Monster Man comes up and says, "Yes, mom?" I give him a blank stare, "What?"
"I said, 'yes, mom?' what did you want to talk to me about?"

He must have really had to go, but it was so sweet that he remembered me.

Monster Man Strikes Again

You should never laugh at your child when they are misbehaving as it will only encourage them to repeat the misbehavior. ~Anyone who can say that with a straight face hasn't met my Monster Man.

Monster Man is supposed to be eating his carrots. It isn't that hard, we are eating chicken noodle soup and all I've required of him is to eat all his noodles and carrots. He has been stalling all night. First the soup was too hot, then it needed salt, then he had to pick every little bit of parsley and onion off his carrots before he could put them in his mouth, then Sweet Terror stole his spoon (the one he wasn't using because it wouldn't pick his carrots up just right), then one of the carrots fell on the floor, etc, etc, etc, then he finally pulled out the big one, the one excuse that can never be argued with, "I have to go to the bathroom." He "goes" and it takes him forever. I yell, "Monster Man, finish and get back here and eat your carrots!" I really wish I didn't sound so much like Miss Hannigan when I yell. Monster Man runs out and flashes me his just-try-to-stay-mad-at-me smile and I patiently ask, "Did you wash your hands?" He runs back into the bathroom. I hear enough water coming out of my faucet to fill a bathtub (Ooooo, I could really go for a warm, quiet bubble bath right now) and so I yell,

"Monster Man.... MONSTER MAN!!!!"

I am just about to charge into my bathroom to yell at said Monster Man when he comes rushing out and smiles up at me with a ridiculously large set of plastic, glow in the dark, vampire teeth in his mouth.

I tried not to laugh, honestly I did.

I did manage to mumble, in between fits of unparent-like giggling, that vampires need to eat their carrots too so that they don't die.

The Faith Of Monster Man

Monster Man has always been very impressed by the power of prayer. Whenever I am unable to find something important I gather the family for a prayer to help us find it. After praying we always find the object within mere minutes. Then we gather again to offer a prayer of gratitude for the found object. Monster Man used to think this was a Magic Trick performed for us by Heavenly Father. He loved telling people that, "Heavenly Father does magic and mommy finds her keys!" We have always taught our children to pray any time they need special help with something and Monster Man has definitely taken us up on this. Today he was especially upset about having to go to church. He disappeared for a few minutes and then approached me in a very serious manner. He placed his tiny hand on my knee, leaned against my shoulder, looked soberly into my eyes and said,

"Mom, I said a prayer to Heavenly Father asking him to make it not be Sunday and to be Saturday, instead, so we don't have to go to church."

It took all my self control not to laugh at the sweet innocent faith that my son had just exercised. It likewise broke my heart to have to tell him that his faith had been a bit misused. Is it wrong of me to assume that my son's faith can't change the day of the week? After all, we are told that faith can move mountains... I LOVE YOU, MONSTER MAN!!!!