Pray... Then Wait

When my computer breaks I usually just turn it off for 24-36 hours and when I turn it back on it almost always works just fine. This technique doesn't work for everything though... unless you add prayer to it. I've found that prayer and patience is the key to to so many of lifes problems. When someone has done something wrong to me and I totally didn't deserve it, instead of getting really mad back at them I just pray, wait and eventually that person comes and apologizes. When I've lost something and have spent days cleaning and searching and think I'm about to go crazy, I pray, wait, and always find it. Always. When my life seems boring, out of control, busy, or just plain poopy (literally) (seriously) (in 3 years I hope to never ever ever have to wipe another person's bum ever ever again), I just pray, wait it out, and eventually it all works out and joy returns. And don't even get me started on the uses of this technique when it comes to marriage. Yup, I've found this magical fixing technique works for just about anything.

Yesterday I was so mad and frustrated about a problem we were having getting the kids into school that I could barely see straight. I did every thing I could, followed my sister's brilliant advice, even tried begging, had my ear glued to a phone all day, and nothing was working. I was starting to loose my cool. I freaked out a little, then remembered my magical weapon. I said a little prayer, relaxed, went out for ice cream, and went to bed in joyful peace.

Today I got a phone call and, just like that, everything is fine. The kids will start school on time. YIPEE!!!

I'm tellin' ya, pray... then wait. Say it with me, folks, pray... then wait. Try it next time you need a miracle, you will be amazed at the results.

Chutzpah

This morning I was slaughtering my cookbook collection in the name of lessness when I came upon my Norman Rockwell Illustrated Cookbook. I've never used a single recipe from this book, but I love looking at the Rockwell paintings and sketches that it contains. But I don't use it. What to do? So I'm scanning my very favorites and letting the book go. (sniff, sniff)

THIS one, right here, is my most very favorite of them all:

Saving Grace - 1951

I love this painting. In a world where people try so hard to be tough, cool, alone, aloof, cynical, and independent you would think this little old woman would be invisible. But look at the faces of the men around her and her young charge (my scanner cut off the faces of the two men on the left who are also staring). They are in awe, slightly shocked, and there seems to be an almost hunger in their eyes for what this woman has. This woman has chutzpah! So frail, and little, yet she has the inner metal to praise her God in the midst of the everyday man. She, with her pointy umbrella, feels strong enough to display her beliefs to the outside world and defend them, if need be. Her thin, aged body, her vulnerability in travel, the witness of a loving child even, do not prevent her from doing what she knows she must.

I often look at this painting and wish I had such strength of character, to show the world all that I believe without worrying about what others think, without worrying that they might malign that which I hold dear to my heart in jealous protection. This little old lady is far tougher than any of the leather clad bad boys surrounding her... and they know it.

My Own Personal Hell

When I was a kid I thought the tunnels at Craters of the Moon were so cool. As a teenager I thought the rocks were so booooorrrrriiiingggg. Now, as an adult, I can't get over how beautiful this area is. These rock towers that the kids and Mr. Hotness are standing next to are the side walls of a volcano that broke off and then rode on a lava flow until they came to rest here, still standing, about a mile away from where they started. So cool.

Amid all the rough beauty and sagebrush, though, something sinister was waiting for me. Passing a sign that read, "Devil's Orchard," and arriving at "Inferno cone," I should have known, should have stayed, safe and sound, in my car. I should have listened to that voice in my head that warned me to turn back before it was too late. Instead I walked myself right into my own personal hell. Those who know me personally are shocked right now that I can even type that word. I'm so adverse to cussing of any kind that I prefer to say hades, heck, or spell it with hockey sticks. But that is because I believe powerful words like this should only be used when absolutely appropriate. I think this is appropriate.

What is hell? Well, let me just describe it for you:

There I was, surrounded by people, happy people, people walking around free to do as they wished while I sat chained to the ground. People walked past me, some even ran, hand in hand with friends and loved ones. My loved ones were only a short walk away but I couldn't reach them. I clutched my newborn baby to my chest and willed myself to break free, that I might move for the his sake, but I couldn't. The loneliness I felt, while surrounded by others, made my heart ache. The smiles of others seemed to mock me as I sat in abject fear. Only slightly less powerful than the fear was my shame. The shame ate me alive from the inside out and denied me the right to ask anyone for help. I could barely even cry, sunglasses hiding my tears, feeling that if I expressed too much emotion my body might move and any slight movement might cause my worst fears to come true. Fear controlled me, shame silenced me, loneliness hurt me, and I was in hell.

For some people hell can be addiction, guilt for a crime, abuse from a loved one or self abuse, or other various things. For me on that day hell was a phobia.

pho·bi·a
–noun
a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.

