Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I'm Not Ready

I'm not ready! I'm just not. One should never get a taste of something good until they can have it all the time. Like parmesan cheese. Once you taste the good stuff you can never go back to the powdered Kraft stuff, ever. Well, I have been getting a taste of life with older kids and I gotta say, "It's niiiiiiice."

I've never gone this long without having a new baby in the house. Usually by the time the youngest turns two I am bringing home a new one. Now that Sweet Terror is almost 4 I'm experiencing things I never thought I would again.

Like a movie in the theater. On Monday Mr. Hotness took us all to see Prince Caspian at the theater. And we all got to see it, the whole way through. No one had to leave with a screaming baby, or to catch a runaway toddler.

Like playing at the beach. I'm usually stuck on a towel nursing a baby or not trusting anyone else to care for it long enough for me to have fun too. And if I do get near the water I am usually too paranoid about drowning children to have any fun at all. We just got back from visiting 2 different beaches and we all had a blast. Everyone is now old enough to play and to not go too deep. LOVED IT!

Like going to church and actually hearing the speakers. For so many years I've only gone to church because I knew it was the right thing to do. Now I go and everyone sits still and I actually get spiritually fed. It is amazing. And I no longer feel the evil glares of the old people as they try to kill me and my screaming children with their laser eyes.

Like talking to my husband. There is no one that is too young and needy to be ignored while we actually finish our sentences. It is amazing.

I only have 4 more weeks to enjoy this new found freedom and then, once again, my body will exist for the sole purpose of keeping a human being fed, clean, and alive. I'm so excited to meet this new little guy, I'm so excited to not be pregnant anymore, I'm so grateful for this amazing blessing in my life... but...

BUT... I'M NOT READY!!!

35 comments:

Jen said...

My youngest is 3 1/2 and I'm really enjoying it too. I love not having to carry around a diaper bag of essentials at all times.

Awesome Mom said...

I so know how you feel. Harry is 2 and a half and I am very much enjoying not having a baby around. Yet I also know that we want more than two kids in our family. It is going to be hard to go back to baby again.

Prudy said...

I think we can all relate to that sense of foreboding! My elder sister used to cry that she wouldn't be able to go on a bike ride when the baby came; funny thing was, she never really did go on bike rides when she could! She was completely self aware, but still couldn't knock the sense of missing out on something. Everything changes when you get the sweet little baby.
BTW, I want one of those pesto bagels from your last post.

Jeanette said...

It is bittersweet isn't it? I only have about 1 more month of nursing my baby and I am excited about that but we are already talking about the next one. So I get to go from nursing to pregnancy to nursing? Not the most exciting prospect for me.

Kim said...

Well at least you are taking the time to enjoy these things while you can. Make the most of the next few weeks.

You know when the baby arrives you are gonna wonder how you could have enjoyed anything without him/her.

Kim @ TheBitterBall

Laura said...

I am so there with you. I had Tekina when Noa was 4, and Tekina is going to be 4 soon, and I'll have our new baby. I like kids about the time they turn 4. They're so much fun! But I'll always have to deal with the running off part with my toddler-teen Finelea -- but it gets easier with her as she understands more.

Lynell said...

It will be a big change. My second and third were 3 1/2 years apart. And oh my goodness. I had totally forgotten how a baby takes over EVERYTHING! It was exciting and wonderful.

Just remember, they grow up fast!

Hang in there! Ready or not....

Charlotte said...

Oh wow - I so hear you on this one! We want one more kid but I just don't think I can another 3 years of mayhem again. For me the thing I miss most is uninterrupted sleep.

Tirzah said...

It is so true! As wonderful as a new baby is, they can really make it hard to be "you", huh?

Amy Y said...

I know how you feel... We're at 5 and 6.5 now and I am loving it! But newborns are so sweet and fun, too. You have lots of big helpers that you didn't have before, so that should make life easier.

Perhaps it's time to think about getting Mr. H fixed? :)

MiaKatia said...

I totally understand! I love the kids getting to these new stages of independence but I know that some day we will be back at the baby stage all over again. I am trying to enjoy all I can in the mean time. And isn't it funny how the older people seem to forget that their kids were screaming running toddlers once too!

An Ordinary Mom said...

Yeah, even though life is getting pretty uncomfortable right now, especially sitting, I am still glad this little guy is inside me and not on the outside :) !! I don't really feel ready either.

Laurel said...

Oh, sweet woman, you give me hope! I have three and am hoping for five. I tell myself the closer I have them, the sooner I'll be done with all THIS! I'm with you on the church thing. I have to remind myself how important it is to my kids to see me there...frazzled to my wit's end or not.

Laurel said...

Oh, sweet woman, you give me hope! I have three and am hoping for five. I tell myself the closer I have them, the sooner I'll be done with all THIS! I'm with you on the church thing. I have to remind myself how important it is to my kids to see me there...frazzled to my wit's end or not.

