All About Pablo

At my kids' middle school, every year I am asked to write a paper about my child for the teachers to better know them. This is the one I wrote for Pablo this year. (Mind you these are always written last minute because my homework skills are the same as they were when I was in school.)

Pablo is a quiet kid, was quiet even in the womb before he was born. I used to worry about him, but it soon became apparent that he is quiet because he is thinking of amazing things. His brain doesn’t work like most kids. His brain functions much like a computer. If he hasn’t been programmed for the information beforehand it won’t stick, but if you can figure out a way to make it make sense to him, he will never forget it and will understand it in ways most adults never will. Pablo is also a very visual learner/thinker. When I wouldn’t let him play video games he wouldn’t get upset, he just drew his own “video” games on paper. I can’t really explain Pablo to you because I’m still trying to figure him out myself. I know that he tries to do his best. He constantly sets goals for himself and works hard to achieve them. He practices when he feels he can’t do something good enough, and he keeps practicing till he gets it right. Pablo has a special knack for cheering up little children and being friends with mentally handicapped children, because he loves nothing better than to be able to make someone else smile. He sometimes gets teased because he has a hard time understanding senseless cruelty and he doesn’t want to fight back. He tends to see things in black and white and has to have subtleties explained to him in any unfamiliar situation. One could see this as a handicap, but I see it as the trait of a marvelous mind that has the ability to see things others can’t, and I think it could help take him farther in life than most people will be able to, if it is nurtured in the right way.

Pablo has a gift for art, and enjoys drawing anytime he can. He is trying his best to only draw when he isn’t working, and has gotten better at that. He has written several comic books and the depth of his thought process in creating them never ceases to amaze me.

My hope for Pablo is that he will continue to gain confidence in his own decision making skills and for others to see his true potential and appreciate it. I know that he will contribute many new and wonderful ideas to the world in his lifetime, and I hope he will always see himself the way I see him.

The World Needs More Trophies

I've read many posts and articles debating the practice of giving every kid a trophy, even when they lose. I've always seen the valid points of both sides but leaned more towards the tough love side. If you win, you win, if you lose, you lose. Suck it up and deal with it, right? Well, in this case I think I've changed my mind.

See this smile? This is just minutes before the start of Pablo's Pinewood Derby race. See the excitement, the hope, the confidence?


And we were all excited for him. And we all had our fingers crossed, hoping he would have better luck than last year. Alas, he once again came in dead last for every race. Poor guy. But he held it together (even though I could see him clenching his fists and mentally willing himself to not cry or run away). Last year when this happened his consolation prize was a paper certificate and a mini candy bar. It wasn't very consoling, but it was better than nothing, right?

Well, this year they gave each kid on of these amazing little trophies on stone bases, and they are even going to get an engraved name plate to put on it.

Pablo, who moments before had a face filled with pain, ran up to me with a big smile and showed me his trophy. I commented on how great it looked and he said,

"Yeah, the winners got bigger trophies. This trophy might be tiny, but I think it's a good, strong trophy." And then he gave me a big long hug and said, "Now I need to build a trophy case!"

And I think he totally deserved that little-but-strong trophy because I don't know if I could have come in dead last 6 races in a row without running away to cry in a closet somewhere. Pablo, you are one tough kid. I'm so proud of you.

And of course we went out for ice cream to celebrate the big evening. =)

Now, do any of you have some good tips on how to improve a pinewood derby car (that doesn't involve a premade kit or the parents doing all the work)?

Comic Education

The other day Pablo came to me and said, "Hey mom, I have a really funny thing to tell you that I learned from Calvin and Hobbes. Wanna hear it?" I said, sure, and he proceeded to recite, in a funny voice, from memory, this little diddy.


"To be, or not to be: that is the question:Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; no more; and by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; to sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil,Must give us pause..."


My jaw was lying on the floor and tears of grateful pride were rolling off my cheeks, and my husband's eyes were as big as saucers. If Calvin and Hobbes can get my Lego loving son to quote Shakespeare then it will always have a place of honor in our home.

I'm Still Alive...