I have a phobia of steep slopes. Thinking back, I've always had this fear. As a small child I used to wonder how people were able to walk up hills that I could only crawl up. There are still places here in Seattle that I can't drive in because the hills are so steep (though I have to say that I've come along way int he 6 years we've lived here). Well, this day we were climbing Inferno Cone. About 10 yards up I realized that it was going to be too steep for me to handle and told Mr. Hotness I should turn back. He knows about my fear but has rarely seen it in action and when I hold his hand I can usually see my way through it. So he encouraged me and said, "It isn't that steep, I know you can do it." I'm a big believer of mind over matter so I tried to believe his encouraging words and kept going. A little further up I just knew I had hit my limit. I could not go any further. But I didn't want to ruin it for everyone.

"This is as far as I can go. You guys go on ahead and I will wait for you at the car."

They kept going. I went to turn around, and that is when it hit me. I was in BIG trouble. Not only was this a steep slope, but I was wearing flip flops (an unsteady shoe), the ground was made up entirely of loose, shifting, cinder rocks/dust, and the wind was blowing fiercely. I was able to turn enough to face down hill, slowly lower myself to the ground, and then the paralyses set in. I had one hand on the ground and one on the baby (who, luckily, was safely wrapped and sleeping in the baby wrap), my two feet spread apart for balance, and that is the position I held for what seemed to me an eternity, though probably only 15 minutes. Agony. Sheer agony. Feeling like you are going to die a tortuous death at any moment while logically knowing you are just fine is not a pleasant feeling. At one point a man walking with his family turned to look at me. If I hadn't been wearing sunglasses I'm sure the pleading look in my eyes would have answered his silent question. He turned back several times. I almost called to him for help, but, by the time I had decided to, he had already moved on. When he got to the base he turned to look at me again, hesitated, and then got into his car. I wonder if he was being prompted to help me. Later two bikers drove up and I felt a flash of hope. Bikers may look rough and scary but they are the most understanding humans when it comes to other's handicaps. I knew I could ask them for help without having to worry about making them understand. Sadly, they weren't real bikers. Just two punk kids with big bikes, and only one of them came up the hill and he didn't even glance at me.

Eventually the kids and Mr. Hotness came back. Pablo and Cookie ran right past me. Monster Man came and sat next to me and hugged me for a minute. Oh, how I wanted to take his hand and walk down that hill with him. Finally Mr. Hotness, with Sweet Terror on his shoulders, came from behind me, held his hand out to me and lifted me off the ground. And, just like the light shining into this dark tunnel, peace found it's way to my heart as I trusted in my husband's strength and gravity to see me safely down.

How could something so silly, so simple, so easy for everyone else cause me such torment? This is what hell is: personalized torture that only the one suffering can understand. Compared to it, fire and brimstone look cozy. Mighty cozy, indeed.

Hey Everybody, It's Family Night!

I was asked to prepare a back up sharing time for Primary today, just in case the person in charge wasn't able to make it. I prepared it and ended up not needing it because said sister did indeed pull through. Wasted time on my part? I think not! Now I have a FHE lesson all ready for today.

Theme: Having Courage to Follow Christ's Example

Opening Song: Nephi's Courage

What is courage? Some people think it just means to be brave, but it is actually something different. To have courage means to be able to do something that you are afraid to do. So being scared to do something is ok because you need to be scared first before you can have courage.

Story: The Courage of a Knight I just paraphrase it because it is a bit long for the point it is making. Main points are

1. "True courage is fear that has said it's prayers."
2. Gaelin prayed and had courage to complete his task

Tape a shield to every one's chest and mention that we can find courage to do scary things if we ask our Heavenly Father for help and guidance.


Here are some little stories from the friend that show courageous children. Talk about these situations and how scared the children might have felt. Ask if your children ever feel scared about situations that they find themselves in when they are trying to "Be like Jesus".

Closing Song: A Child's Prayer

P.S. We will be dressing up in all of the knight dress ups we have on hand (which is a lot considering I only have two boys) to add to the fun.

P.P.S. I almost forgot the snack. Well I am going to be cleaning out my freezer (I'll explain why tomorrow) so Jon and the kids will have all you can eat ice cream buffet and I will be eating yogurt. I like yogurt so it will still be yummy for me =)

The Tongue of Angels: Conference talk by Jeffery R. Holland

I love what Elder Orson F. Whitney once said: "The spirit of the gospel is optimistic; it trusts in God and looks on the bright side of things. The opposite or pessimistic spirit drags men down and away from God, looks on the dark side, murmurs, complains, and is slow to yield obedience." We should honor the Savior's declaration to "be of good cheer." (Indeed, it seems to me we may be more guilty of breaking that commandment than almost any other!) Speak hopefully. Speak encouragingly, including about yourself. Try not to complain and moan incessantly. As someone once said, "Even in the golden age of civilization someone undoubtedly grumbled that everything looked too yellow."


I LOVE LOVE LOVE this quote (and the rest of the talk too). This was the talk that I needed so badly when conference came. I have been a big baby this winter, I have been lazy, I have been mean to myself about my weight and my eating habits. I haven't found joy in the blessings of motherhood, or even tried to for that matter. I am rereading this quote to help me remember that I should feel joy as I clean my home tomorrow, because I have a home to clean.

I hope you are all enjoying your Sabbath day today. Have a great coming week!
Liz