Ben and Jennilyn said...

wow... to listen at church again... I mean I listen, but usually it's to Indy singing "Bob the Builder" during the sacrament.

Cheri said...

Four weeks! Wow! Um, get ready. ;-)

Amber M. said...

I laughed when I read the church part...there's nothing like getting all dressed up and ready to learn...and then spending the ENTIRE time in the foyer.

But you will get sweet newborn kisses. I'm jealous about that part...

Angela said...

I love this post! It is so fun and exciting! We want photos pronto!

Lisa said...

It's probably a good thing you didn't wait any longer. My youngest is ELEVEN. :( I can't even imagine doing anything for a baby.

Michal said...

i've never had that long of a break, but the last few weeks of my pregnancies are always full of fear and dread because i know how different life is with a new baby. i am always thrilled to meet them when they come, but i am not someone who counts down to her due date--i savor that last month!:)
the good news is that they are so worth it. you haven't been able to savor a new baby in four years either. so even though you are giving some things up, you will be gaining some, too.

Amy said...

As you already know - one is never ready! It is so exciting to think that you will be bringing home a new little blessing! Enjoy your freedom even if its for a little while, then it will be time for your great gift!

Family Adventure said...

...but you will be. And the little one will grow up much, much too quickly. So enjoy it :)

Heidi

Merrianne & Spencer Call said...

That is really funny :) i know how you feel!!!

Childlife said...

Hee, hee! You'll do fine - just like falling off a bike :D

Sonja said...

oh, but the sweet smell, the rolls, the wide eyes that are taking everything in for the first time...

I know, it's a toss up I think after 4, but you will have helpers this time. My easiest transition was when Claire was born, and Elise was 3 and potty trained. It makes a big difference, not having to change two stinky bums. :)

I smiled the whole time reading this because it's SO true! You know what? I think you're a fantastic mom (even if you won't post preggie pics that we're all dying to see), and that little baby is so lucky.

The Lazy Organizer said...

The thing that surprises me every time is how easy the baby seems compared to the older fighting, talking back kids. And to think I ever thought a baby was hard!

Annie said...

Yep

Youngest child was 15 when the tiny terrors arrived. I'm a bit older than you (ahem) so having an 18-mo-old and a three-year-old after all those years...wow...life changing.

But you'll get back in the routine and don't blink. Them babies grow up soooo fast.

Oh and about the postcard: Email me at bkwrm1967@yahoo.com with your name and address and I'll mail you one.

Leslie said...

I hear you! But just think...you can go into the mother's lounge at church (if you have a good one in your building), turn on the overhead speakers and sit there quietly while Mt. Hotness stays in Sacrament meeting to deal with the rest of the kids. At least for a little while...

:) - You're going to be just great.

Sherilyn said...

I feel the same way. My son is almost 2 & feel like I'm just now able to do fun things again, & w/in 3 months it'll all be over for another 2 years or so....

I am not shy about telling my baby it can be overdue. The more nights I get to sleep through the night, the better!

Becoming Me said...

I can so relate. Enjoy this next month.

perilloparodies said...

totally with you there, Sista'. got 7 1/2, almost 6, just turned 4, almost 2 1/2 and almost 7 months... hang in there... It may be difficult today, but try to enjoy it while you have it... being done having kids, i am sad about it... never to know those "firsts" again, the infant monkey cling, Praying feet, to watch those diapers change from mustard yellow to other not so attractive colors, well, the list can go on and on... :-) there are challenges in EACH stage. the first two years require our hands- on help, but i just want to enjoy it while i have it. it seems harder in some ways, but i have seen that having older kids has been harder in other ways. God gives us "strength for today, hope for tomorrow." He is faithful and brings us encouragement even in the "foyers" of life. Know that feeling. one worse feeling is when you go to someone' house for dinner but cannot enjoy the meal with everyone else because the baby decides that he MUST have a drink or eat right at that moment or else.. i missed many meals and fellowship, but, i also miss having those cute litte naive, innocent moments, too. You can do it!!! Just learn to be content even in the simple, fun things that go on in every day, and it really will make a world of differences. this comes from a recovering pessimist in optimist's clothing. :-) God is faithful and He will not give you more than you can handle in His strength. when we are weak, He is strong. so, rely on Him...surrender and trust...

CC said...

yeah, I thoght I wanted 3 kids. then when they were both potty trained, I was like NO WAY. No going back for me!!! ;)

Shannon said...

Great post Lizzy. I loved the comment about finally being able to go to and actually watch a movie ( : And although I do love it, it's bittersweet for me, too. I really miss those baby days ( :

Caffienated Cowgirl said...

Even if we think we're ready - are we ever really??

just jamie said...

First of all, you WILL BE ready when you meet that sweet little face. But, just in case you're not, I've got open arms for your newborn over here. I need a baby fix. Really, I just need a baby. :)