I just survived another birthday party. I'm always amazed to still be standing after these things. I swear it's equivalent to doing 4 straight hours of intense cardio aerobics. It is only 3:30pm and my body thinks it is midnight, I'm so tired. But it was fun.

Little Jedi, here is your mission: To defeat the evil Empire. To do this we must first help the rebellion by building them some fighter ships. I just dumped all of Pablo's legos on the floor and they all made a unique ship.

Next Jedi assignment: To create characters to help us fight against the rebellion, or to create evil Empire people to fight against. I love making clothes pin people. Starting at the top and going clockwise we have: Yoda, Darth Vader, Princess Leia, C3pO (I made these last two. It was my party too.), a rebel fighter, Guido, and another rebel fighter. The best part was trying to figure out how to attach the light sabers. One boy had the bright idea to stick it in the gap at the bottom of the pin. It looked very much like the Schwartz from Spaceballs. He said, "I don't even care if it looks like his privates." I quickly suggested that we glue them to the capes or wrap them around the pin. =)

Last Jedi assignment: To capture and destroy Darth Vader (Sorry Luke, but your dad has got to go!). I announced that I had received a special message from Yoda. "Yoda says he has seen Darth Vader hiding behind the plant in the Living Room." Here are the following messages:

~ Vader was just here but he got thirsty so he went to the cantina for a drink (look by the milk).

~ (taped to the milk jug) The Aliens say that Darth Vader stopped drinking milk years ago and said he was going to go watch some TV instead.

~Darth Vader was here. He wanted to watch Star Wars but Sweet Terror insisted on watching Dora. He mentioned something about riding a bike instead.

~ Dear Pablo, I tried to ride your bike but my cape kept getting caught in the tires. It is all muddy so I'm going to go use your washing machine. Love, Darth Vader. P.S. You will never catch me. Ha ha ha ha!

~ After Vader got all cleaned up he wanted to look at himself in the mirror. There are lots of mirrors in the house. Can you find the right one?

~ You are getting closer. Darth Vader saw you and your Jedi friends coming so he ran to hide under a bed.

And they found the pinata under Pablo's bed.

The kids took way to much pleasure in the thought of bashing in Vader's head. There was a regular Jedi war cry as I strung him up in the tree. Using a wooden light saber, the kids all got turns and he busted open right at the last whack.

I often wonder if Leia would have been as forgiving as Luke.

Last Jedi mission: To celebrate out victory!!! Here is my version of clashing light sabers cake. Not to be compared with others I've seen. But possibly worthy of landing on the Cake Wrecks blog (Warning, this is a very funny blog but has some bad language.)

We had the Star Wars sound track playing in the back ground, put on star wars fake tattoos, and then we were going to blow up those long skinny balloons to have a light saber fight but I forgot to buy the balloons. Instead I let them watch Pablo's Star Wars Lego game until their parents came to get them. Whew!

And now I have to go pack. We are leaving tomorrow at 8am.

Me, four kids, one newborn, and 800 miles. I just can't help it.

I have to go home for my ritual summer with the family.

SBmail

I have several things I want to blog about... I really wish I had some ice cream to blog about. Due to lack of time, however (my weekends have been crazy lately), and lack of functioning brain cells, I am going to leave you with a bit of Pablo.

Pablo loves the computer. I don't dare say, "Then why don't you marry it?" because I'm afraid he would challenge the constitutional definition of marriage and do just that. Because of this we are very careful about how much time he is allowed on it. And anytime he acts up while using the computer (like throwing a fit when it is time to get off) he looses his ability to be on the computer for a running amount of days. The funniest/saddest one was when he threw a fit and I said, "Ok, that is one day no computer." He stomped his foot at me. "Ok, two days." He fell to the floor. "Three days." Get the idea? Well, he worked his way up to 18 days... 18! And if he acts up during that 18 days he gets more days added on. He was an angel for 18 days straight. It was amazing. Finally the day came, he did all his chores (another computer using rule) and his homework, and he got on the computer. He played for a good long time and then it was time for dinner. He threw another fit. "One day. Ok, that's two. Three, you'd better stop. Four." He got it back up to 10. Poor guy. Those days are over now, though, as he has finally learned how to control himself with regards to the computer and he is a super sweet angel about pausing his game so I can use it, or turning it off when it is time to stop. But he still does something very interesting that he has always done. When he is not on the computer he will draw what it was he was doing on the computer. He will draw picture after picture of detailed battle scenes from Age Of Empires. He will make page after page of stink o' man video game screens. And, just recently, he drew these Strong Bad Emails (Lately SBemails have gotten weirder and grosser. For this reason Pablo has to draw it instead of watch it. Several years ago these were a bit more kid friendly so I linked to an older one. And I swear I clean that dry erase board once a week. They just use it so much it always looks like that.):

