Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Fad Diet Ideas

When I first started blogging I started several blogs but couldn't remember my passwords, usernames, or new "blog only" email addresses. For example, the original My Ice Cream Diary has the word "my" in its web address. But I forgot the username and corresponding email. So there it sits, with only one lonely post, all on its lonesome. But that one lonely post is something I still find kind of funny, so I'm going to repost it here so you all can see it.

I read some where that if one diet doesn't "work" you should keep trying until you find one that you like. I've tried a lot of them but so far with very little success. So, I came up with some fun ones to try that I think are GUARANTEED to make you eat less. Here they are:

1. Terrible Two Diet: You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want but you must do so while holding a 2 1/2 year old child in your lap.

2. Car Seat Diet: You can eat whatever you find in your children's carseats. Don't worry there is enough food in those things to sustain life.

3. Mystery Diet: You can eat whatever is hiding in the back of your fridge in an unmarked tupperware container. A bit risky, but you never know when you might get lucky.

4. Preschool Dessert Diet: You are only allowed to eat sugar when surrounded by a group of preschoolers. Don't forget to set a good example by sharing. You will never be able to save enough for yourself so all desserts are guilt free =)

5. Vegemite Diet: You are allowed to eat anything you want on this diet as long as you spread it with a 1/8 inch layer of vegemite.

6. Daily Milkshake Diet: You can eat what ever you want on this diet. The only requirement is that you take all your meals/snacks/desserts for that day and blend them all together in a big milkshake and consume through a straw. Imagine your appetite after a few sips of Cocoa puffs/cookies/tuna sandwich and a side salad/hamburger with french fries and onion rings/and some mid-night-ice-cream milkshake. Best of all this diet is very portable, just pour into an empty water bottle and take it with you.

I hope this helps anyone out there who is looking for a new diet to try. If you think of any others please share them. =)

12 comments:

Rachel said...

UGH! Those are too funny! And pretty timely... I think these last few baby pounds need to go! :) Thanks for reposting it!

Amber M. said...

WOW! You are simply brilliant.:-)

Becky Frame said...

5 and 6 made my stomach turn! Blech!

Actually, I've been to your original ice cream blog. I found it once a long time ago when I was first trying to add you to my blogroll. And don't you have an advice column too?

Ice Cream said...

Becky,
yes, I do (did) have an advice column. I still get questions for it from people, but haven't felt able to advise people on anything lately because I'm such a mess myself right now.

Richelle said...

That's too funny!

Unknown said...

I think those just might work!

u r too funny

Donya said...

If they are proven to work, I'd give em a try. :)

Lara said...

The vegemite diet made me laugh out loud! We have friends from Australia who are always trying to get us to eat their vegemite. Not happening!!!

CC said...

I don't understand. I've tried many of these and no luck. What's up with that???

Anonymous said...

You are awesome!

Lifeofkaylen said...

Some of these will lead to another type of diet: the Really Bad Stomach Flu diet, where you eat something really bad and then spend the evening and the next in the bathroom! :)

Michal said...

this is a hilarious post. well done! i absolutely love number 1 and 2. you should get this published somewhere. :)