Cheap Junk

I have a serious problem. I call it a sickness.

For the most part I am really good at being frugal. I buy my clothes used from Garage sales and Thrift stores, I am a master at buying cheap food, and I'm pretty good about making do with what we have on hand. I don't "go shopping" for fun and I pride myself on my ability to save money. But I have one glaringly obvious weakness. Cheap Junk. It is my Kryptonite. For some reason I just can't seem to walk away from something I perceive as a great deal, even if I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is junk.

Take yesterday for example. I needed tissue paper for wrapping up my felt cupcakes. That's all I needed. Now, I know the dollar store is a dangerous place for me because of my sickness so I try my best to avoid it, but it is the best deal in town when it comes to tissue paper. I gave myself a little pep talk before going in, mentally writing a thousand times on the chalkboard, "I will only buy what I need. I will only buy what I need. I will only buy what I NEED." I bought tissue paper, some needed school supplies for the kids, a couple Mother's Day cards, and...

and....

and....

a sombrero

a 3D Hansel and Gretel book

and some cute drinking straws with little drink umbrellas on them

So, here I sit, wearing my sombrero, drinking my morning V-8 through an umbrella straw, trying my best to mentally justify these purchases.

I need help.

A Sweet Goodbye Gift

As the Garage Sale season comes to a close I morn. I weep for the lost weekend adventures, the bargains, and the romance that is other people's junk. I will miss the rush of finding something great for barely nothing. My kids will miss the gluttony of "new" toys and clothes. Perhaps even Mr. Hotness will feel a twinge of loss (as in, he won't have as many reasons to poke fun at me and my precious junk).

When loved ones have to part it is a common practice to give parting gifts. A memento of your time together, something special to remember the person by. Last week I received just such a gift from one of my special loves.

Last week I went out for one last hoorah with my good friend, Garage Sale, and we had a lot of fun. Mainly I just "window" shopped, eavesdropping on other people's lives through their castoffs. But then Garage Sale Buddy presented me with my goodbye gift. A gift that will keep me smiling through the long cold months until Garage Sale Buddy returns.

Doll house furniture. Not just any doll house furniture, though. You see, the value of garage sale treasure is not just in the item itself, but in how little you have to pay for it. The less it costs the higher it's value. And this is where my gift becomes so special to me. I got all this lovely doll house goodness for... (DUN DUN DUN)... a dollar. No, not a dollar a piece. One dollah! For all of it!!!

How often do you get to be Lord over your own tiny little world for just a dollar?

And, no, this is not for the kids. These are all mine. MINE I tell you! But, maybe, if the kids are really good and pretend to like everything I make for dinner tonight, maybe I will let them watch me play with these.

Maybe.

P.S. Can anyone tell me what this line is from?:

"Looks like Darth Vader's bathroom."

Follow The Neon Signs

I have been doing my Bunz O' Steel exercises all winter long preparing for Summer time. Not because I want to look good in a swimsuit (for that I would have to do Body O' Steel) but because I want to look good while assuming the rummage-and-find position: Yes folks, it is summer, and summer means YARD SALES or GARAGE SALES. Oh how I loves me a good yard sale. I like to think that when I shop at yard sales I am contributing to the recycling process and keeping our landfills clean (ok, not really, I just love cheap junk). The best is when I find stuff new, or things I have been wanting to buy but couldn't afford. I'll never forget finding the leapfrog toy. As a new, and rather poor, mom I had been browsing a children's toy catalogue wishing I had the money to buy from it. Then I saw it. A Leap Frog Phonics Writing Desk. At the time it cost $30 and that was an impossible amount for me. I wanted Cookie to have it, though, and decided to save up for it. I clipped its picture from the catalogue and stuck it to my fridge as a reminder to count my pennies. It sat on that fridge for 3 months. One sunny Saturday I was out running errands and happened on a yard sale. I stopped to look around and while rummaging through a big box of toys I saw it. It looked brand new! The amazing toy that was going to make my daughter a child prodigy was just sitting there in someone's front yard. There was no price tag. I cringed. They would probably want more than I could afford. I calmed myself down and tried to remember all the yard saling tactics my mother had taught me as a child. I lifted it up and lazily called to the lady sitting in a lawn chair, "Hi, this one doesn't have a price tag. How much do you want for it?"

"Oh, how 'bout a buck?" I almost choked. Stay calm, stay calm.

"Ok, I think I'll take it then."

That $1 toy lasted through 3 children. And that, dear friends, is why I like to yard sale.