How I Raise Boys

(Click on this picture to see where you can buy the armor)

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I had a girl first. I thought I was so smart way back then. She was perfect and I figured that perfection had come from my parenting skills... right? Then I had a boy and he quickly proved me wrong. With him it seemed that nothing I did was right. He liked to eat books as a small baby, and loved to break anything he could get his hands on, and for some reason he thought that garbage and toilet paper from the toilet tasted better than cheerios. And forget vegetables, as far as he was concerned it was the vegetables that belonged in the garbage. Then came boy #2, and boy #2 felt that he needed to out-boy boy#1. So, boy #2 took it upon himself to try and die in a new and gruesome way everyday. He created messes the likes which only Katrina can top. And once these two boys were old enough to play together I quickly learned that choking and kicking each other in the throat was the way that they were going to decide who got to sit in which chair, or who got to turn on the TV first.

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My first conclusion upon learning all this was that I am an awful parent. I cried a lot, I went a little crazy, and then I decided to throw out all my original ideas about parenting (you know, the ones about being publicly acceptable, owning unbroken jewelry, and talking in a normal voice) and just try to love these new creatures that I had been given. Letting go of preconceived notions was the best thing I ever did, I only wish I had done it earlier, it would have saved some of my sanity I think. I also learned to embrace and love all things boy. Now I have always been a sort of Tom-boy and already loved dirt, worms, and catching bugs. I had even raised my daughter to love these things. No, I'm talking about REALLY loving pirates, swords, knights, sports, physical contact, and pain. But the best thing I ever did with my boys was getting them excited about knights.

First I let them play *GASP* a computer/video game called Age of Empires with their daddy. I bought them lots of swords and staged many family sword fights with them. We practiced hand to hand combat and perfected our playing dead skills together. We read books about knights, we watched movies about knights, we had knight themed parties, we bought plastic armor, etc. (mind you we were also doing many other things, but I was taking this knight stuff seriously).

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Now, why did I work so hard to get my boys to love knights? Because along with the fun, I was able to teach them about manners, how to play without hurting, and that obeying rules is heroic. My boys learned that the privilege of owning swords is earned by using the sword with discipline. Just ask them about the rules and they will say:

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1. Swords only touch swords

2. We only fight with people who want to fight

3. If someone isn't having fun we stop

4. If the sword touches a person it gets taken away

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And then sit back and watch them go at it. Because they have to be mindful of each other they have learned to carefully choreograph their fighting and it actually has made it more fun for them. And boy do they get upset when other kids don't follow these rules!

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I taught my boys that all knights have to protect a Queen, and that I (until they are married) am their Queen. Knights bring flowers, give kisses, open the door, and are very gentle with their Queen (this was especially important for boy#2 to learn because he is abnormally strong and would often hurt me). This has also come in very handy with this pregnancy because I am often rendered incapable of bending over due to pain. They are the first to run and pick up things that I need. And I am a good Queen and reward my knights with smiles and kisses and they love it! I teach them that all women are princesses and to be treated with good manners (though they often need reminding of what those good manners entail).

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Are my boys perfect now? Well, what do you mean by perfect? Their faces, and feet are often dirty, their room is often a mess, they still fight dirty on occasion, and the Queen still has to reprimand them on an almost daily basis. But, they are kind to me, they do not yell at me (though they find subtle ways to let me know how they feel), they play well with each other 90% of the time, and they really have a desire to do what is right. And as far as I'm concerned that is just about as perfect as it gets.

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What unique tricks have you learned for raising difficult children?