Introducing....

Aaron Isaac
Weight: 9lbs. 12oz.
Length: 21"
Head: 15" diameter
Cheeks: HUGE!

Labor began around 10am Friday morning, went to the hospital around 4:30 pm, Baby was born at 9:02pm. Baby and mommy came home Thursday at 6pm. Both are doing very well. Blog name will be "Cheeks" for the time being. =)

Thank You!!!

I just love all you wonderful women! Thank you for cheering me up, making me feel better, and for all the fun advice. =) I just wish I had the time to stop by all your blogs and read what's goin' on out there. I have some hopefully good news, though. I'm contracting. Pretty regular since about 10am this morning. So... hopefully I will be in the hospital tonight threatenting Mr. Hotness if he doesn't agree to a name soon. =)

WISH ME LUCK!

Due Date Update

TODAY IS MY OFFICIAL DUE DATE

WAIT! Don't get all excited for me, this isn't a pic of my new baby crying. This is me, stripped of all pride, crying like a baby in my doctor's office, begging her to induce me today.

I took the caster oil, and lots of it but nothing happened. I should have known, it really only works when you are overdue, and I wasn't. So, on Sunday they are going to have me do a non-stress test and give me the gels to prep me for a Wednesday inducement. WEDNESDAY... as in 6 more sleepless nights of pain, 6 more days of whining, 6 more days of... you get the idea. I told the doctor that my mom will only be here for 11 more days and if we wait till Wednesday then I only get 5 days of help with the new baby... She is a cold-hearted doctor (just kidding, she is sweet, but rational... pregnant-on-their-due-date-women don't like rational doctors) and she sweetly said, "no," but that I might very easily go before Wed. Riiiiight.

I left the doc's office with 2 choices before me. Go home and curl up on the couch and cry for the rest of the day. OR go therapy shopping until I could control my emotions again. So I headed to TJ Maxx and bought a new salad spinner (I know, I'm sooooo selfish). Then I went to the grocery store. Cruising the isles in my melancholy this is how my brain was working:

Hmmmm, we used the fryer last night to make mom's famous french fries, might as well use it again. EGG ROLLS!!! Got all the egg roll fixin's. Then saw a bag of tortilla chips on sale and thought, hmmm, might as well make my salsa that mom likes and if I'm going to do that I'm going to also buy these mango's to make a mango version... and avacado's too. Then I had to buy beets and asparagus because I'm supposed to be eating healthy. But as I looked through the beets I could smell the mint sprigs, and that made me think of Indian food, so I had to get everything for an Indian feast. And I passed the cereal isle while getting flatbread, only to see rice crispies on sale. You can't pass cheap crispies without thinking Rice Crispie Treats!

So, if my doctor won't induce me I'm just going to get fat. Yeah, that will TOTALLY show her who's boss!

Pregnant Confessions

Father forgive me, for...

1. In the past 3 months my children have eaten enough cold cereal to feed a small 3rd world country for a year.
2. I managed to put off packing my hospital bag by deciding it was suddenly VERY important that we re-decorate the bathroom.
3. I made my husband knock on my neighbor's door at 9pm to borrow a drill for the bathroom re-do (It was THAT important).
4. I ate 9 Klondike ice cream cones in one day... all by myself.
5. 4 times now I've promised the nurse that I would leave a pee sample before I left the office... and I never did.
6. I skipped church last Sunday (but it was worth it as I managed to accumulate 1 1/2 hours of sleep during that time.
7. I have eaten lunch meat, feta cheese, shellfish, and lots of other No-No foods. BUT I didn't color my hair like I wanted to, so I'm hoping that counts for something.
8. I have decided to adopt the DVD player as a family member to rationalize the amount of time my youngest child spends with it.
9. Showers have become optional for me.
10. I just licked chocolate off my keyboard (it fell off my Drumstick ice cream cone).

???

See how lazy-cray-tired I am? I'm not even going to steal a photo from Google for this post.

I don't know what to title this post so I'm not going to even try. I am so ready to have this baby now. The clothes are sorted, the house is clean, the crib is up, my mom will fly in Monday night, I'm contracting all the time now, I've been reading up on tips to make delivery more comfortable, my hands are are numb and in pain (I didn't think you could feel pain and numb at the same time, but I swear my hands are killing me but are numb like they are asleep), my feet hurt, my maternity clothes no longer fit...

Get the idea? So now I'm just counting down the hours. Tuesday morning will be caster oil/walking a lot time. I can't wait. I can not wait to have this little guy outside of me and in my arms! We still haven't found a name yet. Any ideas? It has to be a name with great meaning or related to a great person, and hopefully doesn't lend itself to mean nicknames.

Mr. Hotness says he will guest post for me when the baby comes to keep you guys informed. Be nice to him =). As for me, I may not be around the blogosphere very much, but I will still be reading your posts (even if I don't comment). Hope you all are enjoying your summer vacations!

=)

Good Clean Parenting

I've mentioned before that I have had a hard time with my relationship with Cookie. I've been working on it for several years now, and today we had a lovely moment. We cleaned together. Now, I know this isn't a new idea, in fact it is one of the oldest parenting tricks in the book. But it can be very hard to do. Usually when I have the kids clean we all do it at the same time, and I act more as a task master than a parent in order to keep everyone in line. Or, I give them their job and I move to another room to clean. I actually really don't like being near my kids when they are cleaning because I have zero patience when it comes to whining. I'd rather they whine to an empty room and avoid any confrontations. Either way, cleaning has never been a bonding moment for me and the kids.

Today was different. Today I really needed to get my living room deep cleaned and I really needed help to get it done. I asked Cookie to help, and she showed little enthusiasm but tried her best not to whine. It went as usual for the first 30-45 minutes, but as we kept digging deeper and went beyond the usual living room duties her attitude began to change. Rather than feeling like a slave, she began to feel like a valued helper, like an equal. We began to chat as we cleaned. We talked about our dream bedroom, about what kind of cleaning we preferred to do (we even switched jobs at that point when we realized that we were both doing a job that the other preferred), I shared memories of cleaning with my mom, and we talked about how REAL cleaning makes us feel good inside. We moved furniture, we dusted, we polished, we sorted, we rearranged the whole room. In the end we both sat back and admired our work while slapping a high five. It was wonderful.

I was quickly reminded, after, why I don't usually clean like this. While Cookie and I were bonding Sweet Terror spilled bubble solution all over the place downstairs, and Monster Man snuck a frozen yogurt pop downstairs and managed to dribble here and there. And now it is time for lunch and the younger kids are still in their PJ's. But it was worth it! I may not do this everyday, but I think this kind of cleaning should happen with each child at least once a month.

And, no, despite even moving furniture (very carefully) I have not gone into labor yet. But there is still much deep cleaning ahead... =)

Say Cheese

This is what I got for trying to take a quick photo of the kids for Mr. Hot's Father's Day gift (a nice framed photo of the kids for his desk at work). I put it off to the very last minute, as in I was trying to get it done and in the frame before he got out of the shower. Stupid me.

Okay, guys, we need a few more smiles here. We want daddy to think you are HAPPY children, right?
Um, that's taking it just a bit too far, don't you think Sweet Terror? And mommy picked a bad angle on this one.

MONSTER MAN!!!! Put those hands down! (Thinking in my head, "He is so stinkin' cute!")

Ok, daddy is turning off the water so this will have to do. Thanks guys, I owe you one!

I've Lost It!

I've completely lost it. But this isn't unusual for me. I've come to consider "loosing it" to be an integral part of parenting. Over the years I've lost:

My mind

My keys

My sense of style

My identity

My brain

My vocabulary

My stomach

etc...

This morning I woke up to find that I've lost my voice. Completely lost my voice. All I can do is whisper. I've had to tell my kids that going to the beach it out for today. There is absolutely no way that I can handle 4 kids on an open beach without being able to yell at them to be safe. But the good news is that everyone is whispering. The kids seem to be mimicking me and are answering me in whispers. I LOVE IT! Our home is so peaceful and content this morning. Maybe I need to loose my voice more often. =)

And, for those important occasions when I do need them to hear me I have found a very valuable tool in my sons' Transformer Voice Changing Helmet.

No Turning Back

The following is my entry into Scribbit's Write-Away contest for June. I have this nasty penchant for sumbitting my entries too close to the deadline, and this one is no exception. The deadline is tomorrow, so if you want to enter too, get typing! The theme this month is "Going places."

No Turning Back

Oh great, Patti is going to be sick. She better not barf. I can't believe she still won't give me the window seat, she isn't even going to look out. She looks green.

"Ha ha ha ha, hey girl, your friend looks like she is going to puke! Ha ha ha!"

Stupid drunk man, why doesn't his wife make him shut up? Oops, maybe he is handicapped, or on a special medication. Still, that lady should tell him to stop laughing at us, it isn't Patti's fault she is sick.

"Lizzy, I'm going to be sitting back here with your dad and Bugga. Can you help Ben with Joseph?"

"Sure mom. Joseph, buckle up. Hey, Ben, wanna trade seats? I want to sit near the window."

Ben takes one look at Patti, another out his window, and quickly shakes his head. Darn! Anna has her earphones on and I swear she isn't looking at me on purpose.

"Ha ha ha! Haven't you ever flown on a plane before?

I put my head back and close my eyes, trying to ignore everything around me. I'll just ignore Patti, and that stupid laughing man. I'll ignore the fact that we are leaving New York and all the friends I've made. I'll just ignore the fact that dad is getting worse and that I'm worried about him making this flight. If I just close my eyes none of this will be real for just a moment. It feels so good to ignore..."

Rrrrruuummbbbbblllllleeeeeee. The plane is taking off. I continue ignoring everything, even that obnoxious man, but I open my eyes to look past Patti and out the window. Here we go! Going to Idaho, back where we started, back to family, back to an easier place for mom to be a single mother, back to the place where there is a cemetary plot, next to Grandma, waiting for dad. There will be new adventures, new friends, a new landscape, and new problems. I'm excited, scared, and numb. I always wanted to travel, but this isn't traveling, really. This is survival, and that is different. We aren't just leaving a place, or people, we are leaving a way of life, and things are never going to be the same, ever again. This is a one way ticket for our family. The trip will continue and each of us will take many different paths, but none of us can go back to where we were and ever have it be the same. Maybe if I explained all this to the laughing man he wouldn't laugh so hard...

Where Can I Get Me Some Of That?

Ahhhh, who needs cocaine, steroids, or Methylenedioxymethamphetamine? I've found something WAY better than any of those nasty things. It's a very nice drug called SUNSHINE!!!

Woohoo, the sun is here. And I feel as if I've been given some kind of miracle pill that gives me super human energy. Or, it would be super human if you were to consider my rainy day laziness as normal human behavior. For the past 2 days I've been cooking, I've been cleaning, I've been putting on makeup... and I have just woken up to the most brilliant morning sunshine I've seen all year. Oh yeah, things are gonna be good today!

AND, starting tomorrow around 11:30am, I get my slaves back. Oh wait, I meant to say: my two oldest children will be done with school and we can spend lots of time together. If the sun will stick around we can actually get this party started that I like to call summer. We have a whole posterboard covered with summer activities and goals that we need to get goin' on (and I just found this addicting site full of awesome activities to do with kids), and there is this little business of bringing another human being into the world that needs to get taken care of, too.

I keep getting asked to post a preggo photo of myself and I've finally decided to acquiesce. Happy now? I should have taken a picture of my feet too. Last night Mr. Hot was rubbing my feet and was shocked at how tight my skin was, I was shocked that he wasn't shocked about the fact that my ankles were triple in size (shows how often he rubs my feet). Just 11 more days till I go on a major drinking binge of castor oil. =)

I was browsing through some of my much earlier blog posts looking for a recipe and it amazed me how much wittier and better written those old posts were, you know, back when I had "full" use of my brain. Will I ever get those brain cells back? *Sigh,* only time will tell.

HAPPY MONDAY!

Shhhh!

Remember the Father's Day coupons I make for Mr. Hotness? Well, I finally decided on the perfect one for this year. Ever since our fantastic 10 year anniversary Mr. H. has been talking of nothing but getting on another jet ski. We had so much fun. Well, I'm a very selfish girl and as soon as I found out I was pregnant I set a very firm rule that he was NOT under ANY circumstances to go jet skiing without me. But he has been so wonderful, and he really hasn't mentioned wanting to do anything else... So, my cold heart has melted and I'm giving him a little freedom for Father's Day. Aren't I the best wife ever? (and if anyone is bothered by the small print on the coupon, no worries. I just think that every coupon has to have some restrictions, and I'm a very jealous woman. =)

Mr. Hotness,

You totally deserve to go out and have some fun. You have spent every moment this year making me happy and catering to my every need. You ceaselessly try to make me feel beautiful even though I'm puffy and grumpy. You've helped around the house and bailed me out of making dinner almost every night. You always make time for the kids and they wait on pins and needles till you come through the door each day. You are our super star. We love you so much!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Cool Stuff

About a month ago (maybe more, I'm sorry) Cookie and I received a wonderful surprise from my friend-blogger, Sonja of Wonder Years. She sent Cookie this fabulous book, Stories from Shakespeare. I am always looking for children's versions of Shakespeare to prepare my children for the real thing. Sadly I am often disappointed with them. They are usually boring or so dumbed down that they are intolerable. Well, not this one. Cookie has read it cover to cover and has gone back to read several of her favorites. It covers 11 plays and gives notes on some of the other plays in the back. The only thing I didn't like in it was Kate's ending speech in Taming of the Shrew, which they wrote in a way that most people interpret it, but I do not. But that is just me being picky about one of my favorites. =) Click on the photos if you want to see how you can buy one for yourself. I highly recommend this book, especially if you ever want to take your child to a Shakespearean play. It does a great job of making the scenes make sense.


Just a few days ago I received another surprise. Amber M. from The McIllece Spot sent me the patriotic pin I won in her giveaway and it looks so professional. She gives a great tutorial on how to make one yourself on her blog. BUT, she also threw in this ultra cute diaper pack (That she made! I'm so jealous of talent like this) for That Kid. It is perfect for the times when all you need are some diapers and wipes and it looks so cute I'd take it anywhere. In fact I'm already using it for Sweet Terror (who will hopefully be potty trained in time for her senior prom). And check out Amber's handwriting. This is handwriting to drool over. It looks like she used a computer font, it is so perfect, but that is her own handwriting. I'm so jealous.

I also had some fun yesterday painting another mural. After the ones I did for Cookie's Day camp I was asked to do one for a Father-Daughter sock hop activity as a photo backdrop. I really like how it turned out.

Go Away

Rain, rain, go away.
Come again another day.
Lizzy's family wants to play.
Rain, rain, go away.

(In Seattle pretty much any day that has a cloud on it is going to be dismally grey and have rain at some point. Today says, "Chance" of showers, but it is already raining all over everything.)

I shouldn't be complaining, because if it really were hot and sunny I would swell up like a hot air balloon and be whining about that instead of this. I'm such a whiner. But seriously, it has been raining all week, and as you can see it isn't about to stop. And notice the temps? It is 48 right now and rather chilly. Last week I actually had to turn on the heater for a little bit because the kids were freezing (and my toes were cold). IT IS JUNE!!! Where is my summer? It is really hard to want to "nest" when it is so dreary outside. The kids are constantly asking to play outside and I have to say no because everything is wet and muddy right now, with no sign of drying. I can't put away our winter clothing because we are still wearing it, and at this point I wonder if it is even worth putting away. Fall is just around the corner. *sigh* =(

Good thing Mr. Hotness brought home some new ice creams for me to try, or I'd be really bummed. I don't know about yours, but our Rite Aid is having a sale on Haagen Daz: 2 for $5. =)

Soup De La Nuit

Sometimes wonderful things happen just out of sheer luck. Like taking a random shot in pool and hitting the cueball off several sides and knocking two of your own balls in without scratching. Whenever something crazy good like that happens to me I try to act cool, you know, like, "I totally meant to do that" but I'm usually so shocked that it happened that I just laugh like a little girl. Last night I was laughing all through dinner over the soup I made, it was so amazingly good.

Mr. Hotness came home at the usual time, and as usual (these days) I hadn't even thought of what to make for dinner, let alone started making it. He comes home late in the evening so if dinner isn't ready it means we go to bed much too late. I had to think of something quick, and I was sick of getting bailed out by McDonalds, Subway, and Little Ceasars Hot-n-Ready $5 pizzas. But what to make? I was tired and in pain and in an, "I don't care," attitude I started gathering ingredients pell-mel. I'm hoping I can remember exactly what I did, though, because the results were fantastic. This made a soup that could easily have become Shrimp Sausage Gumbo if I had just added rice and some heat. So, without further ado, here is what I call Mish Mash Soup:

Mish Mash Soup

Half of a large onion diced
3 large stalks celery sliced
3-4 large carrots sliced (or more if your kids will only eat carrots)
Sautee onion in a large, hot pot with 1 tablespoon bacon grease until starting to brown, then throw in the carrots and celery and continue cooking and stir for 4 minutes.
Sprinkle on about a teaspoon of garlic salt and a little pepper while stirring.

Add:
A can of Italian Style Stewed Tomatoes with the juice
2 teaspoons of Dried Basil
4 Beef Bullion cubes
and 4 cups of water
1 can Kidney Beans drained and rinsed
1/2 of a Hillshire Farms beef polish kielbasa sliced (7oz.) Or you can add the whole thing. I'm just stingy with meat, but the kids wished there had been more "hot dogs" in the soup.

Let this stew for about 10-15 minutes

Throw in:
1 large Zucchini cut in quarters and sliced into thick chunks
3 big handfuls of frozen corn (about 1 cup or more)

Season to taste with more garlic salt

Let stew for 5 minutes. Throw in about a pound of large, raw Shrimp. Let cook just until shrimp are done, and serve.

Mr. Hotness and I both had about 3 bowls each, Cookie had two, Pablo actually ate half of his, and Monster Man and Sweet Terror at least picked out the "hot dogs," carrots, corn, and slurped up the broth. And in our family that is a huge success.

I know there should be a luscious, mouthwatering photo here for you all, but I can't seem to find my camera. As soon as I do I will take a picture and post it here.

Videos and Forced Nesting

My computer and my digital camera are one of those toxic couples that are always fighting and occasionally making up for a day or two. This means that every now and then I can actually get things to transfer from my camera to my computer, like these long overdue videos. So, Mom, Bugga, and the rest of the family, here are some videos that I've FINALLY been able to upload for you to see. Enjoy!

(ARE THESE VIDEOS WORKING FOR ANYONE? THEY DON'T SEEM TO BE WORKING FOR ME.)

Here is Cookie practicing the dance she learned at Activity Days Camp. They only had 3 hours to learn and perform it.

Pablo and Monster Man performing their amazing tricks in the hotel hot tub.

Sweet Terror and her bestest buddy showing off their bean shakers.

Now I am off to finally start preparing for this baby boy to come. For some reason I completely skipped over the usual "nesting" phase of pregnancy so nothing is ready. Last week I had a bad scare with contractions and I was terrified because I was so unprepared. So, now I must make room in the office for the crib, sort and wash baby clothes, pack a hospital bag, check out the hospital where I will be delivering, clean my bedroom (I still have a huge pile of non-maternity clothes sitting on the floor in a corner), buy a new hat (I always don a baseball cap right after delivering and my current favorite is in absolute shreds), and clean the rest of this place so that I won't freak out of I have to call a friend to come over in the middle of the night. Maybe all this work will put me into labor. I'm going to pack my hospital bag first, just in case. =)

What are you doing to start your week today?

Magic Pictures

Poor white crayon. You never did anything to deserve your bad reputation. It isn't your fault you "don't work" and thereby cause many kids to angrily toss you to the floor in sad disgust. So, there you sit in your box, barely used, wondering what your purpose in life could be...

Well, wait no longer, Mr. White. We need you! We will use all of you up making our MAGIC PICTURES.

Have you ever used the white crayon to draw pictures on your hard boiled Easter egg? It's cool because the dye won't stick to the greasy surface so you are left with a clear white drawing on your colored egg. Well, the same technique works with paper and water colors. You have to press down rather hard with the crayon, and I've found this works best on cardstock, but the kids love it. I will draw the younger kids a picture and then they just slop the water color on however they want to find the picture. My older kids love using this technique to write secret messages to their friends. Here is a secret message that we will be sending next week:

At first glance it only looks like a blank piece of paper (we will have a note on it that says: "We were really busy. Please paint your own Father's Day card. Thank you.")

But what is this? There seems to be a message showing through.

TA DA!

P.S. Some daddy's might not have very much patience for water coloring. If so, make sure to use a large paintbrush, like the one I show here, so that the painting can go quickly. =)

Yet Another Internet Addiction

This is a sketch I drew of Alfred Hitchcock when I was 16. I have had a love for all things Alfred Hitchcock ever since my mom first introduced me to one of his movies. In fact, this sketch if from a photo of him on the back cover of a book of mystery thrillers that I was reading the summer my dad was dying from cancer. I wrote the only real diary entry about my father's illness on the inside of that book's dust jacket.

But this isn't about my father. This is about Alfred. Alfred and my new internet addiction. Remember when I swore off internet TV? I was good. I kept away from it for 4 months. But then my sister had to go and tell me that the entire 4th season of LOST was online. My desire to stick to my promise had to do battle with my desire to save money, and watching LOST online was a heckuva lot cheaper (and convenient) than renting it. So, I caved and watched LOST. But then I finished it and forgot to say my prayer right after (you remember the one asking Heavenly Father to break my computer if I watched internet TV?). But I refused to watch something stupid, and stupid seemed to be the only thing available. UNTIL.... until I was browsing NBC and noticed the Alfred Hitchcock Hour on their list of full episode offerings. In my defense, I don't really consider this as watching TV. No, it is more like renewing an age old love affair. Shhhhh, no one tell Mr. Hotness, please. These fun little episodes are just as enjoyable as a packed, frozen, ice cream cone. I just love Alfred's dry, deadpan humor and the way he pokes fun at the show's sponsers. So, here I am, on my pregnant butt, eating frozen novelty ice cream bars, loving Mr. Hotness for keeping me well stocked, and loving my man Alfred for helping me get through these last few weeks of preggo-ness. Thank you, Alfred, darling. And you too, Mr Hotness!

Can you find the episode that has a very young Robert Redford in it?

Egg Rolls

Are you ready to fry in egg roll heaven? Here is your shopping list: (WARNING: This makes a LOT of egg rolls. No worries, though. They get eaten very fast and you can freeze any leftovers. I very rarely have enough left over to freeze as I eat them for every meal the next day. Mmmmmm. And you can freeze them either before or after you fry them. Just make sure they aren't wet if you freeze them raw or they will stick together, and that they are cool if you freeze them fried so they won't get soggy and stick together. )

2 packages egg roll wrappers

1 pound (or a bit more) Sweet Italian Sausage

1 large, or 2 small heads of Napa Cabbage

1 can sliced water chestnuts

3 handfuls of bean sprouts (or two cans of La Choy bean sprouts, but I prefer fresh)

carrots

celery

onion

red pepper

(and various other vegetables to your liking)

Directions:

Squeeze sausage from its casing (If you can find the sausage in a block instead of in a casing it is a lot less gross) and brown like you would hamburger meat, breaking into small pieces. Drain and put in fridge.

Now chop your brains out. Have a big bowl ready for the Napa cabbage. Cut the cabbage into quarters the long way and then slice thinly. This is very messy. And put in the large bowl.

Dice the water chestnuts

Throw in the bean sprouts as they are.

Grate one to two large carrots.

Finely dice 2 stalks of celery.

And finely dice, grate, or julienne any other veggies you want to put in but which are all optional at this point(peppers, onions, mushrooms, broccoli stems, etc)

Season veggies with around 4 tsp of garlic salt, throw in some Chinese 5 spice powder if you've got it, maybe some ginger, you know, just throw whatever Chinesey flavors you like into it.

Heat up a tablespoon of oil in a very large fry pan (or if you have a large crockpot you can do it all at once in there too). Heat up half the sausage till hot and then throw in half the veggie mess. Toss constantly (unless it is in the crock, then just stir it up occasionally). Drizzle 2 Tablespoons of soy sauce (or teryaki) mixed with 3 teaspoons cornstarch over the veggies as you stir them. You just want to cook till the cabbage starts to wilt. Set aside in big bowl. Repeat with second half of meat and veggies, but make sure your pan is really hot before you repeat. Place in big bowl with rest of filling.

Heat your oil to 350.

While oil heats, start wrapping. This is a long tedious process so try to get lots of people to help. This is why we usually only have egg rolls when visiting family or have friends over, so there are many hands for helping. Keep small bowl of water close at hand for moistening the edges of your wrappers. Dip finger in water and run along the edge of the wrapper. The cornstarch used to keep the sheets of dough separate acts as a glue when wet and helps seal your egg roll. You want to make sure that the eggroll is properly sealed. If there are any gaps or holes the filling will spill out into your oil and oil will get into your eggroll making it grossly oily. Here is a link to someone else's instructions if you need more visuals. And then fry till crispy golden brown on both sides.

SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE

For sweet and sour sauce I throw equal amounts (about a cup each) of white vinegar, brown sugar, and soy sauce into a sauce pan, add the juice of a large can of pineapple tidbits and 1/3 of the pineapple, and heat till hot. When hot, stir in 1 tablespoon cornstarch that has been mixed with 2 tablespoons water. Stir till it no longer looks cloudy. You can add some red food coloring for that fun Chinese restaurant look if you want. Make sure to scoop up the pieces of pineapple with your egg roll. YUMMERS!

CREAM CHEESE WONTONS

Now, if you have left over egg roll wrappers, cut them in 1/4ths (into smaller squares). Fill them with a dollop of cream cheese. If you want you can add stuff to the cream cheese like garlic, green onions, shrimp, crab meat, or all of the above. Moisten 2 connecting edges and fold over into a triangle and seal shut, then fry these little guys just like you did the egg rolls. These are sooooo good dipped in the S&W sauce!

And if any of this is confusing let me know what you need clarified and I will edit this in red to try and fix the recipe. There has never really been a recipe for these. It is one of those things you just eyeball and throw together.

WARNING! DANGER!

DO NOT BUY OR ALLOW ANYONE ELSE TO BUY YOU THIS APPLIANCE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES... unless you want to die a very happy death from fried food overdose.

Last Christmas our very dear friends, the "Eds," bought me a brand new Waring Pro Professional Fryer. My first thought when I opened it was, "Aw, crud! There go any hopes of loosing weight after New Year's Day." I refused to even open the box and quickly tucked it away out of sight so as to not even be tempted to tempura. And I was good. I resisted for 5 long months. Until....

I totally blame this one on the baby. Baby HAD to have egg rolls, and lots of them. I tried to convince baby that some nicely steamed broccoli, or some fresh zucchini sticks would be better for it. Baby promptly kicked me in a rather sensitive area and I finally gave in to his demands. Oh, sweet, heavenly, crispy delicious egg rolls. Mmmmmmm. I figured this would finally give me a reason to pull out the Christmas machine.

(These are actually the egg rolls I made with my family in Idaho last summer, but they are the same thing I made Sunday night.)

Oh, the goodness of homemade egg rolls, dripping in tangy pineapple sweet and sour sauce can never be duplicated in any restaurant. And don't forget the side of garlic cream cheese wontons. Oh baby!

The fryer worked like a dream come true. I hate frying foods because I always burn myself multiple times. And it is a pain having to stand over the hot pot, monitoring the food, getting oil splatters all over everything. But with the Waring Pro Fryer I was able to wrap and fry all the egg rolls by myself, in record time, without a single burn and almost zero oil splatters on anything. LOVE IT!

But here comes the very very bad part. Egg rolls and wontons were made and eaten. And then there is this big vat of oil sitting on my counter. I can either:

A) Filter the oil for storage and further use and then spend the rest of the day cleaning, drying, and storing the appliance for future heart attacks. Or,

B) Get as much use out if it as I can before going through with option A. Meaning Mr. Hotness goes to the store and buys lots of fryable things and we eat like there will be no tomorrow, no scales, no tight fitting pants, no acne, no regrets.

I'm just going to let you all guess what we ended up doing.

(And I will try to get a recipe for the egg rolls up by tomorrow in case you don't care about zucchini sticks either)

F-Day Coupons

Father's day is coming and already women across the globe are looking at the prices on BBQs and weedwhackers. But what if your hubby isn't one of the whacky-grill happy guys out there, what do you do for them?

We have a running joke about Father's Day around here. For Mother's Day what I usually want is for Mr. Hotness to take over my job for the day. Meaning he does what I usually do: get the kids dressed, make all the meals, change all the dirty diapers, and let me take a nap. So, I always tease him that I'm going to give him the same gift for Father's Day. I will take over his job for the day. Meaning that we reenact Mother's Day all over again. Doesn't that sound perfect? =)

Actually, Mr. Hotness helps out a lot around here, especially now that I'm a pretty useless pregnant mess, and I really want him to feel special on his special day. I'm not quite sure, yet, what I will be doing this year but here is something we've done in the past that he seems to really enjoy:

Mr. Hotness doesn't want much out of life other than a black convertible BMW M5 with cinnamon leather interior. This makes him a rather difficult person to shop for. He hates gimmicky, kitchy, or cheap little things. So, I usually get him some nice new clothes for summer and then I give him some very very valuable coupons. You've probably been given, or at least heard of coupon gift books, right? With cute little coupons that say, "This coupon is good for one free breakfast in bed," or something along those lines. They are cute but rarely used. Well, I make my coupons so good that they always get used. Here are some of the coupons I've given in the past (and these are things that I never do unless there is an emergency or a coupon)

1. This coupon is good for 5 ironed shirts. In order to redeem, coupon must be presented at least 10 hours before shirt is needed. Expires: September 5th. (After all don't all coupons expire?)

2. This coupon is good for 4 hours of computer gaming at anytime, free of guilt, backlash, mocking, or kids bugging you while you play. Must be used in hourly increments, and all time is rounded up. Time cannot be extended without presenting an extra gaming coupon. Expires: Sept 5th.

3. This coupon is good for one month of no garbage. This includes moving garbage cans to and from the street on garbage day. This coupon is good for one calendar month and does not carry over into the next month if presented after the first of the month. Expires: Sept 5th.

4. This coupon is active immediately. For the rest of the month Mommy promises not be grumpy when you are home. Expires June 3oth. (I only did this once. It was very hard to do some days, but I did it and it was actually an interesting experiment for me and Mr. Hotness LOVED it)

I've done other coupons, but I think you get the idea. They are all things that he really values and none of them are pleasant for me, he knows this and I think that is why he values them so much. And he really does use them. Now, if you want to go above and beyond the coupon you can do what I did last year. After years of ironing coupons I finally gave Mr. H. something really special. The Magic Ironing Hook (If you knew how much I (and he too, for that matter) detest ironing you would know that this is worth more than gold). I printed this sign on cardstock, laminated it, then affixed it to a nice over-the-door hook so it could hang in our closet. Most mornings I'm rushing to get them ironed before he gets out of the shower, but the magic hook hasn't failed him yet. Actually, the first time I gave it to him it was only good for 3 months (I wanted to see if I could really keep up with it), and then for Christmas I gave him this one without an expiration.

The kids and I make badges that say "I love my dad," and they wear them to church that day.

I make his favorite meal (either chicken cordon bleu or meatball subs), and dessert (lemon cream pie or something sickeningly chocolate).

He gets to sleep in and nap with guaranteed silence from the kids or the phone.

On the Saturday before, I usually kick him out of the house to go do whatever he wants (like test drive cool cars that I will never be able to buy him) and we take him to dinner.

Now, if I can get my computer-camera issues taken care of (yet again), I will post some fun homemade F-day card ideas later this week.

What have been some of your most successful Father's Day gifts?