Tips for yard saling:

1. In the summer time plan all your errands for early mornings on Fri and Sat. That way you are already out and about and can get the most for your gas. Do grocery shopping at the very end.

2. Keep your eyes alert and slow down at all intersections. You never know when you'll see some neon or an arrow. Make sure the signs you follow look fresh and new. You don't want to drive around looking for last week's sale.

3. You can yard sale with kids. Mine are always willing to sit in the car because they know when I come back I will usually have a new little toy for them. (most yard sales have a little 10 cent toy bucket)

4. If you see something you really like but the price is too high just ask yourself, "At what price would I be willing to buy this?" Then offer them just a little bit less than that. That way you have a little wiggle room to go up. If they don't meet your price then just say, "hmmm, I'd love to buy it, but I just can't at that price. Thanks anyway" They will understand.

5. If there is an item that you REALLY want but they wouldn't come down on the price then get their phone number or give them yours and say "If you don't happen to sell it and you are willing to go down to my price later, please call and let me know"

6. When buying kids clothes I usually go through the stack and find what I want. Then I wait till there is no one else near and I quietly approach the salesperson and say, "Hi, I know that you want $1.00 a piece but I usually only pay 50 cents each for kids clothes. Would you be willing to sell to me at that price?" I am very fair about the prices I offer. And I set my offering prices based on what I see at other yard sales. If they say no I know I can wait and find things at that price elsewhere. I will pay more depending on the quality and newness.

7. Don't hesitate to rummage and dig. Often times people just toss a bunch of small stuff in a box (like my Leap Frog toy) and you never know when you will find a treasure underneath a bunch of junk.

8. Before you start yard saling think about the things you need or want. If you truly have a need say a prayer before you go. I know this may sound hokey but I have too often found things that I really needed in answer to prayers. I'll never forget my sister in law's lamps. She was pregnant, newly married, and very poor at the time and was trying to furnish a new apartment. We went out and at one sale she found a lovely green lamp for $3. 2 yard sales later she found its exact match for $2. They would have cost her at least $50 if she had bought them at Wal Mart and they would not have been as nice. She was so happy she almost cried. When I was expecting Cookie I was able to get everything I needed for her (crib, highchair, clothes, books, walker, strollers, etc) for $100 and all in one weekend.

9. When in doubt walk away. We can all use less junk in our lives, so if you are sitting there thinking, "I don't know.... should I buy it?" then the answer is probably, "NO".

Now get out there and find yourself some neon signs and follow those arrows till all your cheap junk dreams come true!

I Prefer To Be Preferred

Are you a Preferred customer? Are you one of the lucky owners of an Albertson's Preferred Customer Club Card? I sure hope so, because if you are just look at the frozen happiness you can acquire for the insanely low price of 2 for $5.oo. I told you it was insane. Albertson's must love me because this is obviously a sale put on just for me. As soon as I was able to stop drooling on my circular I hopped in the car, got back out because I had forgotten my kids, rushed them all out to the car and to our nearest Albertson's ice cream freezer. I've mentioned before that I don't like paying large sums for those inky dinky little gourmet cartons of ice cream, but at 2/$5 I can definitely go for some sahweet Ben & Jerry's frozen happiness. Sadly B&J's has done to me what Bath and Body works has done. They come out with the world's best flavor/scent, they get you hooked, and just when you are willing to admit that your very existence depends on said flavor/scent, they rip it off the shelves and call it "discontinued". B&J used to make two amazingly addictive flavors called

Wavy Gravy

"The flavorful flashback to the 1960s legend was a counter-cultural creation of caramel and cashew Brazil nut ice cream with a chocolate hazelnut fudge swirl and roasted almonds. Perhaps a bit too much for some to crunch, this was still a late-night bite we loved to munch."

and

Rainforest Crunch

"A joy-inducing jungle of vanilla ice cream with untamed chunks of cashew and brazil nut buttercrunch. Though it was a flavor all went nuts exploring, it could not be saved by such adoring."

Let us all rest our spoons for a moment of silent respect.................sniff, sniff............ So I perused the shelves looking for a good flavor. I remembered trying the Oatmeal Cookie Chunk and not liking at first and then feeling like it was heavenly, so I bought one. then i saw that they have a Strawberry Cheese Cake flavor. I have been searching for the perfect Strawberry Cheese Cake ice cream. The closest I have come is Breyer's Sarah Lee Strawberry Cheese Cake. I went on an 8 month binge of that yummy stuff. Sadly no one carries it any more so it is very hard to come by. I once tasted an even better one at a movie theater. It said it was Dreyer's brand but i haven't been able to find any Dreyer's Strawberry Cheese Cake in the stores, or on their website. Aw well, I keep trying, so I bought the B&J to try out. I also picked up some Breyers Root Beer Float and Breyers Heath Bar Crunch (I knew the B&J wouldn't last long so I needed some back up).

The votes are in:

B&J Oatmeal Cookie Chunk: Yummy. Did you ever try those cinnamon chocolate chips? They are like that in an oatmeal cookie. It was very yummy and very feel good comfort food kind of ice cream. It is one to eat when you feel homesick, or when it is snowing out, or when you are watching old reruns of shows you used to watch as a kid (like Cosby and Little House on the Prairie).

B&J Strawberry Cheese Cake: Good, but not as good as Sarah Lee or the mysterious theater ice cream. I don't think I would buy it again. It seemed to leave a chalky feeling in my mouth.

Breyer's Rootbeer Float: Perfectly smooth and rootbeerishly yummy. All it needs is the fizz and some french fries on the side and it would be the real thing.

Breyer's Heath Bar Crunch: If I had to choose a favorite toffee bar ice cream it would have to be Dreyer's, not Breyer's. Breyer's is good but overly sweet and all the toffee chunks have melted into little puddles of sweet toffee goo. I like big chunks of of crunchy toffee in my ice cream so I will let the kids eat this one and wait for Dreyer's to go on sale for this one.

I think I will exercise my Prefered Member privileges again tomorrow. The B&J Pistachio Pistachio, and the Creme Brulee are ones that I simply must try.

Now, I must give my full attention to this bowl of Rootbeer Float before it melts. Happy scooping!!!

Smells Like A Grandma

The back of my van is the storage unit for all pending D.I. donations. It has been full for quite some time now so I thought I would do the family a favor and finally donate the donations.

I always tell myself I won't go in, "Liz, you know you have enough junk. DSSH will poke fun at you if you bring home any more D.I. stuff. Don't do it, Liz, don't do it. Aw, great! There she goes. Oh no, she sees the book section..."

At which point I throw up my hands in sweet surrender and go back out to the car to bring the kids into the store. Pablo steps through the door and stands there while I load Sweet Terror and Monster Man into the cart, "Monster Man, if you don't sit on your bum you are going to fall out and then you will bleed." I know I will be saying this to him every five minutes for the next hour. I know I shouldn't have a kid sit in the back of the cart because it is dangerous. Let me just say that falling out and bleeding is safer than all the times I have lost Monster Man and all the times he has pulled stuff on top of himself while in stores (like the time he pulled/tipped the cart over while Sweet Terror was in it, and I was holding onto it). Meanwhile... Pablo is still standing there at the front of the store with his hands in his pockets seriously thinking about something. He figured out whatever it was that was bothering him because he then came over to me and loudly proclaimed, in front of everyone at the cash registers,

"MOM, THIS PLACE SMELLS LIKE A GRANDMA, THEY MUST HAVE GRANDMA'S HERE."

It was one of those moments where I was glad I wasn't drinking milk, because it would have come out my nose. I whispered, "You're right, you have a good nose", then I patted him on the head and pushed our cart towards all that grandma smelling booty. I love going to D.I for the books. They sell kid's books for 25-50 cents and at that price I can be ok with the fact that my kids like to use them to build trasportational highways. I like to go through the kid's books one by one so I don't miss any hidden gems. The kids are happy to sit and read books while I look for the first half hour. The next half hour is spent by repeating, "I promise we will go see the toys in just a minute, I'm almost done", while Sweet Terror drops books on my head as I thumb through the last of the very bottom shelf.

It was all worth it, in my selfish opinion, because I found some really great books, I only spent 9 bucks, I was able to get a shopping high and indulge in the self righteous feeling that I BUY BOOKS, all at the same time.

BOOK FOR ME

The sixty-year story of the world of Hollywood and its effect on America. From pre-nickelodeon days to the present (This is an old book because its "present" is 1956 and Gregory Peck).

I am going to LOVE this book. I will never forget seeing my first nickelodeon at an old ghost town exhibit with my mom and dad. I have been fascinated with old movies ever since.

BOOK FOR COOKIE (and me too!)

This book takes some of the greatest operas of all time and re-tells them in story format. I am so excited to read these with Cookie. I am going to find CDs of the operas so we can listen to them while we read.

I also found an ASL alphabet book, several great books for Pablo's science studies, illustrated folktales, historically correct coloring books, a book that has pop outs that build the alphabet letters in 3D, and many more. And all this is thanks to the Grandma Smelling